my story

How was your week?

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This was a letter to a friend tonight, chatting and asking about her week. It was fun to remember good days gone by and I thought it would be nice to share memories with you too. This takes place in Canada.

How was your week? Was the weather warmer than you’d like? Did you have a chance to get to the mainland to see the kids?

Our weather has been warm again the last few days. It makes me very grateful for A/C when temps are in the 30s. I like to be outside when it’s working though because cold air blowing around makes me shiver. I sit on the deck with a book and a coffee to enjoy the heat. I don’t work in the yard though, exertion in heat like that is a killer. My body doesn’t handle overheated very well anymore. I wait for evenings and mornings to garden.

We’ve had air quality alerts with all the smoke hanging around from the many forest fires between Saskatchewan, here, and western Ontario. We don’t have nearly as many fires as you do in BC but still, there’s been enough smoke to reduce visibility and turn what sun we could see orange. We’ve had rain with thunder and lightning where I live. The rain seems to be localized. Some areas get it and others don’t. The farmers are having a hard time of it. Some are selling off their herds as they are having trouble with feeding them.

One of my neighbors has been replacing part of his fence due to the weather. It had a definite list to it after one of the big storms whipping through at the end of May. The wind can get really wild around here with major storms . Watching the poor trees taking a beating and listening to roar of the wind, always makes me think of being out on the water. Between the number of years spent near the ocean in North Vancouver, Prince Rupert, and then Chemainus, there must be scary memories buried somewhere in my subconscious data bank.

I guess the ocean wasn’t the only place we experienced scary times. One year, when Gerald was four months old, we were camping in a tent at Mara Lake in the Okanagan. A big storm whipped up on the lake, strong enough to take out trees. We were hiding in our tent through it all, fortunately we were in the middle of a field and it didn’t last long. The campers parked among the trees closer to the beach were not as lucky, several had trees fall on them (the vehicles, not the people, thankfully.) I’ll never forget that trip.

The other strong memory I have from that holiday was staying among the trees (apricots) in an orchard turned campground. That’s what you call diversification. It was at the south end of Okanagan Lake on the eastern shore. It was pretty and different. It was hot too. So hot that my can of baby formula was wrecked. Who knew? I was a new mom with little baby food experience.

Of course, this also reminds me of our first summer camping trip about six years earlier. We were headed to Regina for a visit with Dave’s sister and we camped overnight in Jasper. It never crossed our minds to think that we would freeze to death in our tent in summer in the middle of the Rocky Mountain forest. We were fast learners, let me tell you. Not a whole lot of sleep that night. We travelled on hoping to stop for the night somewhere in Saskatchewan never realizing there would be no tress to speak of. We were spoiled with BC forest campgrounds. Not finding any trees, we opted for a motel room. We were more experienced on the return trip.

Lots of good camping experiences. I could share memories all night but I’d better quit.

I am doing well, in spite of the heat. Life is quiet around here. The biggest excitement currently, aside from the fence, is the bunny eating all the tender plants in the neighborhood. I have a feeling he’s alone and sticks pretty close to places he knows. Sad for us.

Have a great weekend.

Still praying God’s blessing and strength for you and your family.

♥ J

Photo by GEORGE DESIPRIS on Pexels.com

This and that July 22, 2021

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I have no new suggestions today. Some days are just like that and I’ve decided I’m OK with it.

I think my goal for the moment needs to be – reduce the line up of books waiting to be read.

It’s gradually gotten out of hand and I’m finding it overwhelming, if I’m being honest. I can hear someone saying – it took you long enough. What can I say. I’m a sucker for books 🙂 Anyway, I purposely haven’t done a deep dive today looking for bargains.

Moving on,

The last number of weeks I’ve spent a significant amount of time watching podcasts and while I’ve enjoyed them I’m realizing there is a down side to this kind of indulgence. Many (not all) of the sites I’ve subscribed to are built around the state of world news. Between opinions and an over abundance of information there comes a point where enough is too much. I feel weighed down, and distracted. There are other things requiring my attention and I haven’t been able to do them justice.

