Photo courtesy of my caring brother
*There is a list of books at the bottom of every post*
THE other morning, as I was trying work up enough motivation to take a shower, I got to thinking, again, about my long held theory in regard to old people and showers….. and clean houses. My thinking has been, as has that of many others’, I’m sure, now that they are old, because of failing eyesight, they no longer seem to notice these needs.
I am officially an old person now, and since at this stage of life it seems I am aware of my motivational failings, then the truth must be; failing eyesight and sense of smell have nothing much to do with the neglect of self and home, at least not for many, otherwise healthy, old people. Obviously, there has to be another reason.
I know what the reason is for me, when I am honest with myself. And it probably is the same reason for many other older, still healthy, people who find themselves leading a life free of the multitude of obligations and responsibilities they once had – depression and loneliness is that reason for me.
Sometimes it takes a jolt for me to see the truth about myself. Like the jolt delivered by the accident pictured above, in a moment when only a quiet thought went through my mind as I tried my best to stop, before hitting some elk standing in the middle of the road, I wondered if this crash would take my life. I guess I will soon find out – I thought. Or, like the one received when on returning home after an extended work related trip, several years later, and finding myself in a state of over-the-top distress at coming home to an empty house. It has been empty for over a decade, what makes this time so different? On later reflection, these responses appeared to be inappropriate to the situations, and reflection on that thought caused me to examine the depths of the depression and loneliness I seemed to be ignoring in myself.
I think a lot about all of this, in relation to aging. I can be classed as old by some while others insist I am not THAT old yet, but even at this age, I know I am not yet to the greater stage of reduced activity my future holds, and I know for sure, if I keep breathing, I will be there one day. I think about older friends and family members and what their lives were like with the level of understanding we had back then. I hope our quality of life as seniors will be better if we have a greater understanding of depression and loneliness and how it affects the elderly.
Depression is a complex subject, affecting all ages, not just the elderly, and there are no easy answers, There are differences in our chemical makeup, life experiences, and personalities, to say nothing of genetics, and probably other factors too.
Admitting the truth to myself is a big first step for me. Paying attention, to those things which noticeably help make life seem worth living, has worked for me too.
I haven’t happened upon any one thing that would cause depression and loneliness to leave me but this new venture in writing has been making a noticeable difference. There is a pressure release in expressing myself in print, probably because of having to find a way to say things so they make sense, this form of expression, demanding complete thoughts, helps cast a different light on things. For sure, it helps me understand certain aspects of my life better. Added insights are always good. Cecil Murphey in Unleash the Writer Within declares that he has saved many thousands of dollars in therapists fees by pouring himself out on paper. Saving money is good too!
This morning, after rereading my words from last night, I feel a renewed lightness, a sense of hope. I hope this spark of hope is catching, especially if you are needing a spark of hope too.
Now, on to books read since last post!
A number of the books recommended for me this week have again been about historical wars. Over the course of my reading life, there have been a large number of books relating to the many wars fought on this earth, most notably, the American civil war, World War 2 and Brock and Bodie Theone’s two series about the Jewish point of view, pre and during WWII, to name just a few. In spite of the many books written it appears there are still many more stories to be told, and the books this week did lend a perspective new to me. Not all of the books this week were about war though.
Through The Barricades: Winner of the SCBWI Spark Award 2017 – Denise Deegan …. a story of bravery, and dual struggles that divide rather than unite. A story of Ireland and WWI. Another Good book!
Daffodils (The Katherine Wheel Book 1) – Alex Martin …… A story of war, young love, and class distinctions that fade as men and women from both classes fight together in a horrific war, that became theirs whether they wanted it to or not. A good book!
Kidnapped: The Beginning – Book 0 – J. S. Donovan ……. a mystery surrounding a ??? can’t tell you, because the author gives out clues in layers, and if I told you what it is about, why, that would be a spoiler, and the author definitely asked for reviews with NO spoiler alerts. It does involve a kidnapping – I can tell you that much. And I enjoyed the book.
Thunder (Stone Braide Chronicles Book 1) – Bonnie S Calhoun ….. post WWIII, Landers are being tracked and sold as slaves. a young girl encounters a Lander, which sets of a series of unimaginable events. I enjoyed this book and look forward to reading the sequel one day.
Sanctuary Lost (WITSEC Town Series Book 1) – Lisa Phillips …. I’ve read book 2 as well, previously, and enjoyed the mystery of them both. Small towns are not always what they seem, especially when peopled with those under witness protection.
The James L Rubart Collection: Rooms, Book of Days, and The Chair ….. these books are written in a style similar to author Frank Peretti. There is a huge spiritual dimension to these books…. rooms in a mansion that weren’t there yesterday but are today: a book that is being pursued by many but no one knows for sure if it is real or just legend: a chair with healing properties, passed down through generations, fought for by the power hungry.
Happy reading and, hopefully, writing too!