Speaking what’s on my mind.

This is another just start writing day. I’m short on books so I’ve got nothing. There is much going on in my head but it’s all a big jumble. Maybe I’ll just jump in and see where it takes us. I’m sure it will be a surprise, to me anyway. When is it not.

This whole conversation has been going on in my head for decades. The chatter has evolved with experience and I’ve changed with age and maturity. Maybe now, at least more often anyway, with new wisdom I’m able to act rather than react to circumstances and events.

Something I heard once (not sure where, probably a book I read) was a game changer for me. Look at what they do not what they say. If you want to know the truth look at what they do, I’ve found this to be totally true and freeing.

Another game changer for me was Never make decisions when you are emotional. Wait until you can think rationally.

Recently there was another new thought to add to the list. It’s had a huge impact on my thinking. (I forget from where but I think it was a podcast) As the truth of this new idea dawned on me everything changed.

All my life I’d heard we weren’t to judge people (especially with first impressions.) My mind always equated judgment with negativism (you know, all the negative assumptions we can make about people based on their appearance and the car they drive or the house they live in, etc.) and I was under the impression that everyone else thought much the same way. Then I heard we aren’t supposed to judge (make assumptions about someone) for bad or for good.

The thought was expanded to say that it’s just as wrong to make a good assumption about someone as it is to make a bad one.

It’s true. How many times have we assumed good things about people only to discover they weren’t the truth.

It can be a very bad thing to assume good things. Abusers, scammers, and con-artists know how to sell themselves to make us believe they are wonderful and trustworthy. They know how to sell us lies to rob us of our life and our life savings. If we are not on guard and we make false assumptions about goodness we can find ourselves in deep trouble.

Right now we have a rich tycoon in jail for his involvement in sex trafficking for well over several decades. He had most of us fooled and he bullied into silence those who did know the truth. He was not a safe place for many and he had the freedom to keep on abusing.

It seems to be easy to believe the best about bad people and at the same time lay blame and guilt on good people. Have you ever noticed that? I have never really figured out why this is but I’ve seen it happen over and over again. The dishonest seem to know how to work the system. They shout real loud and make crazy demands. They know how to smoke screen and deflect and it seems we fall for it every time. They make us feel like they are the injured party and we should apologize; and we do. This isn’t a new observation – seeing the guilty go free while the innocent are condemned.

These days there are so many people with emotional opinions and responses to a wide array of people and situations and I’m tired of hearing it. The way it’s going the emotional responses bounce back and forth so fast the emotional high never morphs into rational thought on either side of the issue. (Don’t worry, I do tune them out and stop listening. The on/off switch is a wonderful thing)

I would love to offer a challenge but I doubt they would ever take me up on it, mainly because, right or wrong, their minds are already made up. The worst of it is they have beliefs born out of incomplete or inaccurate information. Either there is no more information to be had or they haven’t bothered to research for themselves to see what the truth could be.

In most cases I find that rational minds have quieter voices. Even if they know the truth, and the truth is not good, they may speak out but they aren’t yelling. Unless it’s a pep rally, then they’re yelling

Maybe loud voices are born out of uncertainty and fear. Maybe they think if they yell real loud people will agree with them and it (whatever it is) will all be true.

I wish people would look at what is done and not what is said. I wish they would lay down their emotions and allow themselves to think rationally, without preconceived ideas of what the truth could be. And I wish they would leave assumptions and opinions behind on who is good and who isn’t.

There is safety in truth. How many times have we dodged a bullet by knowing the truth.

****************

Well, I’m not sure if this whole thing is coherent enough to make much sense but I’m feeling talked out for the moment. I think about this whole subject often, mainly because I’ve needed to figure things out to have peace and safety in my own life. Avoiding unhealthy relationships was certainly one of the reasons to think all of this through.

****************

Tomorrow is story prompt day and the prompt is – Dance.

I’ve been working on being ready.

It will be a surprise, I’m pretty sure.

One thought on “Speaking what’s on my mind.

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