A Podcast and a book January 12, 2022

Twice, back to back. I couldn’t help but watch it again. Donald Miller has an awesome way of expressing himself. It makes you want to hear more. That’s why I went for the second listen. After that it was time to check out his many popular books.

Books were discussed in the podcast but the overriding theme (I felt) was his current business. He coaches entrepreneurs needing help to improve and grow their business. In the course of the conversation he handed out great tips. It was worth listening just for that.

His latest book is Business Made Simple. His second last book is Hero on a Mission: a Path to a Meaningful Life. They both looked interesting but the book conversation that intrigued me most was a book called Blue Like Jazz. That’s the one I ended up with and I’m excited to read it.

Here are the three books

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This is tonight’s podcast. Donald Miller is a fascinating and relatable man. He is down-to-earth, real, with a gift for clear communication.

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I had to share. I hope you find this as fascinating as I did.

Mark, Buddy, and the Book of Common Prayer January 10, 2022

Two of my favorite singers are having a deep conversation about today`s scripture reading in the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer. At least it starts out that way and then it evolves into so much more.

While I was listening to them live I added a couple of videos here to introduce you to Buddy and his amazing talent. Who knew he would sing the same song live. Now you get to see him perform in two different settings.

Introduction to Buddy

One of his songs

I love today`s podcast, I hope it blesses you as much as it does me.

They will be doing this again and I plan to share them all.

Current read and two new interesting books January 09, 2022

Last week I mentioned a book written by a psychotherapist interviewed on a podcast I came across. I think I shared it here, I need to check that out to be sure. Anyway, I’m reading her book and it is like taking medicine mixed with delicious honey. The authors aim was to provide help to those of us who might not be inclined (for whatever reason) to visit a therapist but dish it up as a story to make sure we would read it. I have to say she is doing a masterful job. I’m almost finished the first third of the book and it is not easy to put down.

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER!

Now being developed as a television series with Eva Longoria and ABC!

“Rarely have I read a book that challenged me to see myself in an entirely new light, and was at the same time laugh-out-loud funny and utterly absorbing.”—Katie Couric

“This is a daring, delightful, and transformative book.”—Arianna Huffington, Founder, Huffington Post and Founder & CEO, Thrive Global

“Wise, warm, smart, and funny. You must read this book.”—Susan Cain, New York Times best-selling author of Quiet

From a New York Times best-selling author, psychotherapist, and national advice columnist, a hilarious, thought-provoking, and surprising new book that takes us behind the scenes of a therapist’s world—where her patients are looking for answers (and so is she).

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Last week I shared a new book written by a member of our monthly writer’s group. I’m going to share it again along with the new book of a second member of our group. I do own both books and haven’t gotten to them yet but I’m excited about the prospect. We have been exposed regularly to the excellent writings of these gentlemen and they are well worth reading.

They have different styles, unique imaginations and they leave us wanting more.

Fire and Iron: Stories of Fidelity, Infidelity and Daring Commitment

Broken promises, ulterior motives, revenge and deceit; Ten stories detailing relationships some broken, and some redemptive, all recognizing human frailty.

Short stories for adults with stories for men, women, and youth including short love stories that make you cry.

Each story is followed by book club discussion questions to prompt reflection of the story and personal experiences. This short story collection is both suitable for the Christian book club and general adult book clubs.

Inspirational short stories of relationships.
Excerpts from the stories:
She attempted to grasp his hand, their fingers touched, but then his hand was gone. (Fire and Iron)

Emma reached out to collect her books. She hesitated when she saw Keara crouching in front as if to help. To her dismay, Keara only whispered, “You know you’re not my friend anymore.” (The River)

Rand Gavell’s moral fiber is put to the test. His injured wife lies comatose in a care home while an attractive, single real-estate agent suggests an alternative lifestyle. (A Touch of Salt)

The title, Fire and Iron, suggests the stories are of individuals tempered by the fires of hurt, strengthened by the pain and helped by the kindness of another.

