Read and enjoyed Feb 7, 2020

This is a slow day for book suggestions but we have a few more read-and-enjoyed to share.

Legacy Restored is my 5***** favorite today. It is book 2 in The Legacy series. Book 3 Legacy Reclaimed is scheduled to be released February 11, 2020.  Legacy Rejected is book 1.

Legacy RejectedLegacy RestoredLegacy Reclaimed

Romantic Suspense –  Book 2 is currently $0.99 while the other two are $2.99 each. I’ve only read book two and would love to read the others.

Book one:

All she wants is a home, but there is no safe haven when mobsters are after you.

Book two:

She’s a reformed thief working to take down a murderer. He’s a grieving man who refuses to let another woman die needlessly. When their desires clash, will it lead to hostility… or fireworks?

Book three:

She’ll risk anything to save the company her parents built. He’ll risk anything to save her. Someone will stop at nothing to make sure they both fail. 

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This next book – Deliverance: Lydia’s Story – is a fictional story about a broken family dealing with drug abuse, loss, hope and restoration.

Deliverance

Amazon quote:

Lydia Blankenship and her husband, Jim, lost their own little girl years ago to a medical mishap. It took Lydia nearly thirty years to stop hating the nurse who administered the wrong medicine. Now, she and Jim are once again in parental bliss as the legal guardians for Lydia’s charming five-year-old grandniece, Gracie. The girl’s mother, however—recently released from prison for drug-related theft—plots to kidnap the little girl and run.

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Heart’s Design was a pleasant surprise too. It can be read free with Kindle Unlimited

Heart's Design

Life as a big city lawyer is not her heart’s desire. It is the plan of her heavy handed barrister father. He expects all three of his offspring to become part of the family business.

On a summer hiking trip with her city-girl friends, they cross paths with a small town mineralogist and college professor. Spending time with him she finds he hears and understands. It’s a new experience, to be heard, and she’s beginning to see life in a different light. Maybe she could stand up to her father and follow her heart.

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Blackbird (Amish Mountain Secrets book 2) free to read on Kindle Unlimited

Blackbird

Women are dying again, found in conspicuous places with a dead blackbird placed beside the body. The man committing the murders ten years ago perished with a fall in a fast flowing river. These new murders look just like his but how could that be.

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Maybe tomorrow will be a better day for new book offerings. In the meantime…

Happy Reading.

Romance

The recent death of my Kindle slowed me down, (read the story here  (Happy New Year ) , but  now I’m back in business with the arrival of the new and improved version.

The upside to technology is; improvements. The downside is ….  improvements – nothing is ever the same, and I’m sad.

It looks like having to adjust to new layouts may help  unearth long forgotten unread books, of which there are many. This may even inspire the reorganization of all 2500 downloads. Cull the herd, so to speak.

Who would have thought it possible to find so many suggestions tempting me to click the download button.

I have to admit, I didn’t love all of the downloaded books when I got right into them. Then I felt bad rejecting them because it occurred to me that others may find them  interesting even if I didn’t. Conflicted emotions only lasted a short while and I moved on.

We all have different tastes and that is as it should be.

I’m hoping you are finding ways to discover books you can get excited about.

Now, on to some of the latest books read.

I liked all of these books well enough to talk about them but the first one was my favorite. I’d like to read the sequel if there is one.

I think I’ll stick to Romance in this post and save Mystery for the next one, change things up a bit from the usual mix.

just the way you are  A Pleasant Gap Romance – Just the Way You Are book 1 – Pepper Basham….. How embarrassing, the contents of her purse are spread across the airport floor because someone bumped her from behind. And, as if that isn’t bad enough, her heel caught in her purse strap and now she’s landed on top of someone. Her mortification is complete – she has squished  a silver haired grandpa.

As she helps him up it’s obvious he is injured, and when he recognizes her as the guest  he was sent to meet, she feels even worse. With a twinkle in his eyes, he assures her it will all be fine but please don’t mention this to his son when he picks them up.

The glare was the first hint about the reason for the strange request. His devastatingly handsome son is clearly unhappy with her visit.

Be that as it may, she has promised her uncle she will research family secrets for his upcoming book and she intends to keep that promise. No matter what kind of disapproval she faces in this handsome but glacial man.

