writing

Story Prompt – Tooth

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Today’s weekly story prompt is hosted by Sunday Scribblings with peckapalooza The Confusing Middle and it’s …

Tooth

I can’t even begin to tell you how much I don’t want to talk about this subject. Considering that thought, I’m a little shocked myself. Since Wednesday, when this topic was announced I’ve been thinking about what I’d say and really, the conversation in my head wasn’t all that emotional. Guess I was wrong about just how hot this hot button issue is for me.

I’m not much of a believer in coincidence. Maybe the truth is, I need to talk about this subject more than I think I do. Blow off a little steam. That would be helpful. I’ve only been upset about this for five years. Tuesday could be the unexpected resolution to a long standing problem. Things would probably go better if I wasn’t an emotional mess about this.

The dispute with the dentist five years ago was over differing opinions on tooth removal. I was told it would be unethical.

I’m a woman, it’s my body. An abortion would not be considered unethical (if I wanted one, which I don’t) so why would having all my teeth pulled be considered unethical? Pulling teeth over taking a life? Makes no sense to me.

Of course I did what I always do when I’m boiling mad. Cried. And that made me even madder. Still does. If I had the ability to stomp my feet, shout, and create a scene, maybe things would have gone my way but I don’t and they didn’t.

They said unethical but I think the term was used as a smoke screen. Pulling my teeth would be like killing the cow. Fiscally, not a good move for them. Well, they may as well have pulled them because I haven’t been back.

In their arrogance they wouldn’t listen to me and figured they knew best. I’ve lived with my teeth for a lot of years and spent untold money, and hours, in the dentist chair. The rate of deterioration had increased dramatically and I could see the writing on the wall. Between money and pain, it was no longer worth it. On top of that, almost half of my teeth were already gone anyway, let’s just do it all and be done.

Since aggression was out, I did the only thing I could do, nothing. I figured if I let things take their natural course without remedy, someone would eventually look in my mouth and agree with my assessment. Mind you, I’m not sure how that would happen since I haven’t looked for a new dentist (what’s the point, they would probably agree with the other guy.) I have to say the damage in the last five years has been significant – cavities, broken teeth, large fillings gone, teeth starting to lean over.

Here’s the reason I think the end for this issue may be near, finally.

I’ve recently been to a doctor (as opposed to the Dr dentist) for the first time in ten years. Doctors taking patients are not easy to find these days and to be honest, I was in no hurry to see one. In the course of the getting-to-know-you section of the visit I showed him my issues with a chronic skin condition. I assumed it was a psoriasis (looked like it to me) which is about impossible to get rid of. It seems now it could be something else. Related to my mouth. They will do a biopsy on Tuesday to make a conclusive diagnosis. If it is connected to my mouth maybe that’s my ticket out of here. (at least, for my teeth, not me)

My only reason for wanting to see a doctor was a routine check up, I had no identifiable health issues, aside from getting old. I’ve been praying and stressing over my teeth for a long time, maybe this unusual route is the answer to all of that. I sure hope so.

I have to say, Tooth was an excellent choice for today’s theme. I feel so much better now, after getting all this off my chest.

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It was interesting how this whole doctor thing came about.

I’ve lived here eight years now without one. They have a doctor finder thing you can sign up for, which I did, and every few months they send an email saying they haven’t found anything but they will keep trying. I wanted local and they are scarce in my area.

Anyway, my kids were stressing a little over how long it’s been since I’ve seen anyone and they were worried. They had reason to be, my son-in-law’s father suddenly died recently from an undiagnosed problem with his heart.

I’ve been feeling a little punky for a while now but it’s no big deal, pretty nebulous really. I prayed, Lord, do I need to see a doctor? A few days later I received the regular email telling me the usual, no doctor – we will keep trying, and a day after that the Doctor Finder fellow called me saying there were doctors available in my area. In short order I had an appointment.

With the initial history taking and assessment he was very pleased, figuring my risk factors for major disease were very low. I left there thinking Lord, if I needed to see a doctor, why did nothing show up? I’d had blood work done and everything there looked normal. A week or so later the report came back in regard to the pictures sent to the dermatologist.

If that was the issue needing attention and my dental worries would finally be taken care of, I’d be a happy camper. I’m sure my overall health would improve too if the damaged teeth were out of there. Here’s hoping as we await the biopsy results.

