Bargain book November 27, 2021

November 27, 2021 / For the Love of Books / Leave a comment

Bargain books today, Suggested by BookBub. An enjoyable author.

Not Until Christmas Morning: A Christian Romance (Hope Springs Book 5)

She’s a fixer… He’s about as broken as they come… Can they learn to turn to God for healing and hope this Christmas?

Leah has always been a fixer. That’s why she decided to foster a troubled teen. And it’s why she’s determined to give him the perfect Christmas. It might also be why she feels compelled to reach out to her grinchy, reclusive neighbor Austin. But she’ll have to be careful that reaching out doesn’t turn into something more—she’s been hurt by crossing the line from friendship to romance once, and she’s not willing to let it happen again.

After losing his leg, his friend, and his faith in Afghanistan, Austin figures he’s about as broken as they come. Hope Springs is simply a stopping point—a place to rehabilitate his leg, get over the burden of his PTSD, and get back into shape to redeploy. He has no desire to get to know anyone while he’s here, least of all the meddlesome—if sweet—woman next door. But when she calls on him to help her make Christmas special for her foster son, something compels him to relent. Soon, his heart belongs to both of them.

But what if Austin is too broken for even Leah to fix? Can the two of them learn to turn to God for hope and healing—and maybe even a chance at love—this Christmas?

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The second book is one I have but have not read. I must change this.

Not Until Forever: A Christian Romance (Hope Springs Book 1)

Sophie thinks she knows what she wants. Until she returns to the one place she said she’d never go again. And finds the one man she thought she’d left behind forever.

As she focuses on her career, Sophie doesn’t let herself think about what she gave up when she declined Spencer’s proposal five years ago. So when she’s called home to say goodbye to her dying grandmother, she goes out of her way to avoid seeing him. Of course, that means he’s the first person she runs into. Much as she fights against it, being near him stirs up old feelings and makes her question old decisions.

Leaving college to help on the family orchard cost Spencer the woman he loved. But he couldn’t turn his back on his family. Now that Sophie’s back in town, Spencer’s determined to protect his heart. Only he senses something new in Sophie—something that makes him think maybe they could have a second chance. But when his family needs him again, he feels like he’s repeating the past. Only this time, he’s not sure what choice he should make.

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I’m looking forward to reading these two, more than most others. I love that.

I’m currently reading a collection but may change gears and read one of these instead. It’s very tempting.

Family is visiting right now so reading is taking a back seat to visiting but I’m good with it. More than good with it. I love having them here.

It’s a beautiful day and life is good.

Happy Reading.

I’m wishing a good day for you as well

Read and enjoyed November 24, 2021

November 24, 2021 / For the Love of Books / Leave a comment

This book from yesterday met my expectations. This is an author I’ve enjoyed before.

One of the things I appreciate most in a story is: it doesn’t sound a bit like any of the others I’ve read.

This book almost accomplished it. There were a few spots with a familiar feel but that would be explained by the earlier books in the series. Same town, same people, mostly, with the focus on a different couple.

A reviewer commented the other day on an author he enjoyed but stopped reading because of the sameness in her work. I agree with him; different is better.

This was my favorite book so far this week.

Hangin’ by a Moment (Deep Haven Collection Book 5)

He just wants to erase his past.

The day Jack—formerly Winston Stewart—walked out of jail, he vowed to keep his conviction a secret. After all, it wasn’t like he’d committed a murder. Just a terrible mistake, and he did his time. Now he wants a new life in a sleepy town where no one knows his name. Deep Haven is the perfect place to start over as a chef. The last thing the former pararescue jumper wants is to get involved. But when Boone Buckam—his friend and the one guy he owes for getting him out of the slammer—asks for help, how can Jack refuse?

She can’t seem to escape hers.

Colleen Decker has already escaped evil once—as a teenager, she was kidnapped by a murderer. But she’s put all that behind her as a trauma nurse in Minneapolis. Or maybe not, because a freak mistake in the ER sends her past crashing down on her. She needs a timeout in her hometown of Deep Haven. She doesn’t plan to stay—even when she’s roped into the job of flight nurse for the town’s Crisis Response Team chopper. Colleen’s not sure why she’s drawn to danger, but she’ll be safe enough. After all, she’ll need training, and her teacher is a handsome former pararescue jumper. What could go wrong?