The question is: why is he so upset by her presence? What is there about her that makes him feel so threatened? Does he have his own secrets? Are they tangled up with the secrets her family has been protecting all these years? She plans to find out, one way or the other.

all this love  Seven Brides  Seven Brothers Pelican Bay – All This Love book 3 – Belle Calhoune …..  The Donahue brothers of Pelican Bay are cousins to the Donahue brothers in the popular Cape Code Series. (This distinction is important if you are like me and on first glance you’re thinking wait a minute……)

Most of the brothers in the Donahue family were adopted.  (A miracle in Heath’s life – after the untimely death of his single parent mother.) They are a tight knit, fiercely protective family and they would do anything necessary to be there for each other. If they knew what needed to be done.

Heath has been keeping secrets, he’s come home from Afghanistan with deep wounds of the unseen variety, added to that, the trauma of coming home from school to discover his mother in her  untimely death. Now he is barely hanging on emotionally and no one knows.

Deciding it would be kinder to sever the connection with the love of his life, to spare her  the effects of the darkness in his life, he breaks up with her and walks away. Leaving her confused and devastated.

Five months of intense work with a therapist has made a difference. Now he’s beginning to second guess the break up decision and needs to see Bella, hoping to re-establish their relationship.

He’s devastated to discover she’s pregnant, and he didn’t even know, you’d think in a town this size he would have heard rumors. He wants to do the right thing and be there for her but it’s not going well …. she’s unwilling to let him back into her life just like that.

Secrets are a huge problem… so, how far is he willing to go to fix things?

the only best place   Holmes Crossing – The Only Best Place book 1 – Carolyne Aarsen ….. Her husband’s business has failed and their marriage is in trouble, her husband has admitted to having an emotional affair with a co- worker. He says it’s over but she doesn’t trust him. They have grown so far apart it doesn’t seem like there is anything left to work with anymore.

It’s decided that the only alternative they have to stay afloat financially is to move back to Dan’s home town. Leslie is reluctant because she knows very little about his life before they met, and she’s a city girl – what does she know abut farming?

The surprises are huge and daunting. Leslie had no idea God was a big part of family life for him growing up. Not only is she not a farmer, she does not fit the description of a suitable mate for their son and brother.

Dan promised they would stay a year and move back to the city.  Under his family’s influence, she finds he has already gone back on that promise. He has even started making other major decisions about their life and finances without consulting her.

Leslie wants to fit in and gain the family’s approval but it seems like a losing battle.

In despair with no one to talk to, she runs into the most unusual woman at an auction sale. She seems to be a free spirit, totally out of place in this farming community, and yet for some inexplicable reason she seems to fit in. The connection between them is instant and Leslie intends to get to know her better, Maybe her new friend will be able to help her navigate life in this uncomfortable place.

secrets and sacrifice  The Shadows Series – Secrets and Sacrifice book 4 – Juliette Duncan …. Grace is in the middle of closing arguments in a high powered case when her brother Caleb slips into the court room, sending worry into her heart. What’s happened, why is he here?

It’s their sister, she’s been found, in a run down apartment barely alive. She’s in hospital with an overdose and they all need to be there.

Brianna promised to stay clean this time but obviously hasn’t. Drugs was always her go-to place when she couldn’t handle the voices from the past. With Grace it was work. She would bury herself in it to still the voices. She wasn’t destroying her body but she was destroying her relationship with her sister, never there for her when she was needed most.

Determined to be there for her this time, Grace decides to take her sister home with her. Brianna is not comfortable in the posh surroundings and it turns out to be a bigger challenge than expected to make it work. At a loss she think’s maybe a trip with a change of scenery would work better. A plan like this would mean a leave of absence from the District Attorney’s Office. Could she do it? This job is her whole life and she’s worked very hard to get this far.

Her brother Daniel runs a successful recovery program and, with a trip in mind, Caleb is pressuring her to make use of Daniel’s offer to help. Grace is not interested, she has nothing but disapproval for his methods.

It isn’t until she runs out of options coping with Brianna that she gives up and heads in Daniel’s direction.

Now she has another dilemma in her life. Niall, the prosecutor back home is an old flame trying to rekindle the relationship. The complication is the good looking teacher, part of Daniel’s staff, who makes her heart race and her cheeks blush.

Brianna seems to be fitting in well but where does this leave Grace? Go back to her job and Niall or stay here to build a connection with family and explore the possibility of Ryan?


Happy Reading!!

 

Send Down The Rain

Send Down the Rain   Send Down The Rain – Charles Martin

Charles Martin’s newest book.

