Detransitioning is a thing January 09, 2023

Detranistioners are speaking out. Their stories are horrific.

One young woman has accepted a number of interview invitations and it’s heart breaking listening to the way things have turned out for her.

One of the best interviews I’ve heard so far is with Jordan Peterson, a clinical psychologist. Not only is he able to ask intelligent and respectful questions to draw out her story but he is able to provide relevant information and explanations for questions coming to mind for both the young woman and the audience.

There is so much more I can think to say but hearing the interview would be a better way to go.

One other interview that I would rate in second place for the interviews I’ve heard so far is with Glenn Beck. His interview was also compassionate and thoughtful. He is not a doctor, that’s why Jordan Peterson has the advantage.

Heart breaking, is all I can say.

There are others in the same position but Chloe is the one I’ve watched so far.

I was talking to my daughter about this whole subject the other day, in relation to my grandson’s high school. She tells me the subject is prevalent in our schools already. And like everywhere else neither parents nor the conflicted young people are not being given the full picture about the real risks and consequences of the drugs and radical surgeries.

The saddest thing for me was when Chloe said that if she had known the risks involved with this treatment, she would never have said yes to what the health professionals wanted to do for her.

She was twelve when she first started down this path.

Now, still a teenager, Chloe wants to tell her story to save others from what her life has become.

It sounds like handling these treatments as an adult is less traumatic but not necessarily by much.

My own observation was that the consequence discussion was graphic, very personal, and unexpectedly surprising. I would never have dreamed what would rise up to be a problem for her.

I hope many of you will watch this and pass it on to spare others who may be in the position of making a decision without benefit of knowing the real risks.

This and that January 06, 2023

It has been quite a day. A very good day actually.

It started out with signing of a renewal for my mortgage. Normally this would be fairly quick and easy but for some reason the process of signing was complicated this time. I have multiple devices but to my mind all of them had issues. Why can’t I print, wet ink sign, and scan. Eventually (a few days later) we got it done.

There was an upside to the struggle though. In the end some of the decisions were changed to something better and it was worth the hassle. Besides that, the experience of chatting with the bank representative was well worth the time spent.

Signing using the mouse left us with an interesting version of my signature. I guess the app doesn’t care, it just knows a signature has been applied.

At least it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Couriers have devices with such small awkward screens and those signatures were out of this world every time. I’d never have to worry about forgeries that’s for sure. It’s a good job we didn’t have to use them to identify the signor as me. lol

The next good thing in this day was having three muscled family members show up to install a new water softener device and then hang some drywall for a needed repair. It was a fun day. It took longer than the 2 hours originally estimated and I was happy with that. There are always challenges with these things and it sounded like the guys enjoyed working on it together.

The next while was spent on chores and work projects with a little reading thrown in and later some videos but now that the day is ending I’m missing having my kids here. (grown men but still my kids.) In all honesty, I’ve been preparing emotionally to have them gone but now I’m feeling it more than I thought I would.

My son will be flying back to his home on Monday, several thousand miles away, and it is another good bye. We’ve had three already as his boys left at different times, in different directions, and then his wife and daughter left on a flight home early yesterday morning. School was starting and she had to be there.

I was happy, I seemed to be taking all this in stride without any tears and figured I was going to do well this time. I guess it just took a little longer to hit me.

To fill in the time this evening I was watching/listening to videos and working on a puzzle.A black and white puzzle the rest of my puzzle loving family members were reluctant to work on for some reason.

One video was an interview with the author of a wildly popular book on developing good habits that will help us reach our potential. (the interviewer has a gift for asking great questions) (the intro to this video has an ad for materials related to church leadership skills but this interview does not address any of that. It is about successfully building an online presence.)

The second was a documentary about the life and career of Alan Rickman. He played the terrorist in the Die Hard movie with Bruce Willis. I had no idea he was so successful and broadly talented. (I watch this movie at least once a year, usually at Christmas. The perfect time 🙂 )

Both videos were lengthy and well worth the time spent. (I’ll add them at the bottom for you) And they helped me focus on the puzzle too – a definite plus.