But facing the past might put their future together in jeopardy.

When Jack said he didn’t want to get involved, he especially meant his heart—but being with Colleen feels like a fresh start. He’ll even climb aboard a chopper again, despite his vows. They’re headed for a happy ending… But secrets never stay buried in a small town. And when disaster strikes one snowy night, they’ll both have to decide if the past will destroy them…or if it just might lead them home.

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This is my current read, second attempt. I haven’t made it very far yet. Might be skipping to the end?

Running With The Wind: A tale of courage, love and survival aboard the Mayflower

(The Mayflower Collection Book 1)

Jedediah Trelawney has a secret. Revealing it could cost him his life.

Jedediah Trelawney joins a small, overcrowded ship bound for America. A young man from a privileged background, he struggles to adapt to life at sea. Determined to earn the respect of his fellow passengers, he undertakes arduous tasks alongside the crew, but Jed is not cut out for the life of a sailor.

Sickness is rife aboard the Mayflower. Inspired by Samuel Fuller, a self-taught physician, Jed develops a fascination with the healing arts. He thrives as Doctor Fuller’s apprentice and challenges traditional ideas, seeking kinder methods for treating the sick.

Smitten by Desire Minter, Jed dreams of a future as a respected colony physician with Desire as his wife. Hostile passenger, John Billington, has other ideas. When Billington threatens to reveal Jed’s past, Jed becomes the victim of bullying and bribery. Somehow, Jed must silence Billington for good, or risk losing everything — including his life.

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Check these out, to see if you like them better than I do.

Happy Reading

Bargain book November 23, 2021

November 23, 2021 / For the Love of Books / Leave a comment

This book looks interesting. It’s a suggestion from BookBub this morning.

Hangin’ by a Moment (Deep Haven Collection Book 5)

He just wants to erase his past.

She can’t seem to escape hers.

But facing the past might put their future together in jeopardy.

When Jack said he didn’t want to get involved, he especially meant his heart—but being with Colleen feels like a fresh start. He’ll even climb aboard a chopper again, despite his vows. They’re headed for a happy ending… But secrets never stay buried in a small town. And when disaster strikes one snowy night, they’ll both have to decide if the past will destroy them…or if it just might lead them home.

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If anything else shows up I’ll share it later.

I have enjoyed this author, I hope you do too.

Happy Reading!

Bargain books November 19, 2021

November 19, 2021November 19, 2021 / For the Love of Books / Leave a comment

Two suggestions today, from BookBub and 1531 Entertainment.

The first one is mystery and the second historical romance.

Collision of Lies

Three years ago, a collision between a fast-moving freight train and a school bus full of kids led to devastation and grief on an unimaginable scale. But a fresh clue leads San Antonio police detective Amara Alvarez to the unlikely conclusion that one of the children may still be alive. If she’s correct, everything law enforcement believes about the accident is a lie.

With time running out, Amara must convince others–and herself–that despite all evidence to the contrary, the boy lives. And she will do everything in her power to bring him home.

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To Discover Her Heart’s Longing: A Historical Western Romance Book

Amy Richardson never imagined that staying at the orphanage she called home would put her at such risk. When she realizes that someone from her past isn’t ready to let her go, her future suddenly becomes uncertain. Forced to flee west in hopes of starting over, little does she know that things are about to get even more complicated. Arriving in a new town to meet her husband-to-be, she is shocked to find that he has no idea of her existence…

Will Amy ever find the safety she longs for in this new place?

After his father’s death, Peter McKelvey never intended to get married. So when his mother shows up with Amy as a mail-order bride arranged on his behalf, he is stunned. Seeing Amy’s dismay at his reaction though, he can’t bring himself to turn her away and hires her as a cook on his ranch. Yet as he begins to realize that she could be in very real danger, keeping his distance from Amy may not be possible if he wants to keep her safe…

Will Peter allow himself to care for Amy and even open up his heart to love?

With an unexpected bond between Peter and Amy growing, so do the challenges that face them. As they try to deal with the threats coming their way, Amy is still keeping secrets… Will Peter and Amy manage to trust each other and their budding feelings? Or will they lose everything to ghosts from the past?

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It has been a bit of a mixed up day. In many ways upsetting.

It seems like difficult situations stir things up in a way that we are forced to see elements of our life in a new light.