Life for Bobby and Joseph was never the same after their father left with another woman. Damage was so severe that it sent them on downward spirals, lasting decades. Their  single mother did her best to provide for them, but the threat of draft was  something beyond her control. It felt like an automatic death sentence, for both of them. For her, the thought was unbearable. Although he was younger, Joseph was able to cope in ways his brother never was. The day Bobby’s draft notice arrived, Joseph was the  son his mother sought out.

I have to tell you, this tale is as gripping as all his others, and once started it’s impossible to stop – without good reason.

The good reason, this time, was Thanksgiving dinner with the family. I was able to work around my obligations, be fully present for family time, and still steal enough moments to finish this book.

There is so much to see and hear in these stories, making it impossible to take it all in in one reading. I will be reading this one again.

Charles Martin books are raw, real, and yet, tell a story that repels and draws all at the same time. You cannot help but connect with the lives of the characters, laughing and crying right along with them.

PTSD, bullying, human trafficking; friendship, love, fierce loyalty to family – are all part of the basic foundation this time.

The characters are well developed, and it’s interesting to see the way their lives intersect and, in some cases, are woven together.

I love the twists and turns you don’t see coming.

If you like a story that digs deep, making sure you think and feel, this is the book for you.

 

Books to address the tough subjects

 

I wasn’t sure…. in the first few pages…. if I could read this book, but I persevered and was glad I did. Really glad. I would like to recommend it to you, too.

Coming Home Again tells the story of rape, and it’s devastating aftermath, in a way that we can bear to hear the worst and still keep reading. I had to check to be sure it was fiction because it is presented in a way that feels very real. (The best stories have you doubting they are fiction.)

As mentioned, at first I didn’t think I could read this book. I was about to delete it unread but remembered there must have been a good reason why I downloaded it in the first place. So I kept reading, and I’m glad I did. I find books like this one are a positive part of my healing journey. It seems they show up at just the right time with an answer to the current question plaguing my mind. I love how that works.

T.I. Lowe gives statistics that tell us millions of Americans have been victims of rape and attempted rape. A third of them have suicidal thoughts, and more than ten percent of them have attempted it.

I think it’s important for all of us to read this kind of story because it helps to give us an understanding we may not already have. If we can understand the reason behind behaviours, the ones we probably even find offensive, it can be life changing, for everyone. Knowing more, we may even recognize abuse while there is still time to intervene. That could be life saving.

For the victim. it’s important to know they are not alone in this experience. Secrecy is a big part of the abuser’s tactic and it’s easy to believe no one else knows or cares.

I like the writing technique in this book. Details of the story are passed out in  manageable bites. And in some of the more graphic places, she gives you a  clear choice – to read or not to read.

This story gives us hope…  there is life after abuse, we don’t have to be broken forever.

 

Coming Home Again A Coming Home Again Novel – Coming Home Again book 1 – T.I. Lowe…….  young teenage sisters fall prey to the wishes of a handsome, charming college age young man their mother introduces to their home. She charges him  with oversight of her family while her husband works and she is off pursuing her self-indulgent lifestyle.

Savannah is distressed at the inappropriate ways this man interacts with the girls and  she goes to great lengths to avoid him. Mostly it works.

Her father notices her disappearing act and is distressed by this behaviour. He tries to put an end to it  but doesn’t think to ask any of the right questions about why it’s happening in the first place.

Her mom seems to be oblivious to everything, in her self absorption, and does nothing.

Then comes the horrendous weekend that changes their lives forever. Mom must have finally noticed something amiss, because on her return from vacation  she  sends  the young man away.

It’s too little too late, the damage is already done.

At the first opportunity, the girls pack up and leave, hoping to escape the demons haunting them.  After all this time away, it still feels impossible to go back to the place of unbearable memories, even to bury the loving father they haven’t seen in years.

Will they survive this reunion? Savannah has serious doubts.

This is actually a pretty upbeat book considering the nature of the subject matter. Kudos to the author for the way she handled it.


I have read several more books that touch on difficult subjects but I think I will keep them for another post.

Wishing you the very best in your journey.

 

Featuring Staci Stallings…Part 1

Out of curiosity, after downloading yet another Staci Stallings book, I searched my downloads to see how many other Stallings books are in my Kindle collection. There have been nineteen since 2012, and only three have been mentioned in this blog. It’s time to change all that.

As an encouragement to writers out there, Staci’s website tells the story of beating the odds while breaking the rules of formula writing. She was also a pioneer in self publishing, before self publishing was even a thing.

