What to say…

I’m at a loss for words. After missing several days in my daily blog I need to find something to say. I’m feeling emotionally wrung out, maybe that’s why my mind is empty. I’ll just have to start and see what happens. It will surprise me as much as it will you, guaranteed. It’s funny how one thing leads to another and rabbit holes appear out of nowhere…

Today was the day for our monthly writers group Zoom call. Since I’m part of the executive there is always a feeling of self inflicted pressure to be a good participant not just a passive observer. As an introvert, fly-on-the-wall is where I would rather be. I was trying to be rested and relaxed ready for the camera but it wasn’t working out all that well for me. I started out stressed, like it or not.

Going into the week, I didn’t have an active part in the meeting. That all changed when the agenda came out and I found I was down for a book review. In the end we had more than enough readers (to share stories that would be critiqued) and there was no time for the my contribution. It didn’t get used but it was good writing practice, working on the review was not a total waste.

It’s funny how things happen sometimes. I had been thinking several days ago about my style of writing and the type of critique I would like to have. The thing is, I’m often not sure if what I have to say makes sense. Feedback would be helpful. I think I assume people know certain things already and tend to write in note form with little detail. My first clue I do this is when, days later, I read what I’ve written. Sometimes I have no idea what exactly I was getting at. So, going back to the most recent review I’d posted I found myself with a chance to work on making sense.

The review definitely needed to be reworked and expanded. It was a good exercise in figuring out how much extra detail needed to be included. I’ll try to do better the next time I write something like a review or thoughts (like now maybe.)

So, getting back to today’s Zoom meeting. It did the heart good to see everyone again even though we couldn’t be in the same room together. Five members read their stories, each one personal and unique.

They were all good but the one I appreciated most tore us all apart. It was a very raw and real sharing of a lengthy journey with parkinsons. What she has been through, and will continue to go through, is heartbreaking. Yet she has such a positive outlook on life. We could see it cost her dearly to be honest with us. We felt honored to be trusted enough for the privilege of hearing her story.

Today was a day we will not soon forget.

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I’m going to pick up a fast food hamburger and then the mail (it’s been several weeks and I need to get out.) When I come back I’ll see if this still makes sense to me.

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Well, I’ve made changes. I’m not sure it’s enough but time’s getting away on me. At least I’ve finished supper, washed the pile of dishes waiting for me and played a few games on the computer while I was thinking.

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Tomorrow is story prompt day. The word is Resolution. Guess I’m not done thinking for the night quite yet.

A favorite episode from a favorite podcaster

I just have to share this podcast episode. I love it, it makes so much sense.

Patrick Lencioni on How to Discover Your Working Genius

There are two reasons:

Carey Nieuwhof has a gift for asking insightful questions and then listening intently with great follow-up questions. It seems every interview ends with him saying this has been so good. And it has been, every time.

Today’s topic is about giftings in relation to work life. This is one of my favorite topics in the world and it has been for decades. Not just for work but life in general. The more I understand about myself and others the better life goes for me. Today focuses on work life and it makes so much sense.

If you want to know more, Patrick Lencioni has a website with testing material available and he is even offering a discounted price on orders resulting from this podcast. I’ll let him give you the details at the end of the podcast.

So here it is: I hope you find it as helpful and I did.

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Connection – what is it?

Two things are on my mind today.

It’s story prompt day and the word is Time. My last post talked about a New Years resolution which basically acknowledged it was Time for change. The definition for connection (in relation to my friendship resolution) has been on my mind recently so I’m going to combine the two thoughts. To quote a blogger friend ” it’s my blog and I can do what I like” so I guess he won’t complain about my unusual treatment of his prompt.

The whole concept of connection has been percolating in my mind and heart for decades. Through the years many marriage related books found their way into our home but the first solid memory of a discussion centered on connection was a radio program called Love, Sex, and Relationships, with pastors John and Helen Burns. They had many good, practical things to say but one phrase standing out above all the rest was into-me-see. Connection requires intimacy and intimacy in practical terms is defined as into-me-see. Eyes without shutters are crucial.

Our first thought of intimacy is physical in relation to a significant other. In reality it is not physical and applies to every type of relationship. If we’ve built walls of protection, generally speaking, they will apply to all of our relationships to one degree or another.

By John and Helen Burns (and many other’s) definition into-me-see only happens through the eyes, the windows of our souls, the keeper of our secrets. Without the eyes there is no connection. I do know this. I wish I didn’t. (with a good relationship I would also have known this and been glad I did.) Physical intimacy becomes intimate on a whole new level when the eyes meet and hold.