I can’t say I’m thrilled with the idea of losing all my teeth but it won’t be the end of the world. Like a tree that bends in the wind, I will adapt.

Story prompt – Valentine

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Today’s story prompt … Valentine

What’s the first thing to pop into your head?

Bah-Humbug!

Just call me Ms Scrooge.

It’s true. I read romance novels, lots of them. I read them, enjoy them, and don’t believe a word they say.

Fairy tales, I tell you.

Ok. So I will admit, there are some people out there who truly do know how to love honestly and well. I will admit there are some but my head says they are few and far between.

I still say – Bah Humbug! And no ghost is going to be changing my mind!

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Story Prompt is hosted by Sunday Scribblings

One more bargain Feb 06, 2021

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This bargain book was recommended by a writer friend, (not that I know her personally or anything, I’ve just read a multitude of her books,) and I value her opinion. Author Terrie Todd is new to me but reading the first chapter gives me confidence it will be a good book so I’m going for it.

Maggie’s War

Amazon quote:

A Word Award winner.

In 1942, telegrams always bring life-altering and tragic news in a war-hardened world—and the one Maggie Marshall receives is no different. But running a restaurant with the help of only pregnant, unwed girls has taught her to be tough. Maggie’s no weeping widow, but Charlotte Penfield thinks she’s the most unfeeling woman on earth. Seventeen, exiled by her wealthy parents, and working in the restaurant, fanciful Charlotte runs away with romantic notions of a reunion with her baby’s father at his military camp.

It has been years since Maggie darkened the church door of her pastor and childhood friend, Reverend Reuben Fennel, and his heart breaks for the hardened woman Maggie’s become. When she seeks his help to find Charlotte, he’s happy to aid her in the chase—though it may cost him his job and reputation.

Over the miles from Winnipeg to Fort William, Reuben and Maggie’s journey rekindles their affection—and their dreams of what they still could be. But Maggie stubbornly clings to her independent ways until she’s dealt another devastating loss, one that forces her to recognize that heroes can be discovered in unlikely places and love may be far sweeter than she ever dared imagine.

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I ordered another book today, it was a translation by one of our local writers. Originally, this book was printed in Europe in the 1800s and was popular then. Robert Stermscheg translated it to English and his introductory blog post for the book is scheduled to be shared here on this site tomorrow morning. Be sure to watch for it. The Prussian Lieutenant

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It looks like we have a military theme going on here.

Happy Reading once again.

Story prompt – Compliment

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I must compliment you both. It’s inspiring the way you complement one another.

Compliments are amazing things, often underestimated, I think.

It seems, if some of the stories I’ve read are to be believed, there are segments of society reluctant to give compliments because they are thought to encourage pride. Then there are other segments who are just plain mean and abusive. Not only do they not give compliments, they pile on the insults.

I love stories where a kind heart recognizes worth and goes to great lengths to promote healthy self-esteem in the down trodden.

There is a popular old story I’ve never forgotten. A young farmer was looking for a wife. He picked a young woman, shy and insecure, with literally no marriage prospects. The village people could not understand his choice, in their estimation she had nothing to offer as a farmer’s wife.

The going bride price was two cows. He chose to pay double that. Four cows was unheard of, never mind for a wife with so few talents to recommend her.

He took her home, treated her like a precious treasure and over time she blossomed to became all he knew she could be.

Compliments are powerful and for us to blossom we need them as much as we need food and water. At least that’s what I think.

Then there is complement. (to make complete)

How many stories have I read lately where the author pairs characters because they complement each other. The restaurant owner who is an awesome chef and a hopeless bookkeeper. The female ranch owner struggling with endless heavy chores requiring a man’s strength. Or even the one tasked with jobs requiring two or more people to meet deadlines. How many of us would kill ourselves trying before we would ever reach out.

It’s not easy admitting we need help. I know I struggle with that. Last summer I chose to fight to prune small trees myself rather than ask. My neighbor who is taller, heavier, stronger, (never mind younger) would have gladly helped.

In stories there is often a stubborn character who will not ask or even allow someone to help. Of course, one of the requirements of a good novel is tension and stubborn provides that in spades. By the end, though, they are working together and life is rosy.