This blog has been affected the most by this stealing of reading/writing time. My mind feels foggy and empty. It takes a good amount of thinking time to have something to say. It takes input too. The trouble with the podcasts is the political subject matter. I don’t write about politics and the abundance of input produces no fruit in my world.

Reading, on the other hand, always spurs some kind of usable thinking.

I’m going on a podcast diet, cutting way back on time spent and it’s helping. With more time devoted to reading, the fog seems to be lifting enough to make comments.

During last nights post, I found I’d inadvertently started a new read with the novella belonging between books 1 and 2 in the Culper Ring series. I was too far into it to avoid the spoiler so I went ahead and finished it. Going back to the beginning, I’m now half way through book one and while the novella has given away one aspect of the ending it hasn’t spoiled the whole book for me. It is still a good read with lots of unexpected action.

Another decision in the back-to-reading restrictive diet was concerning my TBR list of neglected Non-fiction downloads.

Earmarking an hour devoted to Non-fiction reading seemed like a reasonable way to make some headway. The Power of Writing It Down is my pick for current read and I’m almost to the end of the first chapter.

This read definitely takes more work, that’s for sure. The author packs every single page full with thoughts, concepts, and information. A number of things stood out for me, right from page one.

I need time to chew on them before I can make comment.

There was one thought towering above the rest, though.

Research shows that thought patterns and tasks performed thousand of times create a rut or neural pathway and without conscious thought the mind automatically goes there. It’s discouraging to think that without thought these ruts lead us to unhealthy places. On the plus side: research also shows that with conscious choosing of different, healthier paths, performed enough times, over time they can overwrite and replace the old unhealthy paths.

This idea resonates with me more than usual. I think it’s because, even before reading this book, I’ve found myself practicing new patterns of thought and actions this summer. I’ve noticed myself making different decisions and choices and I’m pretty happy thinking about what it means going forward. I’ve been praying for healing and it appears to be on the way.

Read and current reads

Happy Reading y’all

Confessions of an abuse survivor

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I decided to name this post, and any future posts like it, in a way that would provide a heads up for anyone wishing to avoid such emotional discussions. I’m not planning on raw, uncomfortable, tell-alls, I know difficult discussions can be had in a civilized manner.

Anyway, today’s post doesn’t include any of that.

This could be a this-and-that kind of day except my thoughts have been heavier than that this week. Confession seems to be a more appropriate label.

I debated including the term abuse survivor but decided it gives context to where my head is at with the topics. There is nothing frivolous in my contemplations.

Enough of that.

So here’s the thing I’m trying to figure out. Why?

That’s what I need to know. Why?

I haven’t come up with an answer, so far, and I doubt this writing exercise will be all that revealing but I have to try.

I’m reluctant to tell you what I’m referring to because when I think of putting it into words, in my mind it sounds silly. I’m afraid you will dismiss it as such if I tell you what I’m thinking.

So, partial confession. As I’m contemplating the why of my reluctance to take on a certain task I’m wondering if maybe a trigger is behind it. What thought or emotion is holding me back?

So, here’s the thing. In the last year or so, because of interviews and the like, I’ve been exposed to non fiction books, mostly related to my life experience with abuse. They struck me as useful in my healing journey and I put out a significant amount of money to obtain them.

I was excited to have them, paid full price for most of them, and yet I can’t seem to make myself take the time to read them.

Were they just another bright idea that didn’t survive the light of day?

Would my reluctance to tackle the challenge stem from deep insecurities? The fear of failure?

Could the reticence be linked to anticipated emotional responses to painful subjects?

Are there unidentified triggers going on?

I’ve faced head on the physical abuse attributable to my dad. At the same time, I will admit I don’t want to think about or deal with the emotional abuse stemming from my mother or my marriage.

Is that what this is about?

I’ve heard it said we must ask ourselves this question – Do you want to be healed, really want to be healed?

When we honestly ask ourselves this question we might be surprised to find that the answer is no. The price we would have to pay to find healing could seem too high.

If I’m really honest, I think when it comes to my mother and my marriage, my heart says the price is too high.

