It’s snowing and it’s October 31, 2021

It’s only a flurry but still…

I guess it’s not that unusual when I stop and think about it. When I lived in northern BC we always said snow could be expected to show up on Halloween. We have been spoiled the few times it held off until well into November.

Last year it happened early, October 20 was the beginning of it. But still it was not a bad year for snow. The driveway only had to be cleared a few times.

Here is a clip showing what it was like in the city last year, Winnipeg MB.

I love the music and the lights.

Resources PTSD related October 31, 2021

An ongoing discussion today prompts the sharing of these resources for those of us with abusive backgrounds. The effects can be far reaching but not beyond help.

I was introduced to these books when I joined a group working with other women like me, and they were invaluable. A public library may even be a good place to find these.

The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today’s Generation

In Codependent No More, Melody Beattie introduced the world to the term codependency. Now a modern classic, this book established Beattie as a pioneer in self-help literature and endeared her to millions of readers who longed for healthier relationships. Twenty-five years later concepts such as self-care and setting boundaries have become entrenched in mainstream culture. Now Beattie has written a followup volume, The New Codependency, which clears up misconceptions about codependency, identifies how codependent behavior has changed, and provides a new generation with a road map to wellness.

The question remains: What is and what is not codependency? Beattie here reminds us that much of codependency is normal behavior. It’s about crossing lines. There are times we do too much, care too much, feel too little, or overly engage. Feeling resentment after giving is not the same as heartfelt generosity. Narcissism and self-love, enabling and nurturing, and controlling and setting boundaries are not interchangeable terms. In The New Codependency, Beattie explores these differences, effectively invoking her own inspiring story and those of others, to empower us to step out of the victim role forever. Codependency, she shows, is not an illness but rather a series of behaviors that once broken down and analyzed can be successfully combated.

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Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

In a crisis, it’s easy to revert to old patterns. Caring for your well-being during the coronavirus pandemic includes maintaining healthy boundaries and saying no to unhealthy relationships.

The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America’s best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.

Is someone else’s problem your problem? If, like so many others, you’ve lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else’s, you may be codependent–and you may find yourself in this book–Codependent No More. The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America’s best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.

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Along with these two books this next one is important companion book

Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life

Do you feel like your life has spiraled out of control? Have you focused so much on being loving and unselfish that you’ve forgotten your own limits? Do you find yourself taking responsibility for other people’s feelings and problems? In Boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend teach you the ins and outs of setting the boundaries that will transform your daily life.

Boundaries, a New York Times bestseller, will give you the tools you need to learn to say yes and know how to say no. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend are here to share the lessons they’ve learned in their years of practicing psychology and studying the patterns and practices that support clear biblical boundaries.

A little of this, a little of that October 30, 2021

This blog is supposed to be about books but my mind has definitely not been in that space these days. I still read, but not as much, and I still look for interesting books, but my mind is definitely not in it.

Today, I’ve been trying to land in a lighter place to share a less intense moment with you, in place of books.

In that regard, I do have pictures of a pair of large plants in my living room, one is blooming again for the third time.

The other one has been slower to decide if it wanted to bloom at all but looks to have made the choice. The buds are just beginning to come out. Out to the left in the second picture in case you are having trouble finding them.

They are so pretty, it’s a shame I’m allergic to them.

The slower plant doesn’t get as much light but makes a decent showing anyway.

(The camera doesn’t do a good job of showing true colors. Probably my fault. It really is not this dark and I don’t know how to fix it. Oh well, at least I have pictures lol)

I try to keep them around until I can’t handle it any more and then cut off the bloom stems.

So far so good. They have escaped with their life intact.

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I’ve been in some intense conversations over the last while and it is not easy to shift gears and move on to lighter things.

The good thing about all this, though, is the progress I’m making in sorting through some of my old baggage.

There is something about saying things out loud to another person that puts a different spin on things.

I’ve heard my comedian/singer friend Mark Lowry say after he spouted out some ridiculous stuff – well, it made sense in my head.

I know what he means. Sometimes things we’ve believed or felt don’t hold up to scrutiny when sent out into the world and perspective changes to something better.

I’m happy when this happens. It usually means a move forward.

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So that’s my day. No new books that I’ve seen so far.

There will probably be more installments in the intense but profitable conversation.

And I have a list of Saturday chores that I may or may not get done. We’ll see how it goes.

