Boys turn into men

It’s a sad/happy day for Grandma when her little boys grow up. Today was proof. The river of life moves on and things change. I can’t help feeling some sadness but thankfully that’s not all I feel. My daughter’s eldest passed his drivers test today and is now the proud owner of a new licence. I’m proud of him too.

Along with this news I heard a rumor, something about him taking over taxi duties for his younger brothers. His mother seems rather happy about this.

Of course, there have been signs long before now. Voices dropping to the lower ranges, Faces losing the boyish look. Taller, much taller. Then there’s the day of the last sleep over. You pop your head in to say good night and see him lounging on the bed. It’s a blow to the heart. This is a young man, he’s not a little boy any more.

There is something special about a relationship with a child. They are excited to stay at Grandma’s house. We play games, watch movies, have sleepovers lasting several days. Plan on hot dogs with macaroni and cheese. Sure… we can have pie for breakfast. Precious memories.

It’s funny how the view changes from mom to grandma. I didn’t lose much sleep when my own three were old enough to have drivers licences. I was counting my blessings having someone take over taxi duty.

I’m delighted to see my grandsons grow into awesome young men. There will be more good times, the memories will just be different. In fact they may even be better. Games will take on a whole new look when they actually understand the rules for play. There’s a good chance I may never win again. Hmmm. Maybe not better.

Of course it’s better.

******************

Connection – what is it?

Two things are on my mind today.

It’s story prompt day and the word is Time. My last post talked about a New Years resolution which basically acknowledged it was Time for change. The definition for connection (in relation to my friendship resolution) has been on my mind recently so I’m going to combine the two thoughts. To quote a blogger friend ” it’s my blog and I can do what I like” so I guess he won’t complain about my unusual treatment of his prompt.

The whole concept of connection has been percolating in my mind and heart for decades. Through the years many marriage related books found their way into our home but the first solid memory of a discussion centered on connection was a radio program called Love, Sex, and Relationships, with pastors John and Helen Burns. They had many good, practical things to say but one phrase standing out above all the rest was into-me-see. Connection requires intimacy and intimacy in practical terms is defined as into-me-see. Eyes without shutters are crucial.

Our first thought of intimacy is physical in relation to a significant other. In reality it is not physical and applies to every type of relationship. If we’ve built walls of protection, generally speaking, they will apply to all of our relationships to one degree or another.

By John and Helen Burns (and many other’s) definition into-me-see only happens through the eyes, the windows of our souls, the keeper of our secrets. Without the eyes there is no connection. I do know this. I wish I didn’t. (with a good relationship I would also have known this and been glad I did.) Physical intimacy becomes intimate on a whole new level when the eyes meet and hold.

The good news is that varying degrees of connection can be found in varying types of relationships. This is encouraging since we are made for connection. We shrivel without having it on some level and since many of us remain single it’s nice to know friends and acquaintances can fill the void. That will be the challenge.

Friends is where we most often encounter walls still firmly in place. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately in my quest to leave my hermitage behind. Connection is difficult to find. Friendships on a superficial level are easy. I have a number of friends who are willing and even eager to hear the details of my broken life but, it’s a one way street with little-to-no reciprocation. There is a lack of satisfaction in these friendships and I’ve been mediating on why that is. I recognize deep hurts they aren’t willing to share. Is it the not sharing that bothers me most?

No. It seems I’m good with people not telling me their story. It’s the walls that are the problem. Up or down, there is a different vibe. Walls-down there is a softness with approachability, walls-up there is a harshness with keep out signs. It’s harshness I find myself most often responding to.

I can remember how hard it was to let people in. I can also remember what a freeing experience it was and continues to be. I’ve learned that lowering my walls doesn’t mean I have to tell all to everyone. I can use discretion. The important thing is, it may only be one person I tell but I’ve stopped keeping secrets.

I don’t think I’m all that different from anyone else. We all need connection. Many of us have walls we struggle to bring down. It is not easy to find a good friend.