…

I do really want to be healed. I’m not acting like it.

I will keep on thinking and praying about this.

In the meantime…

Some of the books in the lineup.

The one I’m considering at the moment is The Power of Writing It Down

If you made it this far, thanks for listening.

This and that July 18, 2021

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I’ve discovered it’s best to date these things. They all merge together otherwise. Indistinguishable.

It’s warm out there! That the biggest thing on my mind at this moment. Usually it starts to cool off a little by 7 PM but not tonight. I went out to do some watering and quickly changed my mind. Later.

The highlight of the week was last night’s family Zoom call. Most of us live thousands of miles apart. We enjoy one another but we are not good at staying in touch. In all honesty, I’d have to admit that would be a gross understatement. Since we’ve committed to a Zoom call once a month, we are doing much better at connecting and we are having a lot of fun. The next call is going to fall on my birthday, how nice is that!

So, the other thing on my mind this week was tied up with a comment I made the other day about a writing project I had in mind. I’ve been thinking about this for a very long time but even more so lately. It seemed like it was time to do something about it so this weekend I did put some hours into it and wrote something. In the end, I didn’t use any of it.

I’m surprised about the level of unexpected relief I felt.

Part of the impetus for this writing project was to have a place where I could fill the need to rant and rave once in a while. I couldn’t do it here, didn’t want to do it here, I felt like it would spoil everything.

Anyway, I created another space, wrote an introductory piece with a small rant at the end, and struggled with getting the site set up the way I wanted it. No matter what I did nothing was going right.

By the time I decided to give it all up and deleted the new blog, my rant had lost it’s steam and I felt a lightness I didn’t have earlier.

Sometimes it’s healthy to visit the dark places but sometimes it’s not. There already is an over abundance of negative self-talk going on in my head I don’t need more. It feels healthier, for the most part, to stick to the lighter side of things in my communications with the world.

Part of my reason for wanting a place to rant was to work my way through some of the life long issues that surface from time to time. Writing and talking can be very therapeutic.

The subject of my short rant was acknowledging, for the first time, that my parents were selfish, immature teenager/young adults making unhealthy decisions and choices without a worry over whose life would be negatively affected. I can’t believe that they would unthinkingly do what they did.

While it was healthy to face this truth, I could see that to camp on the negative side of my life, while creating content for a new blog on a regular basis, would be injurious to my emotional health.

I’m so glad I’ve got that all figured out.

Maybe for future needs, I can work through the issue in my mind and then reduce it to a short paragraph. That should take care of everything

There is one more truth recently discovered but I’ll save that topic for another time. It’s a very encouraging truth. I must share it with my brothers.

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Currently I’m reading book one in a three book collection.

A Family to Love by Cindy M Amos and several others

Skinny Ranch Romance – Cindy M. Amos
When a hometown parade explodes with violence targeted at obese onlookers, District Judge Ilie Walton is forced to team with former classmate Traynor Henning for a trial reduction program for the victims. None too pleased over the partnership with Tray, Ilie claims to remain blind to his Zach Efron good looks in the name of justice. As the fence lengthens and the pounds melt off volunteer participants, Tray’s devotion softens her resolve, launching a romantic partnership. When new evidence emerges on a cold case involving a death at their senior class party, Ilie insists that justice prevail, though it threatens to sever their tenuous relationship. Tired of bearing the guilt, Tray faces off with his buddy Rex about what really happened that day in his boat. When the cold case turns red hot, will Ilie stand with the hardworking rancher—or do justice and reconciliation take two separate paths?

The scales of justice possess keen discernment, yet love never needed a final verdict to overcome.

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This is the one recently finished

Dearly Loved: Second Chance Christian Romance

The lovesick daydreams of Meredith Ambrose’s teenage years for neighborhood heartthrob David Steller have faded into uncomfortable memories-until he lands in a hospital bed in her unit where she works as an R.N.

David came to the Northwest to look her up-he just didn’t plan on their reunion occurring with him on a gurney. Can he prove he’s really changed after all these years? (Christian romance)

Happy Reading!!