The good news is that varying degrees of connection can be found in varying types of relationships. This is encouraging since we are made for connection. We shrivel without having it on some level and since many of us remain single it’s nice to know friends and acquaintances can fill the void. That will be the challenge.

Friends is where we most often encounter walls still firmly in place. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately in my quest to leave my hermitage behind. Connection is difficult to find. Friendships on a superficial level are easy. I have a number of friends who are willing and even eager to hear the details of my broken life but, it’s a one way street with little-to-no reciprocation. There is a lack of satisfaction in these friendships and I’ve been mediating on why that is. I recognize deep hurts they aren’t willing to share. Is it the not sharing that bothers me most?

No. It seems I’m good with people not telling me their story. It’s the walls that are the problem. Up or down, there is a different vibe. Walls-down there is a softness with approachability, walls-up there is a harshness with keep out signs. It’s harshness I find myself most often responding to.

I can remember how hard it was to let people in. I can also remember what a freeing experience it was and continues to be. I’ve learned that lowering my walls doesn’t mean I have to tell all to everyone. I can use discretion. The important thing is, it may only be one person I tell but I’ve stopped keeping secrets.

I don’t think I’m all that different from anyone else. We all need connection. Many of us have walls we struggle to bring down. It is not easy to find a good friend.

My New Years resolution: it’s time to be proactive with maintaining neglected friendships and make myself available for new ones. It’s time to stop hiding. Covid and it’s restrictions have caused a deeper need for connection. It takes more work under these conditions to find it.

Only time will tell how well I do with my resolution and whether or not I’m successful at finding connection.

Speaking what’s on my mind.

This is another just start writing day. I’m short on books so I’ve got nothing. There is much going on in my head but it’s all a big jumble. Maybe I’ll just jump in and see where it takes us. I’m sure it will be a surprise, to me anyway. When is it not.

This whole conversation has been going on in my head for decades. The chatter has evolved with experience and I’ve changed with age and maturity. Maybe now, at least more often anyway, with new wisdom I’m able to act rather than react to circumstances and events.

Something I heard once (not sure where, probably a book I read) was a game changer for me. Look at what they do not what they say. If you want to know the truth look at what they do, I’ve found this to be totally true and freeing.

Another game changer for me was Never make decisions when you are emotional. Wait until you can think rationally.

Recently there was another new thought to add to the list. It’s had a huge impact on my thinking. (I forget from where but I think it was a podcast) As the truth of this new idea dawned on me everything changed.

All my life I’d heard we weren’t to judge people (especially with first impressions.) My mind always equated judgment with negativism (you know, all the negative assumptions we can make about people based on their appearance and the car they drive or the house they live in, etc.) and I was under the impression that everyone else thought much the same way. Then I heard we aren’t supposed to judge (make assumptions about someone) for bad or for good.

The thought was expanded to say that it’s just as wrong to make a good assumption about someone as it is to make a bad one.

It’s true. How many times have we assumed good things about people only to discover they weren’t the truth.

It can be a very bad thing to assume good things. Abusers, scammers, and con-artists know how to sell themselves to make us believe they are wonderful and trustworthy. They know how to sell us lies to rob us of our life and our life savings. If we are not on guard and we make false assumptions about goodness we can find ourselves in deep trouble.

Right now we have a rich tycoon in jail for his involvement in sex trafficking for well over several decades. He had most of us fooled and he bullied into silence those who did know the truth. He was not a safe place for many and he had the freedom to keep on abusing.

It seems to be easy to believe the best about bad people and at the same time lay blame and guilt on good people. Have you ever noticed that? I have never really figured out why this is but I’ve seen it happen over and over again. The dishonest seem to know how to work the system. They shout real loud and make crazy demands. They know how to smoke screen and deflect and it seems we fall for it every time. They make us feel like they are the injured party and we should apologize; and we do. This isn’t a new observation – seeing the guilty go free while the innocent are condemned.

These days there are so many people with emotional opinions and responses to a wide array of people and situations and I’m tired of hearing it. The way it’s going the emotional responses bounce back and forth so fast the emotional high never morphs into rational thought on either side of the issue. (Don’t worry, I do tune them out and stop listening. The on/off switch is a wonderful thing)

I would love to offer a challenge but I doubt they would ever take me up on it, mainly because, right or wrong, their minds are already made up. The worst of it is they have beliefs born out of incomplete or inaccurate information. Either there is no more information to be had or they haven’t bothered to research for themselves to see what the truth could be.

