The excitement is inspiring!! April 20, 2022

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We are having a big time tonight.

The Peoples Convoy is parked at a speedway in Sacramento and tonight is street legal drag racing.

The live streamer we’re watching is over the moon about racing one of his friends.

We get to be in the car with him.

A clip sitting in line waiting.

https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxBz22QNtxNsHe6VMCt_CMSSGzfaW6DTLM

We won!

He says he will post a video of the race later. Hoping so.

Later

I love hearing the roaring motors.

Makes me want to race too. Somewhere except on the hilly highway, in the passing lane. lol

Putting my boot in it while it shifts down to a lower gear and we walk away from the guy we’re passing, So fun.

Here is the long form of the podcast today.

Well, that didn’t work. March 27, 2022

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The goal was/is to post everyday but I messed up, again. I was distracted, playing a computer game while listening to a live streamer.

Oh no!!!

Five minutes wasn’t much but I gave it my best shot. I moved fast but apparently not fast enough. Hitting publish at 11:59 didn’t do it for me. Oh well, there would be no worrying about today’s post being on time. (big smile)

While I would like to have a perfect record, the world won’t end if I don’t manage to post everyday. The new plan is to cut myself some slack, still try but don’t stress. It’s much too late to change some habits. Besides I like being lost in whatever is going on in my little world. Usually a book or a three hour podcast.

Three hours sounds daunting but I really like hearing about things that are new to me. Some of the posts are fresh every time; like Carey Nieuwhof, his is usually only an hour long but he has interesting guests and he is an exceptional interviewer. No two podcasts of his are alike and even when he has repeat guests it’s because they have more to talk about. Carey is a long time favorite.

Then there is the three hour podcaster who is new to me, his You Tube name is Viva Frei. He is quite the character and he hangs out with other interesting characters. He is a lawyer turned hopeful politician and since he didn’t win his first try at an election he has turned serious attention toward his online presence. Most of the conversations center around politics and legal situations. His co-host is an American lawyer who is also his friend and business partner. These guys are both characters and will, in small ways, be shocking to some, I’m sure. That’s all part of their charm. Wild haircuts, blind dogs and cigars they can’t light up. They are highly intelligent and knowledgeable. “Boring” quickly kills my interest but so far I’m still watching and enjoying these guys and their guests.

The third one gaining the most attention from me is a podcaster I’ve mentioned often. She is from Ottawa and covered the Trucker’s Freedom Convoy there, never having done such a thing before. Her brother started the channel and enlisted her help with streaming 24 hours a day. Charlotte was out on the streets late at night in freezing weather walking blocks and blocks so we could see what was going on. To warm up she would find truckers or others on the ground to hear about their stories and why they were there.

As events in Ottawa wound down the American effort was started. Once their convoy reached Maryland Charlotte traveled down, for an indefinite period of time, to report on what is happening with them.

Her abilities have blossomed with the experience she is gaining as a live streamer. It’s not as easy as she makes it look. Charlotte is nineteen and a university student with a deep well of resolve and determination. This morning she left Maryland to return to Toronto to write exams. This gal is amazing. She has acquired a loyal and devoted audience who pay attention to where she is, what she eating (or if she is eating), and who in her presence is paying attention to her. She has a ton of moms and dads watching out and worrying over her. They do it because she has captured their hearts. She appreciates and relates well to her audience. Actually, even the in-person people she is hanging out with everyday are vigilant in making sure she is OK.

The channel shared with her brother is ZOT. The plan after exams is to cover the story in the next place that needs it. The US convoy may even see her again.

There are a ton of live streamers out there and ZOT is one of the best, both Charlotte and her brother Matt have worked hard to make it successful.

There is much going on out there that is never mentioned in mainstream media. This is an amazing opportunity for potential journalists. Right now it’s easy to break into the industry and gain experience and a following with the new and modern ways of reaching people. Grass roots people want to know what is going on in their world. It’s amazing that polls show some of these podcasters have larger audiences than mainstream media. This is totally mind blowing.

Charlotte is unsure of what her future holds but journalism is definitely on her radar and we all know she would excel if that was her choice.

So there you have it, another unplanned fixation. lol

It was fun.

I wonder is this qualifies as scribbling? (this weeks weekly prompt from Sunday Scribblings)

It felt like scribbling. lol

A watched and enjoyed podcast January 08, 2022

This man may not be your cup of tea but I loved this interview and want to watch it again soon. Rick Warren has been the founding pastor of a mega church in southern California for forty-two years. He is an author of many books but probably his most well known book is The Purpose Driven Church.