Formula writing includes external conflict, Staci’s writing uses internal conflict. That makes her writing a blessing to many because as readers we can relate to characters facing many of the same hurdles we do.

So, without further ado, here is the list, or at least part 1 of the list.

More Than This  A Novel – More Than This …… Jake likes the anonymity of the dark corner of the coffee shop, a quiet place to sit with his laptop writing the novel that will have his name in lights. At least he’s hoping it will.

Liz and Mia make a game out of examining customers, trying to guess who they are and what they are about. They think the mysterious Jake could be clandestine CIA or something equally exotic. In an attempt to find clues about him Liz makes excuses to refill his coffee cup, succeeding only in breaking his concentration.

A Work in Progress Faith series The Faith Series – A Work in Progress book 1 … Rebecca has never been one of the beautiful people, instead she finds herself forever doing the alone thing, watching the beautiful people enjoying relationships, wondering how they do it.

Eric is drifting through college, not really settled on anything, looking at relationships as something to give him credibility with the world in general. Rebecca notices him after a disastrous meeting involving spilled hot chocolate, he’s cute, quirky, and interested in her roommate.

 

To Serve and Protect The Courage Series – To Protect & Serve book 1 …. Jeff endures much good natured  teasing from his friends over his inability to strike up a conversation with a pretty woman. Reluctantly, he joins a celebratory night out on the town after graduation at the fire academy.

Lisa is buried under piles of work in her ad agency and does her best to avoid the  awkward situation that will be her sister’s bachelorette party. Things are even worse when the girls move over to join the firemen’s table.

 

Eternity friendship series The Friendship Series – Eternity book 1…. Aaron has given up on life and girls since the love of his life left him for someone else. He’s stuck in a job he hates and the only bright spot at work is Harmony, a friend who has always been there for him. Unfortunately for Harmony, she loves Aaron but doesn’t expect he will ever feel the same way about her.

Aaron has a new roommate, Drew, a talented landscape artist who would like to start his own company and Aaron can see he would be great at it.  Drew has met someone special and is on a hot date. I have a feeling I know who that someone will be, and Aaron won’t be happy.

 

Deep in the Heart  A Novel – Deep in the Heart…… Maggie has successfully applied for a nanny position she desperately needs. What she doesn’t know – the strict house rules have been responsible for the short tenure of the all previous nannies, and there are bets she won’t last either. In the meantime, the children are starved for simple connection   and there is something about her that causes them to cling to her.

One other thing she doesn’t know – the handsome hired hand, who does funny things to her heart…. he’s actually part of the family… and he’s engaged.

 

Cowboy - Harmony series The Harmony Series – Cowboy book 1 ….. Beth is struggling to make a life for her little daughter, stuck in a diner trying to make ends meet, flooded with grief after the death of her husband.

Ashton’s life has been destroyed by the death of his best friend and biggest fan. Tempted to end it all on a rain soaked road, he stops at a diner for a cup of coffee. What he doesn’t expect, as he sits in his misery, is a perceptive waitress wanting nothing from him but the unburdening of his broken heart. She remembers the pain of running to escape and wanting it all to end.

In the favorite author category – Charles Martin

I’ve decided to add some of my favorite, previously read books.

Looking through the lists of books read, it seems that many of my favorite authors are missing or under represented. If the pages are to be useful as a resource for reading suggestions there are some authors that need to be included. So I am going to retroactively add at least some of the books I’ve loved.  Here is the first author to pop into my head as I think about this.

I’ve mentioned one or two books written by Charles Martin before. This time I will give you the complete list of books I’ve read in the last couple of years, which is many of them.

Be ready, for an emotionally charged journey.  Researching the book descriptions has been a strong reminder that he will take you to great heights, and equal depths of emotion.  It’s an unforgettable experience. The book descriptions don’t measure up, in letting you know what you are in for.  It would take the first bit of each novel to even give you a little taste of what is in store. His books are poignant and deeply touching. He writes with honesty, facing life in a vey real way that will change you

So…. here are 12 great books for you

Chasing Fireflies  Chasing Fireflies…. Never settle for less than the truth, she told him. But when you don’t even know your real name, the truth gets a little complicated. As Chase Walker found out, finding the truth about yourself can be as elusive, and as magical, as chasing fireflies on a summer night. A haunting story of discovery.