In most cases I find that rational minds have quieter voices. Even if they know the truth, and the truth is not good, they may speak out but they aren’t yelling. Unless it’s a pep rally, then they’re yelling

Maybe loud voices are born out of uncertainty and fear. Maybe they think if they yell real loud people will agree with them and it (whatever it is) will all be true.

I wish people would look at what is done and not what is said. I wish they would lay down their emotions and allow themselves to think rationally, without preconceived ideas of what the truth could be. And I wish they would leave assumptions and opinions behind on who is good and who isn’t.

There is safety in truth. How many times have we dodged a bullet by knowing the truth.

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Well, I’m not sure if this whole thing is coherent enough to make much sense but I’m feeling talked out for the moment. I think about this whole subject often, mainly because I’ve needed to figure things out to have peace and safety in my own life. Avoiding unhealthy relationships was certainly one of the reasons to think all of this through.

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Tomorrow is story prompt day and the prompt is – Dance.

I’ve been working on being ready.

It will be a surprise, I’m pretty sure.

Story prompt – Fire

The first thing to pop into my head at this week’s word was “fire in my bones”

There is a picture in my mind of what this means but to be certain I looked up the meaning.

Two expressions were first up.

A driving enthusiasm that compelled action.

intense feeling or passion.

There was a bible verse coming up often in this fire in my bones search too. It’s Jeremiah chapter 20 verse 9. Maybe that’s where I first heard the phrase. In relation to this verse. I don’t really know, but I do have strong memories of feeling this passion in my teens. I have to admit it’s never really left me.

There are two things about this impactful phrase that have followed me all my life.

A passion to make my life count for something. The picture this thought drew in my head did not include great exploits or high positions and wealth. It was simply to make a difference in someone’s life. This thought could have been born out of gratefulness for those who were there for me in my childhood’s time of greatest need. I’ve no idea really. I just remember as a teenager this passion was highly important to me.

The other thing was a recognition of the ongoing need for enthusiasm. Through the years it became very clear to me … to be successful I needed to be passionate about whatever I attempted. I’ve had jobs I liked and some I didn’t. Enthusiasm was a big part of any success I gained.

The other day a friend and I were discussing changes and new requirements that just seem to keep on coming, relentlessly. I laughed and said, I guess it’s a good thing I don’t hate this. A love for what I do keeps me going in the hard places.

I was looking for a picture to go with this fire in my bones thought and did see some I really liked but this one seemed to fit best with the whole thing I’m trying to do here.

It’s a book. What could be more appropriate than that on a blog like mine.

I’ve Got to Write!: It’s Like Fire Shut Up in My Bones!

Amazon quote:

STORIES THAT INSPIRE Jeremiah 20:9 (NIV) But if I will not mention his word or speak any more in his name,” his word is in my heart like a fire shut up in my bones. I’ve Got to Write! It’s Like Fire Shut Up in My Bones is a compilation of smoldering, heartfelt stories of love, compassion, faith, hope, forgiveness, and amazement inspired and told by members of the Chosen Pen Writers Group. For many of our authors, this is their first published work. Yet, the passion and resolve in bringing to light a story that was burning on their hearts can be found on the printed pages inside.

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I will admit I don’t have a fire in me to write. At least not in the most accepted sense of writing. My longing is to make a difference. I don’t feel compelled to be a writer.

Things pop into my mind that could be comforting or encouraging and I feel compelled to share them. I have to write to do that.

I feel compelled, in our world of non readers, to encourage others to become readers. To do this I share books I’ve found to be worth reading. I have to write, at least a little bit, to accomplish this.

This is the fire that keeps me posting often. To encourage.

Learning to write is a side effect of this activity.

It looks like it could be becoming a new passion though.

I guess that must be why I keep writing for this story prompt!

Newly emerging fire.

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Story Prompt is hosted by Confusing Middle’s – Sunday Scribblings

Story prompt – Misery

Story Prompt is hosted by Confusing Middle’s – Sunday Scribblings

Misery

I wanted to be sure I understood the definition of this word at the beginning of the process so I looked it up. I had some preconceived ideas happening and was headed in a certain direction with this story but with the proper definition in mind I’ve had to rethink some things. I will still end up in the same place though, because it’s a good place.