I enjoyed the whole experience but was left wishing some of my puzzle loving family were here with me. I sent a wish you were here note on our group chat and expressing that thought was probably what caused the sadness to surface.

A good nights sleep will probably cure the worst of the lonely feelings. It has been a full day that’s for sure and a rest is in order.

I’ll share the two videos and the puzzle picture I sent to my family.

Anyone else want to pop over and work on it with me? No? I like the interesting picture and a challenge is always a good thing.

No books today. I did investigate but nothing popped up. Maybe tomorrow

I love this puzzle.

I’m off to bed as soon as I read through this thing another time or two. Maybe you will forgive me if I miss a few problem areas? Hopefully it will make sense. It made sense in my head.

Happy watching and reading.

I hope you enjoy these videos as much as I did.

This and that November 26, 2022

Photo by Tomas Anunziata on Pexels.com

Do you ever wonder why some people are thinking that the world will soon be over populated and it will be a bad thing.

I think about it often and even more so lately. The other day someone, I think it was Bill Gates but I could be wrong, was talking about the current world population of 80 billion or so and how it’s imperative we get that down below that threshold if we want our world to survive.

I’m perplexed hearing people talk like this.

It doesn’t sound like we live in the same world. (Bill Gates and I)

The only reason I can see for someone thinking that way is if their only experience is big city living. Very big city living. If that’s the case they have a very narrow way of looking at things.

It’s true that cities in Asia and other similar parts of the world are greatly congested. It’s a challenge, driving erratically, bumper to bumper, taking your life in your hands every time you venture out.

Walking is not much better as everyone scurries about, shoulder to shoulder, narrowly missing collisions.

We hear stories of culture shock, experiencing Canada for the first time. Wide open lonely spaces everywhere. They miss the jostling crowds.

Yes, there are moments of great congestion and traffic jams here in our handful of big cities but that’s all they are, moments, not a way of life.

In Canada there are thousands of miles of lonely roads. Small towns (never mind big cities) are few and far between.

This big city (in the US is my guess) is not crazy.

Photo by Nikita Igonkin on Pexels.com

Travelling the lonely miles across Canada, gazing across acres and acres of uninhabited land it is impossible to fathom ever being over populated. With an abundance of flat empty land that could be turned into farm land it’s unfathomable to think there would ever be a day we couldn’t feed ourselves and other parts of the world too.

Photo by Nextvoyage on Pexels.com

And Canada is not the only country with vast uninhabited areas. It’s a surprise to note that the USA has vast poorly populated areas too.

When we look closely we find that every single continent is the same. Vast underpopulated areas.

Even with the uninhabitable mountainous areas taken into account, there are still huge areas that could sustain thousand if not millions of new residents.

I think these people with wild ideas need to get out and experience the myriad of wide open spaces across the world and then try to tell us our world is in danger of being overpopulated. Not going to happen anytime soon, if they are honest.

Been needing to say that for a while. September 29, 2022

First, I have to say it’s a bookless day, So sorry about that. And, I probably should have called this a This and That day because it may turn into that, you just never know.

It all started with a knock on the door. For the second day in a row.

Unexpected knocks on the door usually end up with people selling something or other that I don’t want or need and knowing that, I don’t care to answer. Maybe the reluctance is not liking to say no, even though I want to.

That’s what happened on the first day. I’ve never had someone be as persistent as this lady. She obviously knew I was here because she looked in the side window and could see me sitting at the table, typing away. After the fourth knock I went to the door and opened it a crack. She asked me a question. It was not a conversation I wanted to have so I slowly closed and locked the door walking away. I couldn’t believe did it. I still can’t. But I’m glad I did. It was better for both of us, at least from my perspective.

The next day there was a knock again. This is an unusual experience at my house y’all. And when it does happen I try to peek to see if it’s someone I know. I rarely answer the door so to do it two days in a row is unheard of.