 

the Dead Don't Dance book 1 Awakening – The Dead Don’t Dance book 1….. In a sleepy rural town it’s the end of summer and a baby is about to be born. In the midst of hope and celebration comes unexpected tragedy, and Dylan Sykes must come to terms with how much he’s lost. Will the music of his heart be stilled forever….or will he choose to dance with life once more, in spite of sorrow and heartbreak? A bittersweet but triumphant love story.

 

Maggie book 2  Awakening – Maggie book 2 …. Life began again for Dylan when his wife awoke from a coma brought on by the intense two day labor to deliver their son. In this poignant love story, to embrace their future they must first come to terms with their past.

 

A Life Intercepted  A Life Intercepted… Matthew Rising had it all. He was married to his high school sweetheart, was one of the best quarterbacks in college football and a number one NFL draft pick. On the night of the draft he was accused of a heinous crime with irrefutable evidence and he lost it all including his freedom. Out of prison, he wants to find his wife who has been in hiding since the trial. He finds her living among the nuns of the Catholic school, coaching a teenage boy with exceptional ability. She will speak to him only enough to let him know she wants him to coach the boy. This would violate his parole if discovered but would it be enough to get his wife back.

 

Long Way Gone  Long Way Gone…. Eighteen year old Copper O’Conner leaves home with his dad’s treasures, to find fame and fortune in Nashville, a dream that doesn’t materialize. Just as he is falling in love with Daley, a rising star in the music world, tragedy strikes and with nowhere else to go, he returns home. Daley shows up in his home town, 20 years later, and he wonders if he is being given a second chance to get it right.

 

The Mountain Between Us The Mountain Between Us….. When a blizzard strands them in the Salt Lake City airport, total strangers (a gifted surgeon, and a magazine writer on the way to her wedding) anxious to get home, decide to charter a plane. The unthinkable happens and the plane crashes on a rugged mountain top. Injured, and with no way of calling for help, will they be able to survive long enough to be rescued?

 

Thunder and Rain  Thunder and Rain ….. Tyler Steele is a third generation Texas Ranger, with a strong sense of right and wrong and a tough outer shell that worked well in his job but brought an end to his marriage. Retired and raising his son on his own he is at risk of losing his ranch. He has to find a way to rebuild his life but doesn’t know how. Samantha and her daughter Hope are on the run from danger and are desperate and alone. Ty knows he can help, because that’s what he does.

 

Unwritten   Unwritten…. An actress running from her past finds escape with a man hiding from his future….. Two boats and a good knowledge of fishing, makes it easy for him to live off the grid on Florida’s coast. Until the one person linking him to the real world asks a favor. Helping a self destructive, high profile, actress has complicated his life and made him face things he has been running from. From Florida, they travel to the French countryside, where they will discover the unwritten story of both their pasts and their future.

 

Water From My Heart Water From My Heart…. Charlie Finn had to grow up fast, living on his own by age sixteen. Highly intelligent, he earned a full scholarship to Harvard where he did well and developed friendships that allowed him to move in privileged circles. Social skills learned in college helped him successfully navigate lucrative, cutthroat, and dangerous business ventures. He tried to keep personal and business separated but his poor choices created devastating results and now he has gone to Central American to attempt to make amends with the ones who suffered the most by his bad decisions.

 

When Crickets Cry  When Crickets Cry…. a spirited seven year old with a scar on her chest does a brisk business at her lemonade stand. The bearded stranger understands more about the scar than he wants to admit. A beat up bread truck careens around the corner, about to change their lives, teaching them both about unexpected miracles, and the painful reasons why crickets cry.

Where the river ends  Where the River Ends…. He was a fishing guide and a struggling artist from a George trailer park; and she was the only child of North Carolina’s most  powerful senator. They met by accident, and knew from the start they had found their soul mates. Ten years into their marriage she has developed terminal cancer and has a list of ten things she hopes to accomplish before she loses the fight, and he will do anything to make it all happen. They steal away in the middle of the night to start the 130 mile trek to the mouth of the St Mary’s river, a promise from the early days of their courtship.

 

Wrapped in Rain  Wrapped in Rain…. an internationally famous photographer,  Tucker has travelled the world, capturing things other people don’t see. What he can’t see is how to forgive his father. His brother has escaped from a mental hospital and an old girlfriend has shown up with her son and a black eye, forcing him to go home and face the agony of his own tragic past.

Walk to Beautiful: The Power of Love….