My New Years resolution: it’s time to be proactive with maintaining neglected friendships and make myself available for new ones. It’s time to stop hiding. Covid and it’s restrictions have caused a deeper need for connection. It takes more work under these conditions to find it.

Only time will tell how well I do with my resolution and whether or not I’m successful at finding connection.

Another this-and-that kind of day.

Another day already, when I have nothing much on my mind. No book suggestions or read books to share. Not a whole lot has been going on in my head either, although I will admit to a few persistent half thoughts. There are some sad parts to my musings but I promise this won’t be a downer conversation. At least I hope not.

I don’t know about you, but I find it takes me years sometimes (most times, actually) to realize I need to change some things. That’s kind of where I’m at right now. I’m gradually waking up to the need for action.

I know I’ve mentioned some of this thinking before but it’s all part of the lead-up to where I’m at today. Ready to make a New Years resolution. Something I rarely do. I hope it sticks and I follow through on it.

When I take an honest look back, I’ve been a loner my whole life. Most memories that come to mind easily are solo activities. Even the years when I had friends and boy friends. My role was always passive, never taking initiative in planning a get together or outing. As an adult I planned things now and then but they were usually group activities.

I’ve always accepted invitations if they were issued and spent time with people when we were thrown together in public gatherings. Through the years I’ve been a lot of places and seen a lot of faces (that’s from a song running through my head right now) and have a large number of people I can call friend, although you wouldn’t know that by the 91 friends I’ve allowed on Face Book.

Probably the underlying thought behind my hermit behavior is if you really knew me you wouldn’t like me. I will even admit, because of this mindset, I have been guilty of sabotaging friendships. Not that I was aware of it at the time. Hindsight sees things more clearly.

I’ve been on my own for a lot of years and I’ve been okay with it. At least I had convinced myself I was happy with it. Covid has changed so much of that thinking. Restrictions have caused pressure, kind of like turning up the heat until it’s unbearable. All of a sudden, emotionally, I’m not okay with it. I’m being forced to take a hard look at the way I do life.

There is an honest evaluation driving my resolution. I need to start taking a responsible role in maintaining friendships, instead of just letting life happen.

In a way this idea has already begun rolling, starting with Zoom type communication with family. Out of casual conversation I took pictures of my puzzle collection, that way my daughter and her friend can borrow what they like. My neighbor popped over, (can’t remember why now) saw the puzzles spread all over the floor and went home with an armful.

It’s Christmas. I’ve responded to some today but there are more neglected emails to answer, cards to send, and phone calls to make.

None of this will take place unless I care. Covid has turned up the heat with all it’s restrictions and now I care. I hope it lasts.

******************

A lengthy telephone conversation with an elderly relative yesterday showed we are struggling with similar emotions. It was fun laughing together, it brightened both of our days. Must call her more often.

A little of this and a little of that

This is one of those days. There’s a need to say something, anything at all, to fill the space. I’ve no idea where this is going but hopefully it’s somewhere good.

It crosses my mind that it helps that this isn’t live. I can keep going with the rewrites until I’m happy, sort of.

On second thought though, live could possibly be more fun.

So anyway, several weeks ago I put up my Christmas tree and I’ve been dying to talk about it. After at least two years of no tree, this year I had the urge to change all that. It felt a little weird to decide November was a good time to do this but everyone else in the neighborhood has lights up so I thought why not.

I’ve always loved sitting in a dim room with just the tree lights on. They are soft and pretty and make me feel happy somehow. This seemed like a good year to have pretty lights, with all the covid issues our country is experiencing right now. It turns out I’m onto something. They were talking about tree lights having a positive effect on our emotions. Endorphins or something like that.

*****************

I like keeping it close in this new spot for a few reasons.

With all the leaves off the trees I feel rather exposed sitting in front of the windows like I do. When I was moaning about this to my daughter she suggested putting the tree here beside me and it’s turned out to be a great idea. After a few more tweaks, (not shown here) it’s perfect to hide behind and it looks good to the neighbors across the fence.