The general consensus seems to be that misery is an emotion stemming from overly wanting what you don’t have or overly NOT wanting what you DO have.

I don’t know that I would describe myself as miserable. My thinking was – it is what it is. Count your blessings, it could be worse.

I wasn’t happy for the above reasons. Wanting and not wanting. Life was complicated. At least my life was. There was nothing I could do to change any of it. The hopelessness of that reality made things harder to handle.

After a few decades of emotional decline (hopelessness will do that to you) it occurred to me that I needed to take a stand. Life could not go on as it was, changes were needed. I wasn’t sure how this conversation would go. Let’s just say things moved rather quickly and before I knew what was happening I was free of the situation.

One of the most difficult things, in those early years, was the passive aggressive nature behind the misery. I felt all alone, like no one noticed what was (or wasn’t) happening and I felt that if I talked no one would believe me anyway.

I still feel the same way, actually. I haven’t managed to clear the belief hurdle enough to talk about those years to any great extent. I’m working on it but it’s a slow process.

The good news is that there are small victories along the way and they are always a surprise.

The positive thing coming out of today’s exercise is encouraging and validating.

Back in the early days I thought no one noticed.

Today I realize I was wrong.

As I was putting this piece together in my head I was thinking about three nice gifts offered over the course of several years. Back then I looked at surface reasons for the gifts and while I was grateful, I can now see that I was missing the point.

Looking at the memory of those gifts (experiences) from today’s perspective I can see that they were designed to be helpful. Someone was paying attention and wanted to make a difference.

Here I thought no one noticed.

One emotion I am not feeling with this realization … misery.

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Further reflection (by the light of day) has me realizing many people could have known and yet no one said a word.

Embarrassment comes crashing in to replace relief that at least one someone knew.

Misery follows hard on the heels of embarrassment.

Denial won’t work, saying you are assuming too much, people didn’t know. A dozen or more years ago in a drug store, I ran into a man visiting in my new town. In the midst of catching up he admitted he knew, way back then.

I’ve come too far now in the healing process to let misery win. I can’t and I won’t.

Every hard thing faced has led me to a better place. Facing this new revelation will only help things along.

Besides, I don’t like misery well enough to wallow in it! So, there.

Story Prompt – Frontier

Sunday Scribblings initiator of these story prompts is hosted by peckapalooza – the Confusing Middle.

Frontier

This is something I think about often.

Mostly spurred on with my historical reading. But it’s also because, like many others, I’m interested in life, changes, and possibilities.

Historical novels love to use Settler and Wild West themes and there is no shortage of books written, old or new. about people rushing to conquer unexplored frontiers.

You would think we would run out of new things to say about this subject but apparently not. There is good reason for this, when I think about it. Research is so much easier in our digital world. As readers we’re happy about the endless supply because our thirst for adventure is still strong.

In the days of the settlers the land seemed to go on forever. Most journeys by wagon train took months of hardship. Now, with the invention of not only the automobile but planes and trains, our world has shrunk dramatically.

When we read historical novels, (or even when we don’t,) it’s easy to be envious. I don’t think we envy the hardships but we do envy the chance to explore and discover. There’s a temptation for us to look at our world and think what else is there?

Our ancestors thought that way too, in a way. They looked at life and expected it to keep going on like it was. I was reminded of this the other day while reading another historical novel. There was scoffing at the sight of the first automobiles. Staunch die-hards were convinced, and proclaimed loud and long, that the car would never survive. Horse and buggy is here to stay, they said.

Their minds would not be able to comprehend the changes in our world over the last forty years, never mind the last hundred. Just think, in the days of horse and buggy who could have imagined the technology we now take for granted.

Just like them, it’s easy for us to think we’ve arrived. The world has been explored, the mountains have all been climbed. What can we do that hasn’t already been done.

We haven’t arrived, not by a long shot. Our civilization is on a roll. A fast roll. Ten years from now take stock. The world will be a much different place. There is so much more to be done.

And, I’m still waiting on a replicator like the one Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Star Trek USS Enterprise enjoyed. A cup of tea and a turkey sandwich please.

There are still frontiers to be explored and conquered, folks.

Dream big. I am.

Life is not over. There are places to go and bigger and better things to be done.

If life is unfulfilling and you need a dream and a challenge, look around, take stock, and be a pioneer on the frontier that is our world.

Bargain books for October 24, 2020

BookRunes has a thought provoking suggestion for us.