This time there was man standing at a respectful distance from the door. He was holding something in his hand that looked suspiciously like election handouts. Sure enough they were. This confident professional man was running for school board and wanted to know if he could leave a brochure.

It’s kind of hard to say how the conversation veered from school board into a broader political conversation but it did. I’m not even sure how I had the audacity half way through to ask him what his political affiliation was, but I did. I couldn’t believe I did it and I don’t think he could either. To his credit he did answer carefully. Maybe he was trying to avoid being trapped in a negative situation.

It was good, we covered a wide range of subjects relating to politics in Canada and other places. I’m sure we don’t see eye to eye on everything but it was a positive experience. Several times before he left he commented on enjoying the experience. I did too. It isn’t often I get to have a conversation with someone that invested in the topic.

The coolest thing of all though, as I thought about it later, was that I got to say, spontaneously, things I’ve wanted to say to a politician for a very long time. I realize he is at the school board level but our city isn’t that big and I’m sure he has opportunities to meet up with our federal member of parliament now and then. He may even remember some of our conversation and things I was hoping he would pass on. Like be brave and stand up to people with crazy ideas. Say no when no needs to be said.

This was one time I was glad I answered the door.

I am learning to say no more often too. This usually generates even more I can’t believe I just said that moments. Love it.

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The day we said good bye September 08, 2022

I think I will forever remember the day Queen Elizabeth died. On my daughter’s birthday, today.

I remember Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip visiting Canada when I was living in British Columbia many years ago. I’m not sure what year though, they made a number of visits and I can’t tell which one it would have been. I was young and it made quite an impression on me, I do remember that.

There is no doubt about it. This is the end of an era. She is an impossible act to follow, an amazing woman gifted in a way few are. She was a queen, through and through, it wasn’t something assumed when out in public and hung in the closet when arriving home.

It looks like those coming behind will be assuming a role, it is not who they already are. Sad for us and for them.

Life changes and the world moves on, maybe culture is becoming such that a monarchy – king/queen is no longer needed the way it once was. Maybe a role play will be enough to do the job.

RIP Queen Elizabeth II, we will remember you with a lifetime of respect and appreciation.

LIFE Queen Elizabeth: 70th Jubilee

Out an about, she was a classy lady. At home with her dogs she was real, with her rubber boots and earthy toned heavy coat. Comfortable both ways. Remarkable.

A rewired brain – abuse, pornography

Abuse and pornography = a rewired brain. Mine has been rewired by abuse starting at a very early age and I’m just now figuring it out.

Probably because I didn’t want to figure it out sooner.

Two things set this event in motion.

One of the comments appearing often over the last several years is that “the body remembers.” I have to say that’s true. One of the fleeting memories I had as a young kid and remember vividly to this day was straddling a metal barrel warmed by the sun, struck by the thought “I’ve had this experience of warmth before somewhere.” There are many other similar memories and thought patterns that added all together lead to a dark place.

Another happening adding to the discussion in my head was a recent podcast where the interviewee talked about his early introduction to pornography and how the practice rewired his brain and made relationships difficult. One of the biggest reasons, aside from guilt, for this difficulty in relationships is connection, or more precisely, a lack of it, and pornography contributes to it. But that’s a subject for another day.

For years I have wrestled with many things about my thought processes regarding men, especially compared to thought patterns of other women. I have an inexplicable love/hate relationship with them. I love having long conversations with my sons and brothers so there’s that. Then, I don’t exactly hate other men, I just run away from any who show interest.

This rewiring is apparent when I can’t understand the fascination young girls, or women for that matter, have with boys/men. The only experience I have with normal teenage thoughts is reading about them in books. I can’t relate to the giggling fascination. Swooning over cute boys, falling in and out of love regularly and sharing all the details of these interactions daily with their friends.

The reason I am happy about this recent new level of understanding about my mixed up feelings is my incessant need to know why. Why am I this way?