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Stealth by Robert Stermscheg

1944. American bomber pilot, Jack Swaggart, has led his squadron countless times into hostile German territory, hit the assigned target, and returned to base none the worse for wear.

Eventually, Jack’s luck runs out. With his B-26 Marauder heavily damaged by flak, Jack is forced to ditch his crippled airplane in the German countryside.

Separated from his crew, Jack trusts an unlikely ally, Hilde Augsburg, a plucky young woman, a decision with icy catapults them into an adventure neither could have envisioned. Coincidentally, they spot a new type of German warplane in flight–a design unlike anything they’ve ever seen before.

In that moment, Jack realizes that the Nazis have developed a formidable new bomber, one that could dramatically alter the course of the war. In the blink of an eye, Jack’s mission shifts from survival to thwarting the Germans, just when the Allies are on the verge of triumph.

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All three of these authors are well worth the read. I think you will enjoy them as much as I do.

Happy Reading!

A watched and enjoyed podcast January 08, 2022

This man may not be your cup of tea but I loved this interview and want to watch it again soon. Rick Warren has been the founding pastor of a mega church in southern California for forty-two years. He is an author of many books but probably his most well known book is The Purpose Driven Church.

The reason this interview struck a chord with me was his heart. He acknowledges his accomplishments with a humble spirit. He has his head on straight about many things and has a high quotient in emotional maturity. There are so many positive things to be said about his leadership and the interview demonstrates many of those characteristics for us.

If you are interested in someone like this I know you will enjoy this interview. The other cool thing about it is the very beginning where we are introduced to an amazing library museum. He is an avid collector and has made it into Guinness World Book of Records several times. His museum is amazing and worth the look even if you don’t watch the rest of the interview.

Rick Warren has tendered his resignation at Saddleback Church, he plans to retire and pass leadership off to someone else. The retirement discussion is part of the interview. It will be interesting to see what he tackles next.

Carey Nieuwhof has a gift for asking good questions and drawing interesting relatable content out of his guests.

I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

Why relationships fail and what to do about it. January 04, 2022

Do you ever wonder if as a traumatized person you could break the dysfunctional cycle and connect with a healthy person. I’ve wondered, many times.

I found this podcast had so much hope and inspiration to share. There was a wealth of helpful information and advice on how to become a healthier person, equipped to recognize old patterns and ways to avoid them.

Pitfalls in partnering with a healthy person were also addressed. We gravitate to the familiar. To the abused and traumatized, dysfunctional is familiar. Healthy is not. It would be easy to reject the unfamiliar to our own detriment.

Psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb has written a popular book called Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.

I am teetering on the brink of buying her book.

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose of­fice she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
 
As Gottlieb explores the inner chambers of her patients’ lives — a self-absorbed Hollywood producer, a young newlywed diagnosed with a terminal illness, a senior citizen threatening to end her life on her birthday if nothing gets better, and a twenty-something who can’t stop hooking up with the wrong guys — she finds that the questions they are struggling with are the very ones she is now bringing to Wendell.
 
With startling wisdom and humor, Gottlieb invites us into her world as both clinician and patient, examining the truths and fictions we tell ourselves and others as we teeter on the tightrope between love and desire, meaning and mortality, guilt and redemption, terror and courage, hope and change.
 
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is rev­olutionary in its candor, offering a deeply per­sonal yet universal tour of our hearts and minds and providing the rarest of gifts: a boldly reveal­ing portrait of what it means to be human, and a disarmingly funny and illuminating account of our own mysterious lives and our power to transform them.

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For me, another take-away from the podcast was an unexpected point of view on narcissism.

I’ve decided on the book. I’m going to enjoy it if it’s anything like the podcast and I think it will be.

Happy Viewing and Reading

A little this and that December 10, 2021

Short and sweet. That’s what this is going to be. One hour until the midnight deadline.

Have you ever wondered if there are any positive values in reading romance stories? Aside from the entertainment value?