It’s easy to think I’ve made a lot of progress in my abusive healing journey and it’s a major shock when unexpected triggers happen.

I don’t pretend to be rational when that happens. I know I am a pro at knee jerk reactions.

It’s hard to know for sure what is reflex and what is me standing up for myself.

The trouble is it’s likely some of both.

The beauty of living alone in isolation is the absence of triggers. Social situations are a minefield especially when the interaction is between badly wounded souls. We understand better than most but we also trigger each other.

The desire to walk away is very real.

I’m sure you can guess my choice.

Now I’m thinking through the event trying to see how I can learn from it and do better in the future.

I would say other than that it’s been a good day but I can’t. It hasn’t been the worst day of my life but…

I’m gonna go finish my book. Drown my sorrows.

It’s the weekend, that’s encouraging.

C-PTSD – The hardest part of socializing. November 08, 2021

November 8, 2021 / For the Love of Books / 2 Comments

I need to talk to figure some things out before I explode.

The thing I hate the most about socializing? The aftermath. There is always a price to pay.

At the moment I am feeling needy, insecure, weak and codependent. Maybe not codependent so much as the first three.

I don’t like it.

I didn’t want to go to the social event in the first place but I caved. The carrot waved in front of my nose was a reason to be there.

I said yes, as I often do. It turned out better than expected and I enjoyed being there with everyone but…

I wish I had control over triggers and the resulting reactions, but I don’t.

*****

With the over use of the word “I” you can tell this is all about me.

The thing is, it is but it isn’t.

It was easy to pick up on the awkwardness and the hurt feelings on why I haven’t been going to the monthly meetings.

I’ve tried to explain it is because of the emotional/mental space I am in this year.

I’ve tried to explain about this and the whole PTSD struggle influencing these decisions.

The trouble is it isn’t met with a real understanding of the issue, and why would there be when they have not experienced it personally.

And then there is the “you don’t look sick” assessment adding doubt of my reasons.

I feel bad I am making them feel uncomfortable and hurt. I’ve tried to say things in a way to leave as little hurt as possible. I feel like I’m not very good at achieving this goal. Maybe it’s an impossible goal.

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I’ve thought about telling them my story, more than the bits and pieces already shared. I can’t do that though. They don’t deserve to be saddled with hearing the devastating details of my life.

The worst thing about all of this is the domino effect. Suddenly I am feeling needy, insecure, weak and maybe even codependent in other relationships.

It all has me wanting to ….

I’m not going to name what I’m wanting to do …

Saying these things out loud could lead me to making decisions I would later regret.

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This too shall pass, it always does.

Will life look the same afterward.

Probably not, maybe not.

I don’t know.

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It’s impossible to walk through the fires of life and not win-some lose-some.

C-PTSD conversation October 22, 2021

October 22, 2021 / For the Love of Books / Leave a comment

FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness, or the lack of it, is a roadblock to a peaceful life, unforgiveness impacts the victim’s life more than it does the abuser’s. The abuser does not deserve to be forgiven and probably doesn’t even care about having it one way or the other.

There is a full spectrum of emotions to be had as a result of holding on to hurt. At one end – I hate him and will never forgive him (or her,) at the other end – I know I need to forgive and I want to but I keep taking it back. The level of peace or distress we have depends on which end of the spectrum we fall on.

Unforgiveness can act like a cancer. The harder we hang on to it the more it takes over our life. Bitterness and a host of other emotions can take root and grow to gigantic proportions. There is no peace to be had if that happens.

I guess if we have been severely abused and feel dispassionate about everything we don’t have raging emotions to deal with and we can live what appears to be a normal happy life. But sooner or later something will trigger a reaction, maybe even something gigantic. That’s me and my life.

It has taken many decades but I have forgiven my dad.

His abuse took on many forms. It started a few weeks after conception, rage at imminent and unwanted fatherhood. All of the years long abuse was fueled by rage, addictions, and immaturity. He wasn’t my only abuser, he allowed others access when it suited him. I can figure out about 6 of them, including a pedophile, but there is a knowing that I can’t escape, even though I want to, there were more, maybe even many more. You can see why all my memories have been repressed. There are a few vague memories, puzzling thought patterns, and many triggers, all leaving clues. And then a brother who insisted I admit I was abused.

You can also understand why, when I was 18 and he was found dead, I was glad, relieved.