Walk to Beautiful

Walk to Beautiful: The Power of Love and a Homeless Kid Who Found the Way    Mr Jimmy Wayne with Ken Abraham

This is the powerful story of a little boy who lives with unimaginable neglect, abuse and hardship and is rescued as a teenager by an elderly couple who knew the transforming power of love.

It is also the story of how, as adults, we don’t have to be held back by the trauma of our childhood. Even with the lack of a positive influence and role models, we can have a healthy, purposeful life.

Jimmy Wayne grew up to become successful in a music career, singing and song writing – there are videos to show the truth of it. Three songs, now in videos on You Tube, are mentioned many times in the book. I would download them here for you but haven’t figured out how…yet. I hope you will check them out. Sarah Smile is one of his first covers, then two songs written by Jimmy,  I Love You This Much, and Stay Gone.

His successful career was not enough for him. He remembered the homeless and foster kids in his life, and he wanted to do something to make a difference, in the lives of kids like them. He set out to do a cross country walk to bring attention to the cause not expecting a double benefit – on a personal level – it was a healing journey.

His successful walk is the example he sets for us, to open our eyes to the hardships, and the possibilities in these kids. His efforts are responsible for a major change in foster care rules in his home state, and they shine a spotlight on areas still needing to be addressed. He is hoping to inspire all of us to step up and do something.

I’m glad I read this book, his story and his music touched my heart. That was his goal, and it worked. May I always see the possibilities.

 

 

I don’t feel like writing….

I don’t feel like writing… and the reason for this is not good. A blogger I follow is going through a rough patch and it is his pain that started mine. Empathy. I sense pain in others and take it on as my own. I don’t mean to, I know it’s not healthy – taking another’s pain as your own – but sometimes intentions aren’t enough to stop empathy.

This blogger is a young man and I am neither young, nor a man. He writes in a general way giving very little detail about his personal life, yet there is something in his writing that leaves the impression of much more below the surface.

I am drawn to reading his posts but I am an introvert, and there is the age/gender thing, so I am trying to stay hidden. Not an easy thing to do as his audience is still small.  Regular visitors stand out rather dramatically. With view stats he would see activity from my country only, but with likes and comments he would see my identity. So, I keep likes to a minimum, and avoid making comments. Eventually his curiosity about this person reading all of his posts has him trying to coax me out into the open. I steadfastly refuse to rise to the bait, until he shares a post revealing some of his pain. The encourager in me can’t help but respond, and I think this is where the trouble begins. But I could be wrong. It could have little to do with my response and much to do with the aftermath of his revealing some of his personal pain.

The trouble with wounded introverts, in my experience, is they over examine every interaction and then flog themselves mercilessly.  I can see signs of flogging going on. There is the unusually long silence and then today’s post indicating deep pain, with the probability of no more blogging. That would be a shame, on so many levels. I expressed this in a comment. I hope he hears and is encouraged to keep in touch.

I have been focused on what I imagine to be his pain paying little attention to my own pain based behaviors. Recognizing the resulting depression in me is the reason for this blog post …. forcing myself back into community, avoiding the tendency for withdrawal.

There is something therapeutic about the attempt to express thoughts and feelings in a way that makes sense. It helps defend against depression. And, community feed back  from posting is a bonus.

I hope my blogger friend will stay in community and keep writing. I know he will discover others who have travelled roads similar to his and will cheer him on, and he will discover growth in positive new insights about himself.

It’s working for me tonight, I would like to see it work for him too

And the pressure is off, hiding is over, no more avoiding comments and likes. Nice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Intimacy Anorexia: a review

Intimacy Anorexia: Healing the Hidden Addiction in Your Marriage by Douglas Weiss PHD.

Up until recently I knew of this book only by quotes I’d read. They were helpful but for some reason I never did read the whole book. Now I am wishing I had, much sooner.   Questions that have plagued me for years, and questions I hadn’t thought to ask, have been answered. At the start of the book I had questions in mind about one relationship, at the end, there were answers about 4 or 5 relationships.

Pondering  my new discoveries, I realize; this is not a new dilemma in families and relationships. This is an ancient generational issue.

In the introduction, Dr. Weiss mentions how he and his colleagues began to notice, in their practices of treating sex addicts, a type of client they couldn’t clinically explain.

This person, usually but not always, a male, was addicted to sex but was not having sex with his spouse.

Eventually, Dr. Weiss and his colleagues realized this practise had more to do with avoiding intimacy than it had to do with avoiding sex.