I’ve heard other abuse victims say this: there are two sides to the coin. On the one hand you hate the abusive experience forced on you while at the same time, the physical experience has a level of enjoyment to it. Our bodies betray us by liking what is happening.

I guess all of this explains why I have a good attitude toward the physical experience but a negative reaction to the thought of having a man in my life. The unwelcome hazy face rising up at the thought of sharing my life inevitably looks like one I wouldn’t want to be with. A thought killer right there.

I don’t really know how to end this. This whole conversation has been working in my mind for a while and today it seemed like this was the day I finally needed to talk it out.

My journey from abuse to wellness has been decades long and I have to say I am now the healthiest I’ve ever been. I’m grateful. The truth has indeed set me free.

I’m understanding, on a minor level, the kind of abuse inflicted on me, I’ve made peace with the people involved even though they are no longer with us, and I’ve allowed enough difficult memories to surface to make understanding and healing possible.

I can also see the truth in the idea that rewiring by repetition of positive healthy experiences will change neural pathways. We can learn healthy new ways of being. That has been my prayer, that my thought patterns and reactions would be changed to a healthier version.

While I’m still baffled by my complicated thoughts and attitudes toward men, it’s something to realize that over the years (especially the teen years) many of my best friends were guys. It’s with thankfulness that I can agree that the abusive first decade of my life has been somewhat influenced and overwritten by the positive relationships of my free and healthy second decade, the teen years.

I guess I am a product of the good and the bad.

I’m grateful. Grateful for the good parts of life, grateful for the healing and understanding I have today.

I won’t lie though. The healing is not complete, it’s just markedly better. I’m still hiding away from men.

Somethings may never change lol

Enough of this, I’m off to rescue the dryer.

This and that June 20, 2022

Photo by Lukas on Pexels.com

It’s hard to think when it’s hot. Which means it’s not easy stringing words together for a coherent blog post. Thank goodness for air conditioning or it would be even worse. This is going to have to be one of those just start talking posts.

I can’t imagine that I have anything to say that anyone wants to hear. I feel like writing but that thought alone is enough to keep me from it. I think I will press ahead anyway. I’m curious to see what will come out of my mouth if I do. I can always delete it if it’s too terrible.

There are a couple of things I’m feeling excited about. We are planning a family camping trip in July, that is exciting. It has been a very long time since the last one. It will be a family reunion of sorts. We are widely scattered these days, some of us more than others, and this time together has been a long time coming, especially due to the events of the last two years.

The campground reservations are made and paid for and serious planning is underway to make sure we have enough equipment and food to keep everyone happy. The best thing about camping is, it is “days off” for the whole time. No work (job), no phone, no internet. It’s like hiding out from the world playing all day every day without feeling guilty.

There will be water and fishing, maybe swimming, although I’m sure the water will still be pretty cold. Definitely a boat. Time to sit and visit, read, soak up a few rays of sunshine. Informal meals around the campfire. wiener roasts, marshmallow roast and s’mores. (a hot melted marshmallow squished with a piece of chocolate bar between two cookies. Hot coffee and pancakes on a cool morning and hot chocolate around the campfire in the cool of the evening. And games, lots of games.

Our family has a long history of camping. We started before the kids were born and that was our holiday of choice every year until summer jobs got in the way. This year will be special because we are beginning to lose the next generation to jobs and summer jobs.

Life flies by at an alarming rate. One more reason to savor every moment we have together as a family.

I said I was excited about a couple of things. I’ll save the next thing for another time. I want to camp on this nostalgic thought spot for awhile.

Photo by Jens Mahnke on Pexels.com

If you have never tried camping you should. Especially if you can handle a simpler life. There is nothing like it to recharge the batteries.

I will admit, it is not a five star experience. But for those who don’t care about those kinds of stars, it is wonderful.

This and that May 05, 2022

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It has been a record breaking year. Before I get into that I have to say it has been another no book day. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

And I have to say it was a busy day. I work as an administrative contractor and everything is based on work load and billable hours. All of a sudden things are picking up. People are needing things done. And I couldn’t be happier. I’m probably more excited about the jobs coming in than I am about the record breaking.