The reason this interview struck a chord with me was his heart. He acknowledges his accomplishments with a humble spirit. He has his head on straight about many things and has a high quotient in emotional maturity. There are so many positive things to be said about his leadership and the interview demonstrates many of those characteristics for us.

If you are interested in someone like this I know you will enjoy this interview. The other cool thing about it is the very beginning where we are introduced to an amazing library museum. He is an avid collector and has made it into Guinness World Book of Records several times. His museum is amazing and worth the look even if you don’t watch the rest of the interview.

Rick Warren has tendered his resignation at Saddleback Church, he plans to retire and pass leadership off to someone else. The retirement discussion is part of the interview. It will be interesting to see what he tackles next.

Carey Nieuwhof has a gift for asking good questions and drawing interesting relatable content out of his guests.

I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

Have you experienced trauma? January 03, 2022

How can you know? One in four women and one in six men have experienced trauma/abuse with many of them not recognizing that they have. Even more recognize the abuse but have not acknowledged or shared it.

Unaddressed trauma is often the root cause beneath many health issues. Heart disease, auto immune disorders being the most common.

Yesterday I discovered a popular podcast dedicated to helping people live better lives and I enjoyed it enough to subscribe. Today’s interview is with an experienced psychiatrist and author of a new book on the subject of trauma, and it deals with today’s question.

I’m sharing this because helpful resources are so important in our healing journey.

I hope you find this as helpful as I did.

We can never see too many of these podcasts. We need to hear this information over and over again. Partly because we are in a different place with each step forward and we are able to take it in in a way we couldn’t on an earlier step.

And, we need to hear the information again because it reinforces earlier hearings and eventually is able to take dominance over the negative narrative we’ve lived with forever.

Happy Viewing!

Notes on Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt Nov 20, 2021

Continuing on from where we left off last time. A few more relevant quotes.

Self condemnation: page 84

When we let lies overrule love, it affects those around us. We tend to take out our frustrations, lack of self-worth, shame or guilt on those we love. We cannot possibly love like we’ve never been hurt if we do not love ourselves.

another very important quote, same page:

If you struggle with shame, you may have trouble extending grace to others. If you struggle with finding self-worth, you may find it difficult to trust those around you.

Page 88:

We wear all sorts of things that keep us in bondage. Shame. Condemnation. Brokenness. Fear. Anxiety. Anger. Unforgiveness.

We are living in a mental cage. Page 89

Imprisoned with painful memories, with failures from the past, with self-sabotaging thoughts, with fear of an uncertain future.

Page 90:

When you start believing the lies about who you are, you begin to destroy your destiny.

How to change the channel?

That will be tomorrow’s topic.

These quotes are not the whole story, we need to read the book to see the full picture.

Well, I’m reading the book. I’m sure you will find it helpful too.

Current Read “How can I ever really forgive?” November 15, 2021

Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt, now that’s something many of us can relate to. Having been hurt.

This book has been out in the open on a shelf for a number of years. Tonight I decided I need to read one of the many non fiction books I’ve been stock piling the last few years. The name of this one popped into my mind before I could even cross the room.

It’s something, because as I read the first two pages I found a conversation pretty much like the one I’ve been having with a friend recently. Hurt, betrayal, pain, a universal problem.

This book talks about all of that and it includes the author’s personal story of pain. Lending credibility because he has walked this road himself.

Jentezen Franklin is a well known public figure and his story is out there but this time it is his telling.

I learned of him in an interview on a popular podcast. I was impressed and bought his book the first chance I got. In paperback so I could mark it up and take better notes.

I’m looking forward to this read. I think it will answer a lot of questions and probably raise a few more.

Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt: Hope, Healing and the Power of an Open Heart

The human heart was created with a great capacity to love. But along with that comes a great capacity to feel pain. There is no denying that those who love us, who are closest to us, can wound us the most profoundly. That kind of pain can be difficult, if not impossible, to overcome. And it can feel even more impossible to continue loving in the face of it. Yet that is exactly what we are called to do.

Sharing his own story of personal pain, pastor and New York Times bestselling author Jentezen Franklin shows us how to find the strength, courage, and motivation to set aside the hurt, see others as God sees them, and reach out in love. Through biblical and modern-day stories, he discusses different types of relational disappointment and heartache, and answers questions such as Why should I trust again? and How can I ever really forgive?

The walls we build around our hearts to cut us off from pain are the very walls that block us from seeing hope, receiving healing, and feeling love. Here are the tools and inspiration you need to tear down those walls, work through your wounds, repair damaged relationships, and learn to love like you’ve never been hurt.