In case you think this is something that couldn’t be affecting you, Dr. Weiss mentions 25% and higher, as the number of people living with this.

You might be wondering, too, how this situation could fit so many relationships in my life. It turns out, avoidance of emotional intimacy affects not just the spouse but the whole family, in varying degrees.

Most statistics are based on information gathered. Many of us keep the family secrets,  what would stats be like if we didn’t?

In this book, the author will give a definition, characteristics, causes, patterns and strategies, and much more. This information will be helpful to both the addict and the spouse. There is also a companion workbook with exercises and a twelve step program to help with recovery.

If you read the book and need more help than it provides, they have phone in counselling sessions that can arranged. They also have three day, intensives, on site at their counselling center.

As Dr. Weiss says, their goal is to promote healing of this unique addiction process that is devastating so many marriages.

This book, and many of his other books, can be found on Amazon.com  Amazon.ca and probably other Amazon sites as well.

Books can also be ordered directly from his website  drdougweiss.com

A companion book to Intimacy Anorexia is Married and Alone and focuses on the spouseI hope to read it soon and post another review.

If any of this strikes a chord in your heart and mind, I hope you will pursue this information more quickly than I have.

Also, if anyone wants to talk about this, the best place is probably on my Facebook page Janette McCormack-Blogger. Either a comment or a message. Keep in mind though, it is a public site.

May you find needed healing, and blessings, in these resources.

 

 

 

Should we care what people think?

Is this a question you ask yourself when you write? I have been asking myself this question, again, the last few days, partly because of my own up and down emotions, partly  because of recent bloggers comments. It seems we all wrestle with this recurring question in one form or another.

I can remember the turmoil, before taking the plunge into blogging. I worried about  how, or even if, I could handle opposition and nasty comments. The comments on Facebook and news sites were nasty, I assumed this was a universal reaction to blogs everywhere. Happily, it seems the opposite is true, judging by the comments, or lack of comments, on this site. We are polite and kind to one another, which is a pleasant surprise. Or maybe it’s the filters built into this site protecting us. Either way, it seems to be a safe place.

The question of honesty and openness is big enough to be left for another day. But, in regard to the aspect of caring what others think when we share honestly- I am coming to  recognize that people are free to choose when to read and when not to read.  If this is the case, we can stop beating ourselves up over possibly offending our readers. If they don’t like how we think they will move on. The circle of people surrounding us will appreciate our thoughts…. unless they are simply there to build up their own numbers, in which case they probably don’t read our blog anyway, so it’s all good. At least that’s what I tell myself.

The plus side of sharing honestly, whether anyone reads it or not, is the self discovery that comes by laying things out in a logical and clear fashion. Moments of realization.

I’ve had a few of those recently, they would account for the up and down emotions of the last few days.

A time of sharing will come after a time of processing these new discoveries. Preceded by a time of thinking about who will be offended by the sharing.

The self discovery is worth it, I can tell you that, no matter what anyone thinks.

If you, too, are struggling with this question, I hope you will forge ahead with writing honestly, to experience more of your own moments of realization and the freedom it brings.


 

Check out some of the good books read this last week or so.

An Avery Black Mystery – Cause to Kill book 1 – Blake Pierce ….. a strong female protagonist with a broken and scandal ridden past tracks down a serial killer. I enjoy Blake Pierce mysteries.

Detective Madison Knight Series – Sacrifice book 3 – Carolyn Arnold … a young man washes up on the shore, there are forces at work to hinder the investigation.

Called to Serve Series – Deployed book 1 – Mel Odom….  a strong female protagonist

Deborah Jones Crime Thriller Series – Miami Requiem book 1 – J B Turner ….. a determined reporter trying to track down the truth about a murder before the death penalty is carried out.

A Nuts About Nuts cozy mystery – A Tough Case to Crack – Cindy Bell…… a move, to a new life, only to find things are not as expected

Sullivan and Broderick Murder Investigation – The Rock book 1 – Robert Daws

False Identity – Jennifer Youngblood and Sandra Poole…..   romance

The Sweethaven Circle Series – A Sweethaven Summer book 1 – Courtney Walsh….. four inseparable friends are drawn back together as adults, after many years of separation.

Montana Skies Series – Cry of My Heart book 1 – Linda Ford …. adults faced with brokenness, a result of their childhood loses, and how it is crippling their adult lives and a love that started in their preteen years.

Here’s to discovering Good books to read!