I’m getting close to finishing the current read and it will be a chore to decide what should be next. There are way too many to choose from.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Happy reading…

… on this pre-winter day that can’t decide whether it wants to be cloudy or sunny.

Currently reading a mystery October 29, 2021

I’m currently reading the new Christy Barritt book in the Salt Water Cowboys series. It has a interesting twist not seen in any other book I’ve read thus far. I wonder how they are going to get out of this situation. Of course we know they will because it’s still the beginning of the book and they are the main characters after all.

Unwavering Security (Saltwater Cowboys Book 6) 

Her plain Jane past still plays on her insecurities. His betrayal at the hands of someone he trusted leaves him on edge. Can they overcome their pasts and rely on each other when danger closes in?

Thaddeus Blackwell and Miranda Stewart have one common goal. As best man and maid of honor, it’s their duty to make sure Grant Matthews’ and Abigail Ferguson’s big day goes off without a hitch. However, after a fantastic first date several months ago, things went downhill and are now awkward, at best, between Thaddeus and Miranda.

Both were hoping to avoid each other except when absolutely necessary. But things don’t go as planned when the Texas FBI agent and New York City reporter literally fall into danger. What they uncover turns their plans upside down.

Now they’re not just helping with the wedding, but they’re trying to stay alive. Can Thaddeus offer Miranda the safety and security she craves? Or is he like every other man in Miranda’s life? Someone may silence both of them before they can find out.

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Check it out, it should be fun. Although there is a dead body, so maybe not so much.

Happy Reading y’all

Free and bargain books October 28, 2021

BookBub has a FREE suggestions for us.

Dillon (Circle A Cowboys Book 1)

Maude’s husband, John, had been injured and she desperately needed some cowboys to work the ranch. She found Dillon down on his luck and gave him, and five other young men, a home and trains them. Seven years later she is set on finding brides for all of the young men. Dillon’s not interested. He was robbed of everything by Slick McCall—someone he trusted. A girl he loved has also treated him poorly. He doesn’t intend to open his heart to anyone. His plan is to stay right there on the ranch and take care of Maude and John.

Abigail has been duped by a slick-talking charmer and is now expecting a baby with no ring on her finger. Posing as a widow, she flees west, intending to start over and create a new life for herself and her unborn baby. However she arrives at Logan Crossing and discovers her money is missing—stolen. She has nothing. Maude offers her a job on the ranch, thinking this pretty young widow will be suitable for one of the boys.

Slick McCall was the man who sweet talked her into making Abby’s baby. She was prepared to tell Dillon the truth about being an unwed mother but hearing his words makes her realize she must guard her secret.

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A suggestion from 1531 Entertainment.

Running With The Wind: A tale of courage, love and survival aboard the Mayflower (The Mayflower Collection Book 1)

Jedediah Trelawney joins a small, overcrowded ship bound for America. A young man from a privileged background, he struggles to adapt to life at sea. Determined to earn the respect of his fellow passengers, he undertakes arduous tasks alongside the crew, but Jed is not cut out for the life of a sailor.

Sickness is rife aboard the Mayflower. Inspired by Samuel Fuller, a self-taught physician, Jed develops a fascination with the healing arts. He thrives as Doctor Fuller’s apprentice and challenges traditional ideas, seeking kinder methods for treating the sick.

Smitten by Desire Minter, Jed dreams of a future as a respected colony physician with Desire as his wife. Hostile passenger, John Billington, has other ideas. When Billington threatens to reveal Jed’s past, Jed becomes the victim of bullying and bribery. Somehow, Jed must silence Billington for good, or risk losing everything — including his life.

A page-turning tale about ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances.

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Happy Reading …

On this cloudy but not terribly cold day at the end of October.

C-PTSD conversation October 28, 2021

Walls or Boundaries?

This week I have been thinking about walls.

The emotional walls many of us put up to protect ourselves from hurt (emotional) or harm (physical).

The trouble with those walls – they don’t just keep out the bad stuff, they keep out the good stuff too.

Some of us have flimsy walls that go up and down, depending on what life is doing to us in the moment.

Others have walls that have grown in thickness and height enough to compare with Fort Knox. That’s the famous institution where the USA keeps it’s gold bullion. The ultimate in fortress walls.

The thicker and higher, the harder it is to bring them down, never mind let someone in for a moment. A very lonely life.