It happens that way in real life too if we let it. We’re better together. Especially when our talents complement one another.

I like these two words.

The same only different.

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Story Prompt is hosted by Sunday Scribblings

What to say…

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I’m at a loss for words. After missing several days in my daily blog I need to find something to say. I’m feeling emotionally wrung out, maybe that’s why my mind is empty. I’ll just have to start and see what happens. It will surprise me as much as it will you, guaranteed. It’s funny how one thing leads to another and rabbit holes appear out of nowhere…

Today was the day for our monthly writers group Zoom call. Since I’m part of the executive there is always a feeling of self inflicted pressure to be a good participant not just a passive observer. As an introvert, fly-on-the-wall is where I would rather be. I was trying to be rested and relaxed ready for the camera but it wasn’t working out all that well for me. I started out stressed, like it or not.

Going into the week, I didn’t have an active part in the meeting. That all changed when the agenda came out and I found I was down for a book review. In the end we had more than enough readers (to share stories that would be critiqued) and there was no time for the my contribution. It didn’t get used but it was good writing practice, working on the review was not a total waste.

It’s funny how things happen sometimes. I had been thinking several days ago about my style of writing and the type of critique I would like to have. The thing is, I’m often not sure if what I have to say makes sense. Feedback would be helpful. I think I assume people know certain things already and tend to write in note form with little detail. My first clue I do this is when, days later, I read what I’ve written. Sometimes I have no idea what exactly I was getting at. So, going back to the most recent review I’d posted I found myself with a chance to work on making sense.

The review definitely needed to be reworked and expanded. It was a good exercise in figuring out how much extra detail needed to be included. I’ll try to do better the next time I write something like a review or thoughts (like now maybe.)

So, getting back to today’s Zoom meeting. It did the heart good to see everyone again even though we couldn’t be in the same room together. Five members read their stories, each one personal and unique.

They were all good but the one I appreciated most tore us all apart. It was a very raw and real sharing of a lengthy journey with parkinsons. What she has been through, and will continue to go through, is heartbreaking. Yet she has such a positive outlook on life. We could see it cost her dearly to be honest with us. We felt honored to be trusted enough for the privilege of hearing her story.

Today was a day we will not soon forget.

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I’m going to pick up a fast food hamburger and then the mail (it’s been several weeks and I need to get out.) When I come back I’ll see if this still makes sense to me.

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Well, I’ve made changes. I’m not sure it’s enough but time’s getting away on me. At least I’ve finished supper, washed the pile of dishes waiting for me and played a few games on the computer while I was thinking.

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Tomorrow is story prompt day. The word is Resolution. Guess I’m not done thinking for the night quite yet.

Story Prompt – Houseplants

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Houseplants

Many of my best memories are attached to houseplants. I can’t say that I am a plant lover but I loved the ones I had because of where they came from.

Growing up we had outside plants. Flower beds and vegetable gardens. We probably would have had houseplants if there was a place to put them. I was ok with no houseplants. We had cats and dogs, that was enough.

Living on my own with my first job, I didn’t have plants or animals. I was ok with it.

Things changed with the addition of a father-in-law.

Most of Dad’s life his family was in the nursery business, he loved plants. The climate was mild where they lived and they were able to grow things in their greenhouses year round. Eventually they became florists as well. They had the flowers so why not. By the time I met him he had scaled back on greenhouses and was buying plants for the flower shop from other growers.

He had this idea that everyone needed plants and he took pleasure in providing them. Whenever he came our way on a buying trip, well, we became the proud owners of new plants. There was no question in his mind that we needed and wanted them, which was pretty funny really, and very sweet.

He would even bring cut flowers occasionally, freesias were my favorite.

We moved many times over the course of the years and the plants always went with us. That is, if they were still alive and able to be moved. Our Fiscus fig tree eventually became too big and needed a new home. We had mixed emotions because Dad had given us the tree as a small plant and it had a lot of miles on it.

Looking at the plants spread through the house was always a reminder of the giver and the time and place. I think that was my favorite part about having plants. The memories.

Over the years, other people would bless us with cuttings from plants we admired. It was nice to have reminders. It seemed we were forever leaving friends behind with our many moves.