A little of this, a little of that July 14, 2021

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I’ll have to tell you about my momma plant. It is called a Spider plant but it is thought of as a momma plant because it sends out long stems, like a spider’s web and little babies, or pups, grow on the ends. They are cute and when the plant sends out multiple stems they are really cute. So cute that I hate to cut them off.

There were multiple stems and their cute babies had grown so big they were resting on the floor. It all sort of filled in the corner with pretty greenery and I liked it.

Lately I’ve been noticing that mom has been looking a little dry and starting to go brown. It’s summer, it’s warm, she needs more water. Still, even with more water she was dragging and looking a little worn out (I almost said warn there, oops) (maybe she was warning me)

Anyway, it occurred to me today that her babies were bleeding her dry, no wonder she was looking droopy.

She’s feeling much better now that she’s been delivered of four of her 15 lb babies.

They are resting comfortably in a tray of water. Growing roots to be ready to move into their own home, and start sending out their own babies.

Not sure what I am going to do with them all.

In the meantime…

Mom is starting to look perkier already.

She still has three more babies to feed though.

Hmmmm. Maybe I should have delivered all of them. Given her a fighting chance.

Maybe tomorrow.

Anyone looking to own a Spider plant? Anyone?

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The Spider plant isn’t the only one trying to give me babies.

The flowering Crab Apple cut down two years ago is trying hard to survive.

It’s roots keep sending up pretty pink suckers in an ever widening circle in the front lawn.

I have some thoughts on how to deal with this, I’ll let you know how who wins. Hopefully it will be me.

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Now for a less challenging subject… books.

Currently I’ve started….

Faith in the Mountain Valley (Call of the Rockies series Book 5)

This epic journey is the only way to leave her secrets behind.

After eleven years spent looking for the girl who stole his heart, Jean-Jacques Baptiste—better known as French to his friends—is tempted to give up. Until the day he spotted the flaxen-haired stranger traveling the wooded path with Blackfoot Indians. He never imagined he’d find his childhood friend masquerading as a man in this Rocky Mountain wilderness, hundreds of miles from the Canadian town where he last saw her. No matter her reasons, he can’t let her go this time.

Colette Mignon’s life has become a cacophony of lies, including the fact that her Blackfoot Indian companions believe she’s a man. She’s willing to live the taxing life of a trapper in these desolate mountains as long as it keeps her secrets hidden. When her childhood friend and first love discovers her, his determination to help might put everything at risk.

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I haven’t read far enough to form any opinions but I have high hopes.

That cover is refreshing on these warm days of summer.

Happy Reading y’all

Morning chat July 11, 2021

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I took a little break from reading to pour a new cup of tea and while I was at it I felt like saying good morning to someone, since I am in such a good mood. Saying good morning to you seemed like the best choice and so, here I am.

So, why am I in a good mood? Well, I think it’s me picking up on the mood in my current read. Everything is going well for the characters and I’m happy about the way things are playing out. I’m happy about the writing too. Ultimately it is the authors treatment and handling of the story that elicits this type of response from me, the reader.

Hmmmm. It hasn’t ever occurred to me to express it quite like that before. When I stop and think about it, though, it’s true. On the surface I love the story but what I’m truly loving is the writing and the heart of the author.

There is a Bible verse that says out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. It is so true. We write from who we are.

Our books and stories are flavored by our hearts. Our hearts are flavored by our thoughts, our outlook on life.

I’d try to explain what’s going on with the story but it’s complicated and convoluted. It would probably take me at least 5000 words and I know we aren’t ready for that. I’ll give you the brief synopsis from Amazon, it says it better than I could at the moment.

It’s talking about book three in the four book collection.

As a side note, I have to say I’ve enjoyed everything I’ve read in this collection so far.

Warfare of Love 

HOMETOWN HERO
Fighting through two years without leave and secret feelings, Davis and Muller must go undercover as newlyweds to stop the disaster.

When a shocking mix up with the chaplain makes their undercover roles a reality; Wolf and Angel must unmask a mole, stop a terrorist, protect the President-elect and untangle the events that just made them partners for life.