After many decades I have forgiven my dad and the changes in my emotional well being have been dramatic. I’m grateful.

There were other significant abusers though and the forgiveness process for them is still ongoing, with no end in sight. I haven’t been able to forgive yet but at the same time I choose not to hate. That in itself has made life a better place for me.

They say that the abused often choose a spouse similar to their abuser. In my case he was nothing like my dad and I thought I had done well.

Dad’s abuse loomed large and took over the whole conversation. It took decades to figure out what was going on with these other two relationships. Emotional abuse is difficult to identify even though the damage is greater.

Emotionally unavailable was the problem. It manifests itself in a number of different ways, all of them hurtful. Physical abuse, I could have said I’m done. But in this case I couldn’t see any workable way to deal with the problem.

Inability to name the issues responsible added a whole new layer of hurt, in both relationships.

Eventually I knew I had to take the bull by the horns and force some sort of decision. We’ve been living apart for nearly two decades. The most distressing and ongoing issue was I still couldn’t figure out why. I needed to understand.

I’ve been praying about forgiveness toward him for years and gotten nowhere.

The other morning was a breakthrough moment for me. In a moment of clarity I suddenly recognized that the parent I patterned a spouse after was not my dad but my mother.

I married a man like my mother.

That thought made so much sense, it was like chains falling off. It’s that simple and I don’t need to figure anything else out.

There is still a long way to go but I don’t think it will take decades now. There is freedom in forgiveness and that will be enough when it comes.

I’m still praying though, because I still need help.

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What I wish I could have had.

PTSD conversation October 15, 2021

October 15, 2021 / For the Love of Books / 3 Comments

This is sort of a this-and-that conversation, stemming from earlier comments with another blogger on his site. My response was going to be long so a post with more room seemed like the way go. Besides, I’ve been wanting to explore some of these thoughts on here anyway.

In his comment section we were talking about triggers, mood swings, living with integrity and how to calm things down. He says:

I am honest, make pretty good choices

How does integrity work with ptsd?

I agree

“I’m working on trying to change this. Consciously recognizing the times where I’ve taken insult and accepted rejection where none was meant. Baby steps, but it is making a positive difference.”

Ptsd is still raging from intrusive thoughts and trigger and spotting danger.

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For me; living with integrity (honorable, honest, dependable etc) adds up to good mental health – positive mental attitude. Living this way fosters a lack of shame, guilt, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, fear (fear we will be caught doing something wrong.).

There are other reasons (like the past) we can have these negative experiences but if we do life with integrity the negative emotion load will be reduced significantly. It’s hard to be fair and kind without feeling good about my everyday life and my interactions with people.

Feeling good about life and people has a calming influence on my triggers.

It’s easy for me to mistakenly think I’m doing well in this area if I’m not paying attention. Bouts of anger, impatience, road rage, and any other similar emotions can crop up as I do life. I have to deal with them, let them go and move on to preserve peace.

Aside from the integrity aspect, I’ve worked hard to keep bitterness, anger, and other such related emotions out of my everyday life. Forgiveness is important to my well being.

Most of these negative emotions are relative to the past rather than the present. I’ve forgiven my dad and I can talk about him now without tears or anger. Not so much with several others, tears still flow easily but that is a work in progress.

Another thing that helps me considerably is thinking through what just happened; once the emotions are settled down. Examining memories to identify the original event behind the trigger and facing what happened has helped take the punch out of the trigger.

It doesn’t sound like it should work but it does. A disclaimer though: I don’t know what you have been through so be careful with this one. Some memories should not be explored alone.

For me, an example of a memory to be explored would be the bathroom. For decades I wouldn’t/couldn’t go into a washroom, public or otherwise, if I had to do so within sight of men. It took a few more decades for me to realize the reason; as a child, bad things happened to me in bathrooms. I could have figured it out sooner if I had been willing to think about the why. It is what it is, leave it alone, was my attitude.

All of these things, and probably more, have been helpful but the one thing I use on a day to day basis is change-the-channel. It was validating when I heard they were doing this successfully with soldiers. They found that early interruption of debilitating thoughts brought an early end to the episode. They were using computer games to be the distraction.

For a good while there, my whole day was destroyed if I was triggered. It was frustrating. Especially when I was supposed to be working.

By accident I learned that if I went to an activity requiring my whole mind, the channel would change in my head and my thoughts would move on to a better place. Later I may think about whatever triggered me but the adrenaline reaction was no longer there.