I can’t say that I’ve ever considered it but the question unexpectedly popped into my head this week. I am still surprised at the answer that slipped in along with it.

Before I let you in on the answer, it will make more sense if I remind you of my abusive history with men. Rather an understatement but we won’t go into details. Too depressing.

Often I’ve considered my situation compared to the things I’m reading. There are no men in my life, I don’t expect there ever will be. Why would I bother with romance. Truthfully, as I consider all the thought patterns I’ve had in relation to this consideration in the last while– I am over thinking, again. Quit it.

The new question, though, about value in these stories has introduced a good reason to keep reading them.

Spending time with positive role model characters has had a positive effect on my attitude toward men. The upbeat reads keep reminding me there are good men out there. They are not all selfish and abusive.

I’m realizing a regular diet of such stories has had a big part to play in keeping my heart soft and open.

It would be easy to become hard and bitter, especially if most of my time was spent living in my own negative thought patterns.

I think these books have also contributed to an upbeat and hopeful outlook.

It’s true what they say. Stories can impact and influence our lives in more ways than we can imagine.

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A quick close.

This a has been a good week, reading wise. I’ve been able to stick with it and work my way through a number of collections. Several of them started out with tales I loved and could not drag myself away from.

I’ll leave you will several of them (not all collections but still, read and enjoyed).

Happy Reading

Notes on Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt Nov 20, 2021

Continuing on from where we left off last time. A few more relevant quotes.

Self condemnation: page 84

When we let lies overrule love, it affects those around us. We tend to take out our frustrations, lack of self-worth, shame or guilt on those we love. We cannot possibly love like we’ve never been hurt if we do not love ourselves.

another very important quote, same page:

If you struggle with shame, you may have trouble extending grace to others. If you struggle with finding self-worth, you may find it difficult to trust those around you.

Page 88:

We wear all sorts of things that keep us in bondage. Shame. Condemnation. Brokenness. Fear. Anxiety. Anger. Unforgiveness.

We are living in a mental cage. Page 89

Imprisoned with painful memories, with failures from the past, with self-sabotaging thoughts, with fear of an uncertain future.

Page 90:

When you start believing the lies about who you are, you begin to destroy your destiny.

How to change the channel?

That will be tomorrow’s topic.

These quotes are not the whole story, we need to read the book to see the full picture.

Well, I’m reading the book. I’m sure you will find it helpful too.

Bargain books November 19, 2021

Two suggestions today, from BookBub and 1531 Entertainment.

The first one is mystery and the second historical romance.

Collision of Lies 

Three years ago, a collision between a fast-moving freight train and a school bus full of kids led to devastation and grief on an unimaginable scale. But a fresh clue leads San Antonio police detective Amara Alvarez to the unlikely conclusion that one of the children may still be alive. If she’s correct, everything law enforcement believes about the accident is a lie.

With time running out, Amara must convince others–and herself–that despite all evidence to the contrary, the boy lives. And she will do everything in her power to bring him home.

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To Discover Her Heart’s Longing: A Historical Western Romance Book 

Amy Richardson never imagined that staying at the orphanage she called home would put her at such risk. When she realizes that someone from her past isn’t ready to let her go, her future suddenly becomes uncertain. Forced to flee west in hopes of starting over, little does she know that things are about to get even more complicated. Arriving in a new town to meet her husband-to-be, she is shocked to find that he has no idea of her existence…

Will Amy ever find the safety she longs for in this new place?

After his father’s death, Peter McKelvey never intended to get married. So when his mother shows up with Amy as a mail-order bride arranged on his behalf, he is stunned. Seeing Amy’s dismay at his reaction though, he can’t bring himself to turn her away and hires her as a cook on his ranch. Yet as he begins to realize that she could be in very real danger, keeping his distance from Amy may not be possible if he wants to keep her safe…

Will Peter allow himself to care for Amy and even open up his heart to love?

With an unexpected bond between Peter and Amy growing, so do the challenges that face them. As they try to deal with the threats coming their way, Amy is still keeping secrets… Will Peter and Amy manage to trust each other and their budding feelings? Or will they lose everything to ghosts from the past?