Can undercover love survive in the midst of trial?

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It’s been nice chatting with you. Gaining a little insight into the way books affect me has been an unexpected added bonus. I love it when that happens.

***********

I’m not sure if this qualifies as the official post for today. I don’t really think so but time will tell. Maybe I’ll see you again later.

Hopefully after I’ve conquered book 4 in this collection. It’s still a bargain if you are interested.

Later, maybe.

Happy Reading.

Bargain books July 10, 2021 Part two

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Time travel is the theme of the next attractive collection to cross my path today. I enjoy reading time travel, it has all sorts of interesting possibilities. There can be wide differences in treatments, though, and I find myself approaching new experiences with caution, not feeling confidence about liking the experience. When I like it I like it, though.

I haven’t read very far on this to check it out but what I did read has me hooked. I want to know what comes next.

I love the cover too.

Nevermind Time: A Time Travel romance set

Enjoy these sweet, clean, time travel romances where time has no hold on love.

A TIME TO DIE
Herbert Groat has fixed all sorts of watches, but this? A watch that doesn’t just tell time, it goes back in time. In the nick of time. Evelin Barclay is an associate at Wanamaker’s in Philadelphia. She doesn’t know she’s about to be brutally murdered. Can Herbert set aside fear and disbelief to save her? Or will it be her time to die?

TIME WILL TELL
When one of Clay’s irate customers runs April’s car off the road on the Fourth of July, she’s mysteriously transported back in time to 1970 and given the chance to right a past wrong. Can she thwart a dangerous plot involving Clay’s grandfather that doomed Hackle County’s future and her relationship with Clay?

THE PORTAL
A plain wooden box. A travel through time. Will Tarin choose comfort or true love? Can these two from different times find the love they’re searching for?

A FRIEND IN HIGH PLACES

Was her aunt married? If so, who was that man at the cemetery? After reading the stack of love letters between Claudia and William, Kelly sees that a simple wrong assumption changed everything. If only she could go back and make things right…

CECILIA’S Y2 KEY
When Cecilia finds a key hanging on her Christmas tree, she’s afraid someone has broken in. The truth is much more frightening. When she opens the old oak chest in the attic on New Year’s Eve 1999, she is whisked back to 1900 because of an ancient family curse.

THE VORTEX
What do you do when your world is turned upside down and everything you knew is gone including years of your life and the only realities are an apple orchard and the man who lives there?

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It’s a good thing the book is only 513 pages long, with six stories they haven’t been given too much time.

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I see we have one more now too. BookRunes has a FREE suggestion I’m excited about. I have read this author before but it’s been awhile. The first few pages of this new book have me intrigued.

Honey Creek Homecoming (Honey Creek Romance Book 1)

Amazon quote:

Honey Creek is the one place on earth Olivia Swanson never wants to see again. When her step-grandmother sends for her, Olivia returns with a plan. To marry the town’s wealthiest bachelor, Payton Vance. But things go quickly awry for the self-absorbed, arrogant, and angry woman.

Secrets in her past, the devotion of a woman longing to be her grandmother, a destitute family, and Rusty Baker, the guy she humiliated in high school all push Olivia into an emotional battle only a Savior could help her win.

Over a short amount of time, Olivia learns she can’t make it alone no matter how independent, ambitious, and stubborn she is. Something spiritual is at play here. Her return to Honey Creek was no random happening. God has chosen this particular time and place to give Olivia a choice. Either trust Him or lose everything.

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I’m going to have to have a reading marathon this weekend, with all these new books I’m excited to get to.

*********

This book situation is actually a very good thing right now as I wrestle with sadness. It would be nice if the people we love could live forever, or at least as long as we do, but they can’t. And they wouldn’t want to, when it comes right down to it.

I’m grateful for a basket full of enticing books, they will keep me from digging an impossible sadness pit I’d have trouble climbing out of.

While I don’t want to dig a bottomless hole, I do admit that the presence of sadness is a good thing. It means I love. And in this case deeply. I’m grateful we still have a little time, it’s not over yet.