(The tree looks short in this picture but it’s actually taller than I am.) (My brothers’ comment would be – that’s not saying much. They are soooo mean while they are looking down on the top of my head)

I used to put the tree in the front room for the neighbors on that side but I spend more time at this table. This way I see the lights more often. Especially if I get my nose out of a book long enough to notice my surroundings.

I’m not sure why I can spend hours sitting at this table to read. Maybe it’s because my feet touch the floor and the seat is padded.

************

Having mood lifting lights this year has turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

Last Saturday, someone close to our family passed away very suddenly.

He stopped in at a friends before heading to the grocery store that morning. Once there he began to feel unwell. Some trouble breathing, some chest pain. He drove back to the friend who took him to the hospital. His vitals all looked good but they kept him for observation and the friend went home. An hour later the hospital called. He was gone, just like that.

No one knows why. He was seemingly a healthy man. I guess they will investigate because of the circumstances. We would all like to know what happened.

One thing out of it all is amazing to me, and a touching blessing.

He lived alone. I don’t think anyone ever went to his house, not very often anyway.

The awesome thing is – he didn’t die alone in his house or on the floor in the middle of a store. He died lying on a bed in the best and most appropriate place he could possibly be. His family knew where he was and were there quickly. If it had to happen it couldn’t had been planned any better than that.

Maybe this means a lot to me because I worry about such things. Probably more than I realize.

Somehow, the gentleness of the circumstances has made it easier to think of him as gone. Especially so close to Christmas. His family will miss him. We all will.

The shock is fading a little for me and that helps. I pray it is for his family too.

In the meantime, I buried my nose in a book most of the weekend and have more read books to share soon.

My current read is enjoyable and I’m looking forward to getting a few more pages in before lights out. (I’d best quit with the edits if I want that to happen)

Walk with Me: A Christian Faith Clean Romance (Faith and Love Book 1)

Amazon quote:

He just wants to help.
She is determined to do it all herself—and not fall in love.

Three years ago, Paige Kelly had to leave college to take care of her five younger siblings after their parents’ death. She has no time for romance and even less interest in her new boss and his curiosity about her life. Getting attached would only mean getting hurt.

Russell Pierce just returned to his hometown to become manager of the country club. He never planned on an office romance, but he can’t stop thinking about his alluring restaurant manager with the weight of the world on her shoulders. He wants to help, but she wants nothing to do with him. 

Paige can’t imagine starting a relationship with anyone, and Russell needs to focus on work. Despite their reluctance, their genuine connection and undeniable attraction grow harder to avoid when they collaborate on a new project, leaving them both to re-evaluate what they thought they wanted.

****************

Today was a slow day for new and interesting book suggestions, hopefully tomorrow will be better.

In the meantime ….

Happy Reading

and enjoy some Christmas lights.

Free books October 27, 2020

LPC Books has FREE suggestions for us.

After the Storm (Finding Love in the Low Country Book 1)

Amazon quote:

Sharon cannot face her future until she has dealt with her past. 

When an accident takes everyone in her family except Sharon Martin’s grandson, she is forced to face the secrets of her past. For decades she has protected herself and “his family” from the damage this secret could cause. But when Bobby’s well-being depends on her honesty, will she have the courage to speak the truth? When tragedy strikes, can love and honesty save a life?

******************

Starving Hearts (Triangular Trade Trilogy Book 1) 

Amazon quote:

“The author did a great job, maybe too great a job, describing the slave scenes. Spine tingling and suspenseful. I was biting my nails throughout much of this book.” ~ Amazon review

Plagued by nightmares, Annette yearns to find her anonymous rescuer — the man who saved her life from a near deadly assault. Deep inside she is starving for companionship and a mutually respectful relationship. When Mr. Peter Adsley, an abolitionist pastor dealing with his own emotional baggage, agrees to a clandestine meeting, the event appears providential. But self-doubt, deception, and the schemes of a mutual enemy threaten to keep the pair apart. A phantom adversary will stop at nothing to win Annette’s dowry for himself, even if it means killing Peter.