At this stage for me, I have walls that go up and down. They are mostly down but there are still circumstances where I feel threatened, at risk, distrustful, and the walls go up.

A small percentage of the time they may be warranted but the rest of the time the threat I perceive is not real.

I’ve being trying to find a solution, a way to handle triggers and paranoia in certain circumstances and that led me to thinking about boundaries.

The beauty of boundaries is the height. They can be markings on the road, they can be curbs, guardrails, fences. They are usually something that allows for communication and interaction while still acting as a barrier.

I think changing from walls to boundaries will take some serious consideration. A change in mindset.

I haven’t figured it all out yet. How to establish something appropriate and workable. Since we don’t actually have physical boundaries it has to be something that can be expressed in words. Something I can live with and put into practice.

Mostly I feel uncomfortable in public spaces. It will be a challenge to find ways to make that work. What would it take to make me feel safe.

At this point I have no idea what that would even look like but I’m willing to consider it.

Mainly because walls are not working out all that well for me, wanting to leave isolation behind.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

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This is a book I’ve had on my shelf for a very long time. I think I need to read it again. Maybe it will give me some good ideas.

Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life

Boundaries is the book that’s helped over 4 million people learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of their lives.

Does your life feel like it’s out of control? Perhaps you feel like you have to say yes to everyone’s requests. Maybe you find yourself readily taking responsibility for others’ feelings and problems. Or perhaps you focus so much on being loving and unselfish that you’ve forgotten your own limits and limitations. Or maybe it’s all of the above.

In the New York Times bestseller, Boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help you learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of your life and set healthy, biblical boundaries with your spouse, children, friends, parents, co-workers, and even yourself.

Now updated and expanded for the digital age, this book continues to help millions of people around the world answer these tough questions:

  • Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
  • What are legitimate boundaries?
  • How do I effectively manage my digital life so that it doesn’t control me?
  • What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?
  • How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
  • Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?
  • How do boundaries relate to mutual submission within marriage?
  • Aren’t boundaries selfish?

Bargain books October 27, 2021

1531 Entertainment has several suggestions for us.

Don’t Leave Me: A sweet, faith-filled second chances romance at Christmas

Can two people with wounded souls and secrets in their past find love during the most wonderful time of the year?

A DNA match leads Lara Margulis to a small coastal town in search of her father weeks before Christmas. She surprises herself by buying a beach house in need of repairs that reminds her of her childhood home. As an elite fitness trainer, she travels to her clients’ locations and never stays in one place for long. Can her handsome neighbor finally bring home to her heart?

After a tragic loss, Jason Carrington became a hermit. But when his lovely new neighbor needs his help with repairs, he finds himself spending a lot of time with her and gradually falling for her. However, she doesn’t intend to stay—or open herself for love. Will the truth behind her secret bring them closer—or tear them apart?

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A Christmas by the Sea: A Christmas Novella

When Wendy Harper inherits her family’s beachside cottage in Seaside, Maine, she sees it as a way to finally pay off the debts that have mounted since her husband died. But before it can be sold, the neglected property must be renovated. She and her 12-year-old son Jackson move in–temporarily, she reminds him–in order to do the work themselves, even though Christmas is coming.

The charming town, along with local craftsman Caleb Colton, pulls on both Wendy and Jackson, who even registers himself for school in a bid to get his mom to move them there permanently. Wendy knows that the most responsible thing to do is to sell the cottage and return to Ohio, but the lure of the sea is hard to resist.

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I haven’t done much reading today. I’ve been busy responding to a rather deep conversation that has spanned most of the day, off and on.

It has been rather nice, the novelty of someone to talk to.

Maybe reading will happen tomorrow.

In the meantime…

Happy Reading!

Current read October 26, 2021

Not much to share in the way of new books today. Well, it’s closer to nothing to share, to be honest.

There were a few suggestions but they were all recent acquisitions so no need to share them here again.

There was one completed read but I flipped through it to the end and only gave it three stars. It was not worth mentioning, in my mind anyway.

Finally, there is a book worth mentioning. It is a three book collection, I’m on book 1 and quite enjoying it.

A Taking Chances Christmas 

Dreaming of More

One girl, one problem, and two possible solutions.

An orphan herself, all Norah Monroe wants to do is adopt three kids from the Stanthorpe Children’s Home, giving them the home she never had.

Head of the adoption board, Octavia Stanthorpe, driven by her own self-importance and prejudice, is determined to rid the town of riffraff like those Monroes. Her solution? To dust off an outdated and long forgotten rule stating all adopters must be married…and Norah is not married.

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It looks like I’m going to have to read all three books to find out who got the girl.

It’s only the end of October and already we have been having heavy frost. Winter seems to be arriving early this year. It will soon be time to break out the long-johns.

I don’t mind, I like being warm.

Happy reading, and stay warm.

Unless you are in Florida or south of the equator, in which case we would have to say, stay cool.

Free and bargain books October 25, 2021

BookRunes has a FREE suggestion for us, This is an author new to me and when I checked out her other books I found a second one free. I figured why not so we’ll go for both of them.

Way of the Raven

Two Converging Paths…NYC editor David Wappelhorst has everything going for him except what he’s wanted in life. Concerned he’s waited too long to pursue his dream of writing a bestseller, he ditches his prestigious career and relocates to his hometown.

After witnessing a murder and given a new identity, Megan Summers finds herself in a Podunk Pennsylvanian town far away from family. Stunned with grief, she wonders if it’s possible to rebuild her life. A nearby abandoned brick house with a grim history lends more unease to her situation. Has she escaped one deadly past to live in the shadow of another?

David is intrigued by crossing Megan’s path. Why does she seem familiar? And by meeting her has his desire turned tragically unattainable?

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Rafe’s Cafe

Rafé always thinks of fall in a strange, sweet way. That’s when he met Patty.

With a flair for retro style and a feisty pet ferret, Rafé Sinclair is not the ordinary pizza chef of the 1990s. Although he enjoys hard work, nothing in his life has ever gone right. The dream of having his own café has vanished, and love has passed him by. When a friend sets up a blind date, he’s not sure what to expect. Is his life finally taking a turn for the best?

Running from a painful past, cute Goth Patty Blackford is matched to an unlikely suitor. Possibly he will be entertainment for several months or more. She will win his love with the intent of breaking his heart. Then she can fully receive the compensation the male gender owes her and rebuild her life.

Everything is looking up for Rafé and Patty. What could possibly go wrong?

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1531 Entertainment has several collections we might like.

A Taking Chances Christmas 

Synopsis for the first book.

One girl, one problem, and two possible solutions.

An orphan herself, all Norah Monroe wants to do is adopt three kids from the Stanthorpe Children’s Home, giving them the home she never had.

Head of the adoption board, Octavia Stanthorpe, driven by her own self-importance and prejudice, is determined to rid the town of riffraff like those Monroes. Her solution? To dust off an outdated and long forgotten rule stating all adopters must be married…and Norah is not married.

Therefore… “Application denied.”

Enter Thad Davis, the town doctor, and Clay Barrett, a local rancher. One offers a marriage of convenience and a guaranteed solution to the adoption issue. The other offers the chance to fall in love with no guarantees at all. Supported by her brother, Norah needs to figure out what she’s going to do now.

If that wasn’t tricky enough, it’s early December and she has until the new year to do it. Will she run out and do something stupid or will she trust in the LORD forever?

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Faith & Family Christmas Collection (20 Book Box Set)

Take courage this Christmas and join these brave women as they leave behind all they know for a new life out west.

In these delightful stories, the magic and hope of Christmas are never far away. Love will always find a way to melt even the coldest of hearts.

This collection of clean festive stories reminds us that there is nothing more important than family and faith at Christmas.

The box set contains these stories:

Finding Christmas
The Christmas Journey
Christmas Memories
Finding Faith at Christmas
Christmas Secrets
Her Christmas Joy
Christmas Miracles
The Christmas Bride
The Christmas Delivery
A Christmas Hope
The Christmas Gift
The Bride’s Christmas Blessing
The Two Christmas Gifts
The Christmas Choice
The Christmas Grieving
Finding A Family at Christmas
A Christmas Story of Two Sisters
Kitty’s First Christmas
A Cowboy’s Christmas Carol
The Christmas Heart

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Hopefully there will be something here you like.

Happy Reading!

Read and enjoyed October 24, 2021

I have a few read-and-enjoyed books to share. There was a nice variety this time and several were a fun experience, Archer and Ready to Fumble in particular.

I’m between books and two are looking attractive as my next read. It will be a challenge to settle on one.

It’s been an interesting day. Nothing went as expected but still it was a very good day.

I’m off to decide on the next read. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Happy Reading.