This week is the 15th anniversary of my job. That’s longer than any other employment I’ve ever had. The last longest was 10 years and I thought that was amazing. It isn’t that I was a job hopper, it was just life getting in the way. Mind you I can’t say I minded moving on, mainly because there were life changes behind all of them and I am always up for an adventure. That was then and this is now though. I am more settled and I am in this job for the long haul.

And for the second record broken; this will be the 10th anniversary in this house. They say we are molded by the circumstances of our childhoods. By the time I was six we had lived in five difference houses. One of them was twice but to a young kid it was still a move and felt different, a strange place. Although my memories of those years are pretty sketchy and maybe my assumptions about all this are off base. However it was, a nomad existence seemes to be in my blood, which made all the adult moves feel like no big deal.

My oldest son does not share my love of adventure (aided by my lack of roots anywhere) and he has his feet firmly planted with no plans to leave, maybe ever. It’s funny how differently we react to things. Mind you, the other circumstances of our childhoods were as different as night and day. That was probably a bigger influence. Of the three he is most like me, which is why I can’t understand his dislike of travel.

I should have started this earlier, now I’ve run out of time.

Until next time, have a good night, or day

A whole lot of nothing April 21, 2022

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That’s what I have today, nothing earth shattering that’s for sure.

I’ve been working more hours lately. The exciting thing about all this is that we have started making progress on older projects that have been on the back burner, forever it seems. All of them for one reason or another. We are finally getting some things done and off the list, which is mood altering in a good way.

Of course, working on these projects means more time spent with clients. It has been awhile since we’ve had reason for more than a brief how-are-things email. I’m blessed with such a great bunch of people to work with. It is a pleasure to hear their voices again and spend time with them sorting things out.

Personal activities have suffered some in the last few weeks, with less attention coming their way. Not that they have been totally forgotten. I’m still reading, although live streamers and podcasts are cutting into book and blog times. Maybe that is partly because the river of life moves on and interests shift. That’s not a bad thing, it’s hard to keep moving and growing if we find ourselves stuck in one spot.

My daughter has branched out into a new area of interest. I’ve been the crafter in the family but it didn’t rub off on her, she’s never showed much interest until now. Some of her friends are crocheting baby outfits and blankets to be given to new mothers and she wants to be involved. It made my heart smile to get the call asking if I had crochet hooks and a ball of yarn she could practice with. Do I have hooks and yarn? Does the sun rise every morning? I am a collector of yarn and hooks. I’ll be excited to share a bunch with my grand daughter too, when she and her family visits soon. I sure haven’t been using it much and since my grand daughter has become quite the little crochet artist she is excited to have new supplies. She’s looking forward to making more memories together too. It all began for her at my house.

Family time over Easter was a special treat, like always. Although toward the end of the evening it was becoming a challenge to stay awake. With everyone bringing something for the meal there is always so much food. The teenagers were fine, it was the rest of us who couldn’t eat like we used to. The upside to all this food is that mom, or dad won’t be cooking for a few days and the teenagers will still be fed. Who is going to complain about that.

Well, for not having much to say this has gone on longer than expected. I don’t know about you but I always enjoy times like this spent with you.

So what kind of nothings are happening in your life? We would like to get to know you too. Leave a comment for us. Looking forward to it.

Night guys.

Today’s happenings April 10, 2022

Concert Stage

This clip is an experiment, hope it works, to give a sample of what is happening.

There is a big rally happening downtown Los Angeles today. They are still setting up and it looks like it is going to be big. Concerts, speakers, vendors, lots of people. At one point I heard someone say they are expecting a 50,000 strong turnout.

There are live streamers sharing this on You Tube and Rumble.

Currently I’m watching both Sasnak and Mud Pig Trucking on You Tube.

His name started from his habit of hauling to farmer’s fields and coming out with a truck covered in mud.

We won’t hear much about this in commercial media that’s for sure.

Check it out.