Intimacy Anorexia: Healing the Hidden Addiction in Your Marriage by Douglas Weiss PHD.
Up until recently I knew of this book only by quotes I’d read. They were helpful but for some reason I never did read the whole book. Now I am wishing I had, much sooner. Questions that have plagued me for years, and questions I hadn’t thought to ask, have been answered. At the start of the book I had questions in mind about one relationship, at the end, there were answers about 4 or 5 relationships.
Pondering my new discoveries, I realize; this is not a new dilemma in families and relationships. This is an ancient generational issue.
In the introduction, Dr. Weiss mentions how he and his colleagues began to notice, in their practices of treating sex addicts, a type of client they couldn’t clinically explain.
This person, usually but not always, a male, was addicted to sex but was not having sex with his spouse.
Eventually, Dr. Weiss and his colleagues realized this practise had more to do with avoiding intimacy than it had to do with avoiding sex.
In case you think this is something that couldn’t be affecting you, Dr. Weiss mentions 25% and higher, as the number of people living with this.
You might be wondering, too, how this situation could fit so many relationships in my life. It turns out, avoidance of emotional intimacy affects not just the spouse but the whole family, in varying degrees.
Most statistics are based on information gathered. Many of us keep the family secrets, what would stats be like if we didn’t?
In this book, the author will give a definition, characteristics, causes, patterns and strategies, and much more. This information will be helpful to both the addict and the spouse. There is also a companion workbook with exercises and a twelve step program to help with recovery.
If you read the book and need more help than it provides, they have phone in counselling sessions that can arranged. They also have three day, intensives, on site at their counselling center.
As Dr. Weiss says, their goal is to promote healing of this unique addiction process that is devastating so many marriages.
This book, and many of his other books, can be found on Amazon.com Amazon.ca and probably other Amazon sites as well.
Books can also be ordered directly from his website drdougweiss.com
A companion book to Intimacy Anorexia is Married and Alone and focuses on the spouse. I hope to read it soon and post another review.
If any of this strikes a chord in your heart and mind, I hope you will pursue this information more quickly than I have.
Also, if anyone wants to talk about this, the best place is probably on my Facebook page Janette McCormack-Blogger. Either a comment or a message. Keep in mind though, it is a public site.
May you find needed healing, and blessings, in these resources.