To answer your question, it’s a beloved family member who has been in my life for decades. She holds a special place in my heart. She’s managed more than 90 years and we’ve been blessed to have her.

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It’s ok to be happy and sad all at the same time.

I’m hanging on to happy to keep me afloat.

Happy Reading!

A little of this and that July 08, 2021

/ For the Love of Books / 3 Comments

I felt like celebrating! It’s been a long year of work related complex challenges and steep learning curves. That’s what happens when government agencies implement major updates in their departments leaving their users scrambling to deal with it. Today I cleared the last hurdle and I felt like partying. Too bad I was alone and it’s a work day.

I’m still feeling just as pleased and relieved, hours later.

On the other hand though, there was a thread of sadness running through my day. A beloved family member is experiencing declining health and all of us in the family are sad to see it. A very special lady. In her better days she was vibrant and full of energy. Always on the go, a force to be reckoned with. The stories we could tell are endless..

Speaking of stories. I have nothing to offer in the way of new books. No good suggestions from any direction today.

I did finish a book that I liked a lot, though. It’s still a bargain.

Hard Landing (Hope Landing Romantic Suspense Book 1)

Two wary souls get a second chance at love…if a killer doesn’t find them first.
When a stalker turns to murder, pilot Kelli Spencer needs protection. What she doesn’t need is her old love Jack Reese returning to stir things up, but the former Navy SEAL and his team of protection specialists are the best of the best.

Trust him with her life? If she has to. Trust him with her heart? No way.

The last time Jack left, he made it clear married life held no appeal. Ten years later, he wastes no time letting her know he hasn’t changed. Not that she’d be fool enough to hope.

As the commander of Knight Tactical, Jack jumps at the chance to protect Kelli and take down a killer, but as soon as she’s safe, he plans to shake the dust of the small mountain town off his feet again…until he realizes he never should have left the first time.

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I’ve barely started a new book. It starts off with a life threatening situation before it’s hardly even gone two pages. Reminds me of the opening scenes of Criminal Minds TV series. It seemed like a perfect time to work on a blog post.

I guess I need to remind myself they won’t be killing off the main character this close to the beginning.

Deadly Chances: Five romantic suspenses where couples outrace danger and take a chance on love

The one I’m reading:

DANGEROUS VICTORY
Car mechanic Valerie watched her father die in a fiery wreck and she can’t admit to herself that she’s in love with a Nascar race car driver Jackson, especially after he’s also injured in a crash. But when a stranger shows up, terrorizing her about a mysterious delivery from her uncle, Jackson is the only one who can navigate the danger with Valerie. It’s a race for survival, and a high speed adventure in love.

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I guess I’d better go back and see if she survived to see chapter two. This is still a bargain as well. Good deal.

Happy Reading.

Perfect timing

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It’s amazing how it happens. Perfect timing.

Yesterday’s post shared the idea of counselling in a book. Check it out here if you missed it… Love is a Choice

This morning, waiting in my inbox, was the regular email notification for the weekly podcast I follow faithfully. The content is always interesting and helpful, on a variety of topics. Today’s topic was especially meaningful on the heels of yesterday’s book. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect, the two books fit so well together.

The subject line of the email was an attention grabber.

A specific type of writing that will combat anxiety, depression, and symptoms from past trauma.

There was no way I could walk away from this podcast and leave it for another day. It had to be today. I watched it twice, it was packed that full. .

Today’s interviewee has written a book called The Power of Writing it Down.

Part of author/writing coach Allison Fallon’s target audience is the same crowd flocking to read Love is a Choice... Count me in.

The Power of Writing It Down: A Simple Habit to Unlock Your Brain and Reimagine Your Life

Partial Amazon synopsis:

For anyone who’s trying to make sense of their life, who wants to get unstuck from the patterns that hold them back, hear this incredible news: everything you need for the freedom you want is entirely within reach. This practice and pathway is free, it’s readily available every day of your life, it takes just minutes of your time, and anyone can do it. 