Eventually life happened and the plants all went by the wayside, for one reason or another. And then there were none, I was ok with it for a lot of years.

As happens sometimes, all good things must come to an end.

My neighbor had two large plants needing to be farmed out while she had long term house guests. Long term seems to have turned into forever. (I have tried to give them back, numerous times, I can’t argue with the fact I have more room than she does.)

A couple of summers ago I was on a long road trip where I visited with family friends. They have a menagerie of African violets and Spider plants and decided I needed to have some too. I wasn’t sure they would survive the long trip home but they did.

Since then I’ve gained several more plants from local family members.

Things have come full circle and once again I have a house full of reminders of folks who love to give me houseplants.

I love the reminders.

Story prompt was courtesy of Sunday Scribbling hosted by Peckapaloosa: The Confusing Middle

Book Review – Undetected

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If I had a 100 Favorites book list this would be on it. This is the 480 page book mentioned yesterday as my possible next read. Once started, I’m no longer sure why it took me so long to get around to it. I imagine I thought it was a stressful thriller when really (by comparison) it’s a milder romance.

Undetected

Amazon synopsis:

When asked what he does for a living . . .

Commander Mark Bishop is deliberately low-key: “I’m in the Navy.” But commanding the ballistic missile submarine USS Nevada, keeping her crew trained and alert during ninety-day submerged patrols, and being prepared to launch weapons on valid presidential orders, carries a burden of command like few other jobs in the military. Mark Bishop is a man who accepts that responsibility, and handles it well. And at a time when tensions are escalating around the Pacific Rim, the Navy is glad to have him.

Mark wants someone to come home to after sea patrols. The woman he has in mind is young, with a lovely smile, and very smart. She’s a civilian, yet she understands the U.S. Navy culture. And he has a strong sense that life with her would never be boring. But she may be too deep in her work to see the potential in a relationship with him.

Gina Gray would love to be married. She has always envisioned her life that way. A breakup she didn’t see coming, though, has her focusing all her attention on what she does best–ocean science research. She’s on the cusp of a major breakthrough, and she needs Mark Bishop’s perspective and help. Because what she told the Navy she’s figured out is only the beginning. If she’s right, submarine warfare is about to enter a new and dangerous chapter.

I was sad when this story ended. That’s my only complaint.

On the other hand, there are so many things about this book that I loved.

It was definitely engaging.

The research that must have gone into this story is mind boggling. The extensive technical descriptions of life on a armed submarine were highly detailed and believable, to me anyway. I found the life and discoveries of a scientific genius were also detailed and believable. The third part of all this involves the interactions of the characters. The relationships were complex and surprising in the unexpected way they played out.

There were 480 pages and every one of them was savored. Well, almost every one, there may have been a handful of scattered pages describing scenes on the sub where I skimmed a little. The need to read every single page doesn’t happen to me very often but it did for sure this time.

There was a mountain of technical information but at no point did I feel like I was being fed or educated. Dee Henderson has the show-not-tell method conquered.

When I think about the deep complexity of every aspect of this story, I am left shaking my head in wonder. I cannot imagine what it would take to write like this. I would guess that depth in a book is reflective of depth in the author, I think it would be difficult to write what isn’t in you to begin with. Dee Henderson has it in spades.

I was in love with the characters and the life they were living (with all it’s stresses and challenges) I did not want the book to end.

And that’s how it should be.

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I’m not sure where I will go next, This reading experience will be a hard act to follow. I think I need to savor it a bit before deciding on the next book.

Going forward, I’m tempted to start a 100 Favorite Books list with Undetected as the first added to the lineup.

A little this, a little that, at Christmas

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This is story prompt Sunday. The word was Jolly. I feel happy and jolly, but totally pulled a blank when it came to anything jolly worth writing about. It’s not a great day for book suggestions either so it will be a this and that kind of a blog day.

I’m good with it. Many thoughts are busily floating through my mind at the moment. As usual, I don’t have any of this planned out. It will be another lets see where we end up post. I’m currently feeling upbeat and I’m pretty sure the post will sound that way too. I don’t want to take a chance with the good vibes I’ve got going on.