The Garden at the Edge of Beyond (The Beyond Trilogy Book 1)

Amazon quote:

Enter into regions beyond the human imagination, worlds filled with surprise and discovery, fresh hope and infinite love.

A man lies down for a normal night of sleep and inexplicably awakens to find himself in a surreal garden bursting with fantastic aromas and colors.

A succession of “tour guides” come and go, helping him to interpret the landscape’s fragrant messages, each one a clue on the journey to discover his true self, and, ultimately, the Creator of the Country Beyond.

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The Amazon suggestion strip mentioned book 3

Hell and Beyond (The Beyond Trilogy Book 3) 

Amazon quote:

A lively and fascinating trip through the afterlife—one that will inspire you to rediscover the significance of your life here and now.

A prominent atheist dies unexpectedly and goes to hell. Or so it appears, but nothing is what it seems.

“Michael Phillips has done the impossible—written a thriller on hell…” – C. Baxter Kruger, author of The Shack Revisited

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Interesting:

Book 1 and 3 showed up easily, there must be book 2.

There is. I found it on pre-order.

And so is book 3 on pre-order – now that I take a closer look.

All three are bargains and the last two will be out by the middle of next month, that’s not too long to wait.

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Heaven and Beyond (The Beyond Trilogy Book 2) 

Amazon quote:

Best-selling author Michael Phillips has produced a riveting tale of eternity.

The victim of a terrorist attack on Easter Sunday travels in realms of heaven and earth, finding his notions of both to be turned upside down.

“Phillips has offered a breathtaking and important addition to the world of traditional theological allegory, joining Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress and C.S. Lewis’ Pilgrim’s Regress . . . It is beautiful beyond describing and stunning in its impact.” —William Paul Young, author of The Shack

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I’m planning to read all three of these.

I want to hear what he has to say for several reasons.

The beginning of life, heaven, and hell, are not easy topics to write about. Turning any of these subjects into a fiction story is an even bigger challenge, in my opinion.

As well, Michael Phillips has shown up on my reading list many times through the decades. I respect his writing and his knowledge. I even hold his opinions with respect.

I’m looking forward to hearing what he has to say.

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I’m currently in between so this is the perfect time to start with book 1.

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Somehow I feel like there is more to be said yet today but I don’t know what.

Maybe more books will show up and that will be reason for another post. You just never know,

Life can be full of surprises sometimes.

In the meantime…

Happy Reading!

Free and bargain books October 20, 2020

BookRunes has a FREE Christmas suggestion by an author I’ve never read. I always (or mostly always) read the first few pages just to get an idea of what I’m in for. Sometimes I get the wrong idea but more often than not it turns out well and I’m left feeling glad about saying yes.

All that to say, I’m taking a chance on both of these books, just for starters. I say that because if I say only two then something else will be sure to show up before we’re done and I’ll be a liar and have to change this paragraph.

A Wish for Christmas (The Happy Holidays Series Book 3)

Amazon quote:

Heat Level: Low
Laugh Level: High

More than anything, India Ramone wants to give her daughter, her younger brother, and her elderly grandfather a Christmas they deserve. After the death of her mother, the last two years have been rough and money is tight. A full-time nursing student, she feels her prayers have been answered with the temporary job of personal assistant to John Laurencelli. The billionaire is rumored to be demanding and difficult but India soon realizes there’s more to him than bad press and weapons-grade dangerous good looks. But with everything on her plate, she doesn’t have time to be falling for her new boss.

John Laurencelli lives, eats, and breathes his business and making money. For his own reasons, he’s avoided Christmas for two decades. But it’s proving difficult this year when his new assistant wears vintage holiday aprons, hums Christmas tunes, and likes to spread good cheer. Despite his determination not to celebrate the season, it isn’t long before India opens his eyes to what’s missing in his life.

Can they overcome their fears and misgivings to make it a truly wonderful Christmas for each other?

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This next one comes via BookBub, it’s a bargain and a complete change of pace. The first was lighthearted. This one is not. But it does come highly recommended. I think I may have read this author once before but I’m not really sure.

Someone to Blame 

Amazon quote:

When a stranger wanders into a small coastal town, crimes suddenly multiply. Everyone is eager to find someone to blame . . .

In the wake of heartrending family tragedies, Matt and Irene Moore move with their fourteen-year-old daughter, Casey, to a small town. Their goal is to get far away from the daily reminders that leave each of them raw and guilt-ridden. Their hope is to find redemption, repair, and renewal. Instead, the threads that hold them together unravel even more. Breakers, a small community perched on the rocky coast of the Pacific Northwest, is draped with cold isolation that seems to mirror the hearts.