I read books, play computer games, follow podcasts and vlogs, write this blog. Some days these things are literally my sanity. I run to them before I dig myself into a deep hole.

I don’t know if this makes sense or is even helpful but this is how I maintain my sanity and avoid major triggers. This is not the final word on the subject either. It is much too complex for that and I’m no expert.

Now I just have to figure out how to avoid the minor triggers.

I don’t think I will live long enough to deal with it all. 🙂

A parting thought: there are many self centered hurting people who do not lead a life of integrity. They would be happier if they did. If you lead a life of integrity you can check this box off the list. I have.

Short and sweet September 04, 2021

September 4, 2021 / For the Love of Books / Leave a comment

Sorry I missed a few days posting. I had been doing so well, 80 days in a row. We’ll blame the break on covid. I had my second shot on Thursday and Friday was brutal. Slept all day, and staggered to the washroom like a drunken sailor. The walls did a good job of breaking my fall. This morning was much better and I actually ate a piece of toast. My joy at feeling better is long gone, whatever energy I had earlier is all used up. Hence the short post.

I missed my birthday party yesterday, thanks covid shot. I share a birthday, sort of, with my grandson. His was yesterday. Mine is today. I’m sad because the “cake” looked awesome, I missed being with the people too, honest.

Today, I spent the day lounging around, doing what I love. Reading. The best thing about this book – I would give it 5 stars, no question.

Acceptable Risk (Danger Never Sleeps Book #2)

Sarah Denning is a military journalist with the Army in the Middle East when her convoy is attacked and she’s taken hostage. When former Army Ranger Gavin Black is asked by his old unit commander–Sarah’s imposing father–to plan an extremely risky rescue, he reluctantly agrees and successfully executes it.

Back in the US, Sarah is livid when she’s discharged on a false psychiatric evaluation and vows to return to the Army. Until she learns of her brother’s suicide. Unable to believe her brother would do such a thing, she puts her plans on hold and enlists Gavin to help her discover the truth. What they uncover may be the biggest story of Sarah’s career–if she can survive long enough to write it.

Strap in for another breakneck nail-biter from bestselling romantic suspense author Lynette Eason that will have you up turning pages long into the night.

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Now it’s back to my book, just 20% more and I’m done.

I will do my best to be back tomorrow.

Happy Reading

Confessions of an abuse survivor

July 21, 2021 / For the Love of Books / Leave a comment

I decided to name this post, and any future posts like it, in a way that would provide a heads up for anyone wishing to avoid such emotional discussions. I’m not planning on raw, uncomfortable, tell-alls, I know difficult discussions can be had in a civilized manner.

Anyway, today’s post doesn’t include any of that.

This could be a this-and-that kind of day except my thoughts have been heavier than that this week. Confession seems to be a more appropriate label.

I debated including the term abuse survivor but decided it gives context to where my head is at with the topics. There is nothing frivolous in my contemplations.

Enough of that.

So here’s the thing I’m trying to figure out. Why?

That’s what I need to know. Why?

I haven’t come up with an answer, so far, and I doubt this writing exercise will be all that revealing but I have to try.

I’m reluctant to tell you what I’m referring to because when I think of putting it into words, in my mind it sounds silly. I’m afraid you will dismiss it as such if I tell you what I’m thinking.

So, partial confession. As I’m contemplating the why of my reluctance to take on a certain task I’m wondering if maybe a trigger is behind it. What thought or emotion is holding me back?

So, here’s the thing. In the last year or so, because of interviews and the like, I’ve been exposed to non fiction books, mostly related to my life experience with abuse. They struck me as useful in my healing journey and I put out a significant amount of money to obtain them.

I was excited to have them, paid full price for most of them, and yet I can’t seem to make myself take the time to read them.

Were they just another bright idea that didn’t survive the light of day?

Would my reluctance to tackle the challenge stem from deep insecurities? The fear of failure?

Could the reticence be linked to anticipated emotional responses to painful subjects?

Are there unidentified triggers going on?

I’ve faced head on the physical abuse attributable to my dad. At the same time, I will admit I don’t want to think about or deal with the emotional abuse stemming from my mother or my marriage.

Is that what this is about?

I’ve heard it said we must ask ourselves this question – Do you want to be healed, really want to be healed?