I will admit, briefly, that the lead up to this week was anything but jolly. There were a number of emotionally charged things going on and it all brought me to a place where, for days, I just wanted to cry. I couldn’t figure out why. I thought maybe if I gave in to the need the pressure would ease. There were no tears, so that idea was of no value. One thing did help, I counted up all the stresses over the previous week. That explained a lot. Once you get past a certain number a melt down is inevitable.

I worried that a lock-down covid Christmas would only make things worse. Thankfully the opposite happened.

It all began on the 21st when things started out sideways. My daughter-in-law talked about a video call at 4 pm, my eldest and his family. When it didn’t come at four as suggested I thought it wasn’t happening after all. Part way through a piece of blueberry pie my cell phone rang with a video call. No time for primping. I can laugh about it now.

Our whole family gets along well and has a lot of fun together but, scattered all over the country we don’t see each other very often. None of us are good with phone calls either. When we do talk though, it goes on for hours. After three hours I’d seen most of the house and talked with everyone in the house. It was just what I needed.

The next night we had scheduled a full family Zoom call. The first one we’ve ever had as a group and it was four hours of awesome. Nothing fancy or spectacular just the simple joy of being together and seeing each other. I think a few grandkids and a spouse or two may have checked out after awhile and left us to it.

I think part of the reason we were all fully in the moment was the recent loss of an extended family member. It reminded us of the fragility of life. Some of us are not getting any younger and the sudden, unexpected passing could have been any one of us. It sounds like we are going to commit to regular monthly visits while we still can. Just not four hours long. I’m couldn’t be happier about the promise of more visits.

Christmas Eve I delivered gifts to my daughter’s family in the city. I didn’t plan to stay long with covid restrictions in place but I was there long enough to see most of another family Zoom call with the extended side of the family. They enjoy each other immensely too and it was a treat to experience their interactions.

I enjoy all of the families my kids have married into. I feel very blessed. Most, if not all of us, find it easy to allow others into our family circles and it’s awesome.

So, aside from conversations I had fun with gifts this year.

I usually just give the teen-aged boys money. I’m a lousy shopper and I want them to be happy. I fully intended to use that method again this year but at the last minute changed my mind and ordered something. It wasn’t a new thought, I’ve been wanting to do it for awhile now but waffled.

I gave them a family Christmas card explaining that I decided to spend their money for them, the gift would be arriving before the 31st and it is a secret. I know they will love the gift. In the meantime curiosity is driving them crazy. It’s a good thing I’m not with them or they would be dragging it out of me. Anticipation is a good thing sometimes.

Included in the bag with the card was a couple of big bags of variety junk food, flavored chips, and three books. Big books.

Several years ago when their cousins (my other grandkids) were visiting I gifted them with a couple of full bags of books. My goal was to find stories they could get hooked on and from there develop a love of reading. I had selection help from a nerdy, teen-age book-lover sales clerk so I knew the options offered were good.

I held back three books (all part of a series with stand alone books) waiting for them to be in need of more reading material. Middle boy is the book lover, boys one and three – not so much… not yet anyway. The distress over the thought of such long books was hilarious. Their dad said he would give oldest boy fifty dollars if he read the whole 600 pages. (If dad was serious about the reward I think I will make a contribution to the incentive. Must check it out.)

Their reaction was no surprise and I didn’t take it personally. Reading is such an important skill, I wanted to do my part to provide tempting reading material. One day they will find a book they love. Aside from that, it gets easier with practice so any book they read will take them in the right direction.

I know they will be happy with the gift when it arrives, It will have them forgetting all about books, I’m sure.

I was unsure how I would feel about coming home to an empty house at this time of year. Usually I would stay with them for a few days to make the most of the season.

Once in a while, when I return from a family visit, grief at being alone will hit me like an unexpected tidal wave. It didn’t happen this time. I think there were several reasons. My emotional tank was refilled with the many hours spent with my family. (virtual works for me.) At the same time someone was praying for me. A friend mentioned I have been on her mind lately and she’s been praying for me even though she had no idea what the need was. I can still feel the comfort of her prayers wrapped all around me. I am grateful beyond words.

It was in answer to my prayers too. Earlier in the week I had cried out to God in my despair and he answered me. (there is a bible verse that says it like that). The change was so dramatic it feels like a miracle.

So, that’s my story. It has been an unexpectedly good Christmas and I still feel good.

(I hope the same for you)