******************

Chapel Springs Revival (Chapel Springs Series Book 1)

Amazon quote:

With a friend like Claire, you need a gurney, a mop, and a guardian angel.

Everybody in the small town of Chapel Springs, Georgia, knows best friends Claire Bennett and Patsy Kowalski. It’s impossible not to, what with Claire’s zany antics and Patsy’s self-appointed mission to keep her friend out of trouble. And trouble abounds.

During an early morning discussion at Dees ‘n’ Doughs bakery with their ladies group, all Chapel Springs entrepreneurs, attention is drawn to the slackened tourist trade. With their livelihoods threatened, they join forces to address the town’s revitalization in hopes of drawing back the tourists. No one could have guessed the real issue needing restoration is their marriages.

****************

My current read is the conclusion to a 5 book family series. Strong characters, every one of them, each one as different as can be.

Ruby Jane: The Montana Marshalls – An Inspirational Romantic Suspense Family Series

Amazon quote:

She loved…and lost.

Ruby Jane never thought she’d meet the man of her dreams while running from the police in Russia. That he’d steal her heart on a train to Siberia. But loving a former CIA officer comes with a price…a life of danger. A life of high stakes.

A life where he simply disappears…

He has no memory of the man he was.

Mack Jones has no memory of his past…just the dark sense that he is hiding. And, he wants to stay that way. Mack likes the life he’s built in a small tourist town, tucked away beyond the mountains, and has no desire to dig around in the gray areas of his memory.

When his place of business catches fire and Mack rescues the owner, he makes the news, which of course alerts the past he’s hoping to outrun.

The only person who can help him is a mysterious woman he doesn’t remember.

But a woman he desperately needs.

The surprising, thrilling conclusion to the Montana Marshalls series.

**********************

Happy Reading …

… on this chilly morning in southern Manitoba. -7C with the possibility of a little snow.

It’s crazy … this weather.

The grass is green and needs another cut but some of it is under snow. The petunias are green and alive but the soil around them is stiff with frost making it hard to clean them up for the winter. The weeds are still growing for heaven sakes, and it’s too cold to go out and get rid of them.

I’m sure you know how sad I’m feeling about all this. Really …. deeply sad.

Where’s my book??

Free and bargain books October 20, 2020

BookRunes has a FREE Christmas suggestion by an author I’ve never read. I always (or mostly always) read the first few pages just to get an idea of what I’m in for. Sometimes I get the wrong idea but more often than not it turns out well and I’m left feeling glad about saying yes.

All that to say, I’m taking a chance on both of these books, just for starters. I say that because if I say only two then something else will be sure to show up before we’re done and I’ll be a liar and have to change this paragraph.

A Wish for Christmas (The Happy Holidays Series Book 3)

Amazon quote:

Heat Level: Low
Laugh Level: High

More than anything, India Ramone wants to give her daughter, her younger brother, and her elderly grandfather a Christmas they deserve. After the death of her mother, the last two years have been rough and money is tight. A full-time nursing student, she feels her prayers have been answered with the temporary job of personal assistant to John Laurencelli. The billionaire is rumored to be demanding and difficult but India soon realizes there’s more to him than bad press and weapons-grade dangerous good looks. But with everything on her plate, she doesn’t have time to be falling for her new boss.

John Laurencelli lives, eats, and breathes his business and making money. For his own reasons, he’s avoided Christmas for two decades. But it’s proving difficult this year when his new assistant wears vintage holiday aprons, hums Christmas tunes, and likes to spread good cheer. Despite his determination not to celebrate the season, it isn’t long before India opens his eyes to what’s missing in his life.

Can they overcome their fears and misgivings to make it a truly wonderful Christmas for each other?

***************

This next one comes via BookBub, it’s a bargain and a complete change of pace. The first was lighthearted. This one is not. But it does come highly recommended. I think I may have read this author once before but I’m not really sure.

Someone to Blame 

Amazon quote:

When a stranger wanders into a small coastal town, crimes suddenly multiply. Everyone is eager to find someone to blame . . .