When we honestly ask ourselves this question we might be surprised to find that the answer is no. The price we would have to pay to find healing could seem too high.

If I’m really honest, I think when it comes to my mother and my marriage, my heart says the price is too high.

…

I do really want to be healed. I’m not acting like it.

I will keep on thinking and praying about this.

In the meantime…

Some of the books in the lineup.

The one I’m considering at the moment is The Power of Writing It Down

If you made it this far, thanks for listening.

This and that July 18, 2021

July 18, 2021 / For the Love of Books / Leave a comment

I’ve discovered it’s best to date these things. They all merge together otherwise. Indistinguishable.

It’s warm out there! That the biggest thing on my mind at this moment. Usually it starts to cool off a little by 7 PM but not tonight. I went out to do some watering and quickly changed my mind. Later.

The highlight of the week was last night’s family Zoom call. Most of us live thousands of miles apart. We enjoy one another but we are not good at staying in touch. In all honesty, I’d have to admit that would be a gross understatement. Since we’ve committed to a Zoom call once a month, we are doing much better at connecting and we are having a lot of fun. The next call is going to fall on my birthday, how nice is that!

So, the other thing on my mind this week was tied up with a comment I made the other day about a writing project I had in mind. I’ve been thinking about this for a very long time but even more so lately. It seemed like it was time to do something about it so this weekend I did put some hours into it and wrote something. In the end, I didn’t use any of it.

I’m surprised about the level of unexpected relief I felt.

Part of the impetus for this writing project was to have a place where I could fill the need to rant and rave once in a while. I couldn’t do it here, didn’t want to do it here, I felt like it would spoil everything.

Anyway, I created another space, wrote an introductory piece with a small rant at the end, and struggled with getting the site set up the way I wanted it. No matter what I did nothing was going right.

By the time I decided to give it all up and deleted the new blog, my rant had lost it’s steam and I felt a lightness I didn’t have earlier.

Sometimes it’s healthy to visit the dark places but sometimes it’s not. There already is an over abundance of negative self-talk going on in my head I don’t need more. It feels healthier, for the most part, to stick to the lighter side of things in my communications with the world.

Part of my reason for wanting a place to rant was to work my way through some of the life long issues that surface from time to time. Writing and talking can be very therapeutic.

The subject of my short rant was acknowledging, for the first time, that my parents were selfish, immature teenager/young adults making unhealthy decisions and choices without a worry over whose life would be negatively affected. I can’t believe that they would unthinkingly do what they did.

While it was healthy to face this truth, I could see that to camp on the negative side of my life, while creating content for a new blog on a regular basis, would be injurious to my emotional health.

I’m so glad I’ve got that all figured out.

Maybe for future needs, I can work through the issue in my mind and then reduce it to a short paragraph. That should take care of everything

There is one more truth recently discovered but I’ll save that topic for another time. It’s a very encouraging truth. I must share it with my brothers.

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Currently I’m reading book one in a three book collection.

A Family to Love by Cindy M Amos and several others

Skinny Ranch Romance – Cindy M. Amos
When a hometown parade explodes with violence targeted at obese onlookers, District Judge Ilie Walton is forced to team with former classmate Traynor Henning for a trial reduction program for the victims. None too pleased over the partnership with Tray, Ilie claims to remain blind to his Zach Efron good looks in the name of justice. As the fence lengthens and the pounds melt off volunteer participants, Tray’s devotion softens her resolve, launching a romantic partnership. When new evidence emerges on a cold case involving a death at their senior class party, Ilie insists that justice prevail, though it threatens to sever their tenuous relationship. Tired of bearing the guilt, Tray faces off with his buddy Rex about what really happened that day in his boat. When the cold case turns red hot, will Ilie stand with the hardworking rancher—or do justice and reconciliation take two separate paths?

The scales of justice possess keen discernment, yet love never needed a final verdict to overcome.

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This is the one recently finished

Dearly Loved: Second Chance Christian Romance

The lovesick daydreams of Meredith Ambrose’s teenage years for neighborhood heartthrob David Steller have faded into uncomfortable memories-until he lands in a hospital bed in her unit where she works as an R.N.

David came to the Northwest to look her up-he just didn’t plan on their reunion occurring with him on a gurney. Can he prove he’s really changed after all these years? (Christian romance)

Happy Reading!!