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It has been a bit of a mixed up day. In many ways upsetting.

It seems like difficult situations stir things up in a way that we are forced to see elements of our life in a new light.

It’s easy to think I’ve made a lot of progress in my abusive healing journey and it’s a major shock when unexpected triggers happen.

I don’t pretend to be rational when that happens. I know I am a pro at knee jerk reactions.

It’s hard to know for sure what is reflex and what is me standing up for myself.

The trouble is it’s likely some of both.

The beauty of living alone in isolation is the absence of triggers. Social situations are a minefield especially when the interaction is between badly wounded souls. We understand better than most but we also trigger each other.

The desire to walk away is very real.

I’m sure you can guess my choice.

Now I’m thinking through the event trying to see how I can learn from it and do better in the future.

I would say other than that it’s been a good day but I can’t. It hasn’t been the worst day of my life but…

I’m gonna go finish my book. Drown my sorrows.

It’s the weekend, that’s encouraging.

Notes on Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt Nov 18, 2021

This experience, reading through this book, has been beneficial.

Right off the hop, we have the first quote and there’s no disputing the truth of it.

Page 71: Forgiveness holds the key to freedom, to healing, to wholeness.

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Page 75: – Forgiveness does not mean you forget what happened.

Page 76: – Forgiveness does not release the offender from consequences.

Page 77: – Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation.

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Page 79: Forgiveness is a decision. Choose to forgive.

Practical steps to allow forgiveness to happen.

Open your heart. Extend compassion. But most importantly…

Release the person from the prison you put them in inside your heart.

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The final quote is a useful admonition. Bottom of Page 79

Do not run away from forgiveness. Run to forgiveness. It is a great friend. If you choose to forgive, your heart will heal.

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I’ve noticed several common qualities in those of us struggling to forgive.

We build protective walls. Massive protective walls.

We are imprisoned with our words. (I will never, I can’t…)

We imprison our offenders in our hearts. As long as they dwell locked up inside of us we can never forgive.

Letting them out of our prison doesn’t do anything to free them but it surely does something to free us.

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Enjoy the book.

Grasp and enjoy freedom.

Notes on Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt Nov 17/21

Installment # 2

I wish I could quote large chunks to help make sense of these quotes. Just know that in context this becomes much clearer. I’m sure your mind can come up with the appropriate scenario and enlargement for each one of them.

Page 35: If you have been hurt by someone — if you been betrayed, abused, abandoned, gossiped about, whatever — there comes a time when you have to pull yourself from the pain of that situation and say, “Enough is enough”

Reliving the memory and hanging on to the pain is counter productive.

Page 37: God wants to heal you from your wounds, but first you have to let Him.

And before you let Him, you have to admit to your brokenness.

Page 71: I have noticed that when people struggle with unforgiveness, it shows. This is an absolute: Hold on to a grievance or hate as if your life depended on it, and I will show you emotional, spiritual and even physical decay.

Research shows people who dwell on an offense regularly tend to have high blood pressure and increased muscle tension.

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You’ve probably noticed the spread between the second and third quotes. Basically the discussion in the in-between pages was focused on forgiveness. I think the final quote sums it all up quite nicely.

As a teen and young adult I was offended when the current doctor offered an opinion that my digestive issues were psychosomatic. I was offended each time. I thought they were telling me it was all in my head. I was imagining things. 

I was relieved years later, when I realized what they were really telling me was that my physical distress was being caused by my emotional anxiety. It was all very real, there just was not a physical reason behind it.

I think most of us are so caught up in our emotional pain that we barely notice what’s happening to our bodies. Sometimes our body has to yell to catch our attention. Sometimes that yelling is a major wake-up call and we are left wishing we had noticed sooner.

Jentezen Franklin is trying to encourage us to pay attention, he is hoping to provide useful tools for needed changes.

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I’m working on paying attention. I hope you are too.

More to follow.

Check out the book for more insights.