Author, writing coach, and speaker Allison Fallon’s life transformed when she discovered the power of a daily writing practice. As it turns out, using your words is one of the most powerful means you have for unlocking your life. The Power of Writing It Down is your guide to this transformative tool available to us all. In as little as five to twenty minutes a day, scientific research shows this daily practice can help you: 

  • Identify your ruts and create new neurological grooves toward better habits
  • Find fresh motivation and take ownership of your life
  • Heal from past pain and trauma
  • Relieve anxiety and depression
  • Contextualize life’s setbacks and minor frustrations
  • Live a more confident, balanced, and healthy life
  • …and so much more

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In the podcast interview she explains Expressive Writing well and mentioned that the writing talked about in her book is not regular writing and it’s not journaling. It makes a lot of sense.

The idea is to write down your deepest thought and feelings. I have experienced what she means when she says this type of writing accesses the subconscious part of the brain where the conscious is often not allowed.

This is basically what I do when I write my this and that posts. What comes out is often a surprise. With some of the posts, like I mentioned at the time of writing them, I was in the midst of angst and felt so much better when I was talked out. To really get into it, though, I expect most of it would not be something we’d want to share publicly.

I recommend listening to the interview before reading the book. I’m glad I did because hearing and seeing her will make the words on the page that much more real.

Practicing this form of writing will be helpful to everyone, not just the most broken among us.

Here is the link. Enjoy, and buy the book if it makes sense to you. I think you will be glad you did.

I haven’t been as intentional with this type of writing as is encouraged in her book. From ignorance, really. I want to try it her way, to see what the difference will be in my life.

I’m hoping you will discover this along with me.

Happy listening, reading, and writing.

A helpful resource – professional counselling in book form

/ For the Love of Books / 3 Comments

The level of professional counselling we need is sometimes not easily found. That was the case for me a decade or two ago and this book was a life saver. It was written as a joint effort by the Minirth/Meir group, both of them psychiatrists, joined by a third person, a psychologist.

The book starts off talking about codependency. That’s not the way I remember it from my first reading. It’s funny how that goes. The parts I remember are the ones explaining what happened to me, how it has affected me, and the broken way I do life as a result. Understanding opened many life changing doors in my thinking.

Of all of the many books I’ve read this one was the most comprehensive and impacting. It was written to be a counselor to those without access to one. It covers the subject well enough to be a textbook written in layman’s terms.

I’ve shared this book here before but feel inspired to share it again.

I was speaking with a long time friend today, catching up on our lives and families. Stuff happens in our families and sometimes there is brokenness left undiscovered for decades.

I’ve been thinking about our conversation for most of the day and tonight remembered about this book that could be helpful in their situation. So, this is for my friend, to share as she sees fit.

It’s for you too (as reader) if this would be helpful in your life.

One more comment. I remember interpreting the title and certain phrases in the synopsis in a negative way.

Reality was nothing like my expectations. Supportive, kind, understanding, helpful; these are all words I would use to describe the experience. And, validation.

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Love Is a Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships

Amazon quote:

Let go of unhealthy relationships with the book that more than 850K people have trusted.

Best-selling doctors, Hemfelt, Minirth, and Meier, walk you through their ten proven stages to recovery from codependency that results from external circumstances.

Humans are susceptible to codependency because of our sinful tendency to use defense mechanisms to fool ourselves. In codependent relationships, deceitful games are played, and important Christian principles are often taken out of context and abused.

God wants us to have healthy relationships with a balance between being dependent and independent. The doctors describe how the most effective means of overcoming codependent relationships is to establish or deepen a relationship with Christ Himself.

They describe the causes of codependency, pointing out the factors that perpetuate it, and lead readers through their ten stages of recovery.

Continue a deeper study with the Love Is a Choice workbook, available separately.

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Read this prayerfully with a surrendered heart and mind. I say this because our defense mechanisms can have us locked up so tight that helpful thoughts cannot penetrate the armor we have going on. Work on wanting to know. Work on believing there is hope, and that you are worth so much more than what you’ve been told.

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