In the wake of heartrending family tragedies, Matt and Irene Moore move with their fourteen-year-old daughter, Casey, to a small town. Their goal is to get far away from the daily reminders that leave each of them raw and guilt-ridden. Their hope is to find redemption, repair, and renewal. Instead, the threads that hold them together unravel even more. Breakers, a small community perched on the rocky coast of the Pacific Northwest, is draped with cold isolation that seems to mirror the hearts.

For the Moore family, blame is personal, harsh, and merciless … as their lives become entangled with this drifter and they have to face the truths they desperately want to hide from.

As they settle into their new life, old grief settles with them. Matt is always on edge and easily angered, Irene is sad and pensive, and Casey is confused and defiant. They’ve once more set the stage for calamity. Into this mix comes Billy Thurber, a young drifter with his own conflicts, whose life unexpectedly entangles with the Moores’. His arrival in Breakers parallels a rash of hateful and senseless crimes, and soon the whole town – eager for someone to blame – goes after Thurber with murderous intent.

Out of this dangerous chaos, however, the Moores find unexpected grace and healing in a most unlikely way. Author C. S. Lakin explores our need to assign reason and fix blame for the pain and grief in our lives. Though the circumstances are fictional, the emotions are real and universal, making Someone to Blame a great and inspiring read.

*******************

Yesterday This Quiet Sky was one of our downloads and I said it would be next in line on my reading list – if I still remembered by the time I got to it.

I did get to it before I forgot. I made a special point of it

It wasn’t a long read. And I loved every minute of it, even though tissues were needed often. The author is amazing with this heart wrenching story. Her telling is so beautiful even while it makes you cry.

I would urge you to read it, it is worth every one of the five stars I gave it. A story that will touch you on such a deep and profound level does not come along very often.

This Quiet Sky

Amazon quote:

There is nothing extraordinary about Tucker O’Shay’s dreams.
Go to college. Become president. Fall in love.
And pretend like he has enough time to get it all done.

Sixteen-year-old Sarah Miller doesn’t expect anything out of the ordinary when she begins her first day at the one-room-school house in her new hometown of Rocky Knob. But when she meets seventeen-year-old Tucker O’Shay—the boy with the fatal illness who volunteers to tutor her in algebra—she finds herself swept up in a friendship that changes the way she sees the world and a love that changes her life.

***********************

I would tell you what I’m reading now except it feels wrong to change the mood. I want to feel the memory of This Quiet Sky a little while longer.

Next time.

Grandma, I still miss her

I think I posted this tribute once before but can’t find it anywhere… so here it is again. Especially for my brother who is trying to find the blog he keeps hearing about.

I even mentioned he should follow me if he finds this. He claims he gets so many annoying notifications he’s not sure he wants more. I say as his favorite sister I’m entitled to special privileges. He pointed out I’m his only sister. No special privileges.

He loves me. He even called me for my birthday. A sweet guy.

He loves our grandma too. She holds a special place in the hearts of all three of us. I’m blessed with two sweet brothers.

*****************************************

I Still Miss Her

I think about my grandmother often. She was a major part of turning our broken lives around and we still marvel at how well things turned out for our family after such a horrible beginning.

Grandma was a strong, courageous lady. You couldn’t tell it by looking at her short little self but if you looked closely at the course of her life, you’d notice. She was loving and funny and, in my estimation, she was a saint to accept the three of us the way she did.

As mentioned, the circumstances of our childhood were not great. I don’t want to spoil this day by getting into all of that but referring to it helps to explain the reasoning behind Grandma’s desperate actions.

My mother was about to go to hospital for a second round of cancer treatment.

The first hospital visit had my brothers and I staying home with our dad while Grandma tried helping from a distance. I don’t remember much about it so can’t enlarge on exactly how things went for her but I’m guessing it did not go well. That would be why she declared an ultimatum the second time around.

If mom wanted her to look out for the three of us, we would have to stay with her. Somehow, we are not sure how, she managed to persuade our dad to agree. In later years, Mom told me Grