God’s love

Mark, Buddy, and the Book of Common Prayer January 10, 2022

/ For the Love of Books / Leave a comment

Two of my favorite singers are having a deep conversation about today`s scripture reading in the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer. At least it starts out that way and then it evolves into so much more.

While I was listening to them live I added a couple of videos here to introduce you to Buddy and his amazing talent. Who knew he would sing the same song live. Now you get to see him perform in two different settings.

Introduction to Buddy

One of his songs

I love today`s podcast, I hope it blesses you as much as it does me.

They will be doing this again and I plan to share them all.

Notes on Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt Nov 21, 2021

/ For the Love of Books / Leave a comment

Last time we ended just before the topic… Changing the channel on our invasive words and thoughts.

Page 92:

There are a number of components and I will highlight a few that stand out to me. There is so much more to be said, reading the book would be helpful.

...how you can start: Change what you tell yourself. … Talk back to your inner critic.

The most important battles we fight, many times, happen internally.

The past can be healed in only one way: Forgive it. That is the one thing you can do for yourself that can change all of your tomorrows.

**********************

Page 93 – 96

I’m going to deviate from the book here. The author is dealing with shame in this section and uses the example of the Prodigal Son in the Bible. He tells how the father, with love, received his son back home. Despite his “bad boy” lifestyle, wasting his inheritance, and returning home in disgrace.

The father is a picture of the way God loves us and receives us no matter what we’ve done or what has been done to us.

I’m deviating from the book, though, because I think it’s important for us to understand the difference between shame and guilt. The information I’m about to share I’ve seen expressed in many places over the years, but for today’s purpose I found it laid out on verywellmind.com under living with BPD.

I’m paraphrasing here for space sake.

Guilt is the feeling you have related to things you have done. With guilt you can take steps to make things right and move on.

Shame is the feeling you have related to you are, or who you’ve been led to believe you are, your whole self not just an event. Shame it is not as easily dealt with because there is nothing you can do to make restitution. It’s about who you are, not something you’ve done.

There is an excellent ten minute podcast on their website discussing the shame we have been hiding and the link is posted below.

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-verywell-mind-podcast-5113058

The important take away from the podcast was this: there are two things shame cannot survive. One is exposure, tell someone. The second is empathy, tell someone who understands and is supportive.

It’s very important to find the right person to confide your secrets.

If shame is an issue for you, and it is for those of us who have survived an abusive life, this is highly helpful information.

So, back to the book. Check it out for the larger conversation.

I’m not sure what’s next but we will find out.

Notes from Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt Nov 16

/ For the Love of Books / Leave a comment

There is so much in this book. I’d have to quote the whole thing to share every shred of life giving wisdom. Since that is not possible, I’ll share a few nuggets. You will have to get the book to fill in the blanks.

***************

Page 16: When we seek to love God, love ourselves and love others, we can learn to love despite what happened in the past. We can mend brokenness that has plagued our families for generations.

Page 17: Many of us fail to realize that what matters most in life is relationships. (not power, fame, riches, social standing, things)

Page 26: To move forward you have to let go of the past. … If you will reach for a new day, God will begin, little by little, to release you from the past. … This means loving so intensely that it overrides all your natural instincts for bitterness and revenge.

***************

Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt: Hope, Healing and the Power of an Open Heart

I feel like the little bit I’ve shared from this book doesn’t begin to fill the need for explanation.

Love heals is something I’m hearing from many directions these days and I’ve found it to be true.

Love and hate can’t exist in the same body, at least not very well, it’s just not possible. As we work on growing the love portion in us the hate part will diminish and disappear. The best part of it is: the peacefulness of love makes life worth living.

****************

The discussion in this book is relevant to some of the conversations I’ve been in lately and that is very encouraging.

Enough so that I will be back looking for a few more nuggets to share next time.

Seriously, get the book if your life needs to hear these words, you won’t be sorry.

Wishing you the very best on your journey to wellness.

Current Read “How can I ever really forgive?” November 15, 2021

/ For the Love of Books / Leave a comment

Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt, now that’s something many of us can relate to. Having been hurt.

This book has been out in the open on a shelf for a number of years. Tonight I decided I need to read one of the many non fiction books I’ve been stock piling the last few years. The name of this one popped into my mind before I could even cross the room.

It’s something, because as I read the first two pages I found a conversation pretty much like the one I’ve been having with a friend recently. Hurt, betrayal, pain, a universal problem.

This book talks about all of that and it includes the author’s personal story of pain. Lending credibility because he has walked this road himself.

Jentezen Franklin is a well known public figure and his story is out there but this time it is his telling.

I learned of him in an interview on a popular podcast. I was impressed and bought his book the first chance I got. In paperback so I could mark it up and take better notes.

I’m looking forward to this read. I think it will answer a lot of questions and probably raise a few more.

Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt: Hope, Healing and the Power of an Open Heart

The human heart was created with a great capacity to love. But along with that comes a great capacity to feel pain. There is no denying that those who love us, who are closest to us, can wound us the most profoundly. That kind of pain can be difficult, if not impossible, to overcome. And it can feel even more impossible to continue loving in the face of it. Yet that is exactly what we are called to do.

Sharing his own story of personal pain, pastor and New York Times bestselling author Jentezen Franklin shows us how to find the strength, courage, and motivation to set aside the hurt, see others as God sees them, and reach out in love. Through biblical and modern-day stories, he discusses different types of relational disappointment and heartache, and answers questions such as Why should I trust again? and How can I ever really forgive?

The walls we build around our hearts to cut us off from pain are the very walls that block us from seeing hope, receiving healing, and feeling love. Here are the tools and inspiration you need to tear down those walls, work through your wounds, repair damaged relationships, and learn to love like you’ve never been hurt.

More to say about thinking. October 17, 2021

/ For the Love of Books / Leave a comment
Photo by Anna Zaykina on Pexels.com

I can hear someone saying, if he was with you why wasn’t God with me when I was being traumatized?

He was, but there are a few things that make a difference.

I had elderly relatives who knew the situation, at least partially, and were talking to God about me every day. They were also loving on me and telling me about God every chance they had, which wasn’t often. I knew about him and knew to look for him in the room I’d run to in my mind. Escape from the horror.

On top of that, though my parents were running away from God he was still a topic in our home. Dad’s family was Roman Catholic and church attendance was an important and significant part of their family life. Before they were married Mom had to promise the kids would be raised Catholic.

Mom’s parents were Protestant and Grandpa was a pastor. There was angst in our home due to mom’s guilt over living a lifestyle that was heart breaking to her parents.

We never did go to church anywhere and the three of us kids were sent to public school.

I was always a super sensitive kid. Without God I probably would not have survived.

God is with all of us, always, but if we aren’t aware he exists we wouldn’t know to look for him.

God didn’t keep bad things from happening to me but I know he kept things from being much worse than they could have been.

After my third child was born Mom got back together with God. One day she shared with me about looking back over the days of her rebelliousness (oh yes, she was rebellious.) Even though she did whatever she wanted, God was still looking out for her. She could see many places in her life where he had rescued her.

As healthy parents, we never stop loving our kids (at least most of us don’t) no matter how how badly they behave.

God wants a big family and he is aware of every single child that is conceived. He loves them all. That’s mind blowing.

He’s been with you every single day, even if you don’t know it.

Photo by brenoanp on Pexels.com

I’ve been thinking October 17, 2021

/ For the Love of Books / Leave a comment

I’ve had this post in mind for two days now but it was on forgiveness, a comment yesterday changed my trajectory.

The observation was that I love books but people?… not so much.

At first I agreed with that assessment. It’s true I do have deep trust issues and live a solitary life on a day to day basis.

This morning I woke up feeling an overwhelming love for people. This is not uncommon. I’ve experienced this most of my life.

This last while, I’ve been troubled, not able to identify how both could be true, trust and distrust. Especially when it came to men. My dad was abusive. I have two brothers, they were abused. I hated my dad but loved my brothers? Is that what’s behind it? It doesn’t seem to fit but if not that, then what?

Take for example, my neighbor: I’ve shared with her some of my story. She has first hand knowledge of my struggle with trust issues and triggers. I’ve accepted her event invitations and cancelled at the last minute because I knew men would be there and I couldn’t make myself go. And yet… if we were standing in her drive way with her husband and he cracked a joke I was relaxed enough to laugh. I could tell by her body language that she was not happy and was now doubting my story. Which is true? The uptight or the relaxed?

So, how can I love and not love at the same time?

This morning I’m reminded, a survival tool for the severally abused is compartmentalization.

When I’m conscious of me and what I’m feeling, and people get too close – triggers happen, I’m reacting and not liking it.

When I forget about me entirely and my focus is completely on the other person, I feel empathy and love. I’m open and relaxed.

Where does all of this come from?

This morning I’m recognizing, it’s coming from my inner circle, the place where only three humans have ever been, or should have been. It would be truer to say they should have been there but all three chose to live outside of it, emotionally unavailable to me. One of them chose to visit the inner circle occasionally but only physically and in an abusive way.

Now, when I struggle with relating to people as the focus is directed toward me, I’m realizing it’s the result of the trauma inflicted on me by three. That’s one compartment.

There is another compartment where God shows up in the inner circle. This was my place of refuge in traumatic times. God was always there and has continued to be there, emotionally available to me my whole life.

This is how I can love and not love at the same time.

Wherever possible, I choose to love with the love I’ve experienced with God in the second compartment.

*********************

The original thought for this post was – How could I be forgiving?

That’s a big question and I still want to share my story. Soon, maybe.

Photo by Peng Louis on Pexels.com

The kernel of a thought October 12, 2021

/ For the Love of Books / Leave a comment

Just start talking. That’s what I have to do tonight. Once again I do not have a post in mind.

I’m going to keep it short because I need sleep to be able to function tomorrow. I know if I don’t use restraint this could easily end up being really long, leaving me with a very short night.

This whole subject has been on my mind for a long time but it’s complex and not necessarily easily understood, especially when spoken about briefly. I think it would take a book for me to say everything I need to say on this subject.

I don’t even know how to begin and it’s already been a half hour. I think slow, trying to get it right enough to make sense, and I write even slower.

I’ll try to express the kernel of it in a sentence or two and expand on it another time. Or even more likely, it will take many times to get it all out.

I love God deeply, and at the same time I feel loved by him. We have loved each other for a very long time.

It’s killing me not to expand on this but I know I have to go.

In the meantime…

I love looking at the mountains, they remind me – our help comes from the creator, of heaven and earth. And what a creator he is.

Photo by S Migaj on Pexels.com

Until tomorrow.

Free and bargain books September 05, 2021

/ For the Love of Books / Leave a comment

BookBub has a bargain suggestion. Researching this book I found I’ve read the series collection books 1-5 already. Looking into it further I found books 1 and 2 are either free or bargain as well as book 3. With that in mind I’ll list all three. It’s too bad the box set is full price now but these three are a good deal. Although 5 books for $10.00 is not bad either.

Wisdom to Know (Grant Us Grace Book 1)

A rebellious pastor’s daughter.A best friend who loves her faithfully from the sidelines.But is there sin that love can’t cover?

Kevin McGregor heard God tell him that Lydia Brown was the woman he would marry. But that was ten years ago. And watching her take every turn down the road away from him and her faith is slow torture.

Lydia Brown has taken just about every wrong turn she could find. When an abortion leaves her overwhelmed by guilt, she turns to drugs to escape her pain. Landing at rock bottom, Lydia is forced to reevaluate her choices.

In the depth of her downward spiral, Kevin desperately tries to convince himself – and God – that loving Lydia is a mistake. Will Lydia embrace a new start, including feelings for Kevin she’d never acknowledged until now? Or will the sins of her past keep them apart?

***************************

Courage to Change (Grant Us Grace Book 2)

He’s a lawyer who’s determined never to love again. But his coworker refuses to get the memo.

When Phil Reid became a Christian and stopped drinking, his hard-partying wife Brandi divorced him. Reeling and betrayed, he becomes convinced Christians should never remarry, and resolves to guard his heart.

Allison Vasak has everything in her life under control, except for one thing. Her heart is irresistibly drawn to fellow attorney and coworker, Phil. Though she knows his history and believes that women should not initiate relationships, she longs to make her feelings known.

As Phil and Allison work closely together to help a pregnant teen, both must reevaluate their convictions. But when Brandi discovers Phil’s new relationship, she decides that though she doesn’t want him, no one else can have him either. Can Phil and Allison’s love weather the chaos Brandi brings into their lives?

***************************

Serenity to Accept (Grant Us Grace Book 3)

An emotionally scarred nurse falls for the handsome new doctor. But his deep love for Jesus is a bigger roadblock to love than either of them anticipated.

Karin Reid has never had much use for God. There’s been too much pain in her life for her to accept that God is anything other than, at best, disinterested or, at worst, sadistic. Until she meets Jason Garcia.

After his own mistakes of the past, Jason is committed to dating only Christians. He decides to bend his rule for Karin, as long as she comes to church with him.

As their friendship grows, both will have to decide if they’ll accept the path God has for them, even if it means losing each other. Serenity to Accept is the third book in the 5-book contemporary Christian romance Grant Us Grace series. Set in the greater Washington D.C. area, the Grant Us Grace books provide thought-provoking spiritual threads wrapped up in swoonworthy romance.

**************************

After a bit of a refresher I can remember reading this series.

There is another suggestion I’m checking out. If it turns out to be something interesting I’ll share it in another post.

In the meantime…

Happy Reading

I love this awesome harmony. September 24, 2021

/ For the Love of Books / 1 Comment

Mark Lowry is the author of Mary Did You Know , has had a long and popular singing career. He has an off-the-cuff let’s-sing show from his home “studio”, it’s on his YouTube channel and many other platforms. Tonight his special guests have just released a new project. The group’s name is SouthBound and the album is SouthBound.Live.

This in an impromptu concert and many people, including me, are loving it.

I enjoy this so much I must share. These energetic guys are singing many of the songs off their new project. I have to have this.

Mark has just hit a million subscribers on Facebook and he loves reminding us. Everyone of them love him too.

The upbeat songs in this concert touch hurting hearts in the most amazing way.

Enjoy.

I am enjoying for the second time tonight 🙂