For the Moore family, blame is personal, harsh, and merciless … as their lives become entangled with this drifter and they have to face the truths they desperately want to hide from.

As they settle into their new life, old grief settles with them. Matt is always on edge and easily angered, Irene is sad and pensive, and Casey is confused and defiant. They’ve once more set the stage for calamity. Into this mix comes Billy Thurber, a young drifter with his own conflicts, whose life unexpectedly entangles with the Moores’. His arrival in Breakers parallels a rash of hateful and senseless crimes, and soon the whole town – eager for someone to blame – goes after Thurber with murderous intent.

Out of this dangerous chaos, however, the Moores find unexpected grace and healing in a most unlikely way. Author C. S. Lakin explores our need to assign reason and fix blame for the pain and grief in our lives. Though the circumstances are fictional, the emotions are real and universal, making Someone to Blame a great and inspiring read.

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Yesterday This Quiet Sky was one of our downloads and I said it would be next in line on my reading list – if I still remembered by the time I got to it.

I did get to it before I forgot. I made a special point of it

It wasn’t a long read. And I loved every minute of it, even though tissues were needed often. The author is amazing with this heart wrenching story. Her telling is so beautiful even while it makes you cry.

I would urge you to read it, it is worth every one of the five stars I gave it. A story that will touch you on such a deep and profound level does not come along very often.

This Quiet Sky

Amazon quote:

There is nothing extraordinary about Tucker O’Shay’s dreams.
Go to college. Become president. Fall in love.
And pretend like he has enough time to get it all done.

Sixteen-year-old Sarah Miller doesn’t expect anything out of the ordinary when she begins her first day at the one-room-school house in her new hometown of Rocky Knob. But when she meets seventeen-year-old Tucker O’Shay—the boy with the fatal illness who volunteers to tutor her in algebra—she finds herself swept up in a friendship that changes the way she sees the world and a love that changes her life.

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I would tell you what I’m reading now except it feels wrong to change the mood. I want to feel the memory of This Quiet Sky a little while longer.

Next time.

This is a blog about books but …

This blog is about books, fiction books mostly, regular stories, nothing too heavy. Except for every now and then. Today’s featured book is a heavy topic and is to be read with caution. The authors stress this in the interview.

I’ve read many heavy topic books but don’t always share them, or if I do I do it quietly. This one I think should be shared a little more openly. I’m sure there is someone out there who needs to read it.

I’m including the link to an hour long interview podcast introducing you to this book and it’s authors. I found it very helpful to have background information before I read the book.

Mark Lowry has a way of asking insightful questions, keeping the interview moving along. The hour doesn’t drag or feel like it’s too long.

Brad Jersak pastored a small community church, meeting in the gym of my teenagers school a few decades ago when we lived in Abbotsford BC. I’ve never met him in person but knew of him. Over the years I’ve seen other interviews with him as he’s written a number of books.

Paul Young is author of one of my favorite books The Shack. I’ve followed him through the years as well.

Brad and Paul are friends and collaborated to produce The Pastor: A Crisis

This story is purely fiction and it’s been written to bring hope and healing to a desperate place where there’s little hope. With this type of subject it would be wrong to tell true stories.

The Pastor: A Crisis 

A weary fundamentalist pastor is stuck in a psychiatric ward, staring into the abyss of his own secret shame. Before he can be free, he must confront his demons and find Grace. But will he let go? Will he allow himself to be healed?

The Pastor explores the perilous human journey from self-will and striving through defeat and despair to hope and the redemption found only through surrender.

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This book resonates with me, the adult child of an alcoholic sex addict.

I have my own personal journey with denial and triggers. Recognizing and acknowledging the event behind my trigger and facing it head on has taken the steam out. It’s been a healing experience though not an easy one.

I can relate to this book in a limited way because it was written for men. To me it feels like reading a foreign language where I only know a few words. It doesn’t matter if I get it as long as men do.

If you feel drawn to this book I hope you will read it and begin a journey to find healing.

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I’ve forgiven my father and I’m working on forgiving you too. I can’t honestly ask you to read this book and heal if I’m unwilling to forgive.

More importantly: There’s nothing God can’t forgive if you truly want it.

It seems we have to soundly hit bottom before we are ready for surrender.

I’m praying that if you need to read this book you will.

God’s forgiveness and healing is amazing.