I’ve been thinking October 17, 2021

I’ve had this post in mind for two days now but it was on forgiveness, a comment yesterday changed my trajectory.

The observation was that I love books but people?… not so much.

At first I agreed with that assessment. It’s true I do have deep trust issues and live a solitary life on a day to day basis.

This morning I woke up feeling an overwhelming love for people. This is not uncommon. I’ve experienced this most of my life.

This last while, I’ve been troubled, not able to identify how both could be true, trust and distrust. Especially when it came to men. My dad was abusive. I have two brothers, they were abused. I hated my dad but loved my brothers? Is that what’s behind it? It doesn’t seem to fit but if not that, then what?

Take for example, my neighbor: I’ve shared with her some of my story. She has first hand knowledge of my struggle with trust issues and triggers. I’ve accepted her event invitations and cancelled at the last minute because I knew men would be there and I couldn’t make myself go. And yet… if we were standing in her drive way with her husband and he cracked a joke I was relaxed enough to laugh. I could tell by her body language that she was not happy and was now doubting my story. Which is true? The uptight or the relaxed?

So, how can I love and not love at the same time?

This morning I’m reminded, a survival tool for the severally abused is compartmentalization.

When I’m conscious of me and what I’m feeling, and people get too close – triggers happen, I’m reacting and not liking it.

When I forget about me entirely and my focus is completely on the other person, I feel empathy and love. I’m open and relaxed.

Where does all of this come from?

This morning I’m recognizing, it’s coming from my inner circle, the place where only three humans have ever been, or should have been. It would be truer to say they should have been there but all three chose to live outside of it, emotionally unavailable to me. One of them chose to visit the inner circle occasionally but only physically and in an abusive way.

Now, when I struggle with relating to people as the focus is directed toward me, I’m realizing it’s the result of the trauma inflicted on me by three. That’s one compartment.

There is another compartment where God shows up in the inner circle. This was my place of refuge in traumatic times. God was always there and has continued to be there, emotionally available to me my whole life.

This is how I can love and not love at the same time.

Wherever possible, I choose to love with the love I’ve experienced with God in the second compartment.

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The original thought for this post was – How could I be forgiving?

That’s a big question and I still want to share my story. Soon, maybe.

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This and that, on the lighter side October 06, 2021

What to talk about, anyway? It looks like this will have to be a just-start-talking post since I have nothing in my head that I want to talk about and I do want to keep my daily post commitment. It needs to be on the lighter side though, to make up for the heavy duty posts of the last three days.

Maybe the weather seems like a good choice to start off with.

I feel sorry for my co-workers in northern British Columbia. It’s currently 1 C up there and they had their first snowfall of the season yesterday. That’s way too early. They weren’t all that happy with me when I shared it was 27 C here in southern Manitoba (I work remotely and mostly I’m grateful for that). It’s just as warm here again today. They were talking about us breaking records yesterday but I forgot to listen to see if it happened. I imagine there could have been snowfall records broken up there too.

I couldn’t tease my co-worker today about suffering in the cold as they were out of the office travelling, yesterday and today. They had to go to southern Alberta to a doggy dentist, that’s a ten hour drive. It will be interesting to hear what the roads were like.

It’s crazy how no two years ever seem to be alike when it comes to weather.

With it being such a nice day here today, I was out in the yard for a while trying to take care of weeds. It was impossible to accomplish though as there are piles of leaves everywhere covering things up. There are many trees in my backyard and a giant one next door, a prolific leaf producer.

Last year I raked and managed to keep ahead of them but this year I’m not even going to try. The lawn guys will clean up the leaves and cart them away for me. They do a much better job than I can do, anyway. When they are done the yard will be beautiful and I can easily tackle the last of the weed cleanup.

Working at my job so I can afford to pay for yard clean-up is a win-win situation for this old lady!

Today was not a good day for books. There were a few suggestions but I didn’t see anything I wanted to read.

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I’m not thrilled with my current read so I’ll pick out an up-next book to finish up with.

When Chelsea starts working for a stubborn cowboy, what seems like a dead end might really be a new beginning. 

A horrific accident changed everything for Parker Wilson. The beautiful new employee his mom hires is the last thing he needs and he’ll do whatever it takes to make the girl quit and regain the peace and quiet he prefers.

Nothing short of desperation would force Chelsea Blake to work on a local cattle ranch. She may not be cut out for ranch life, but her determination to succeed is stronger than her handsome employer’s efforts at forcing her to leave. 

Unprepared to discover all they have in common, if they set aside their initial dislike, they might find joy beyond measure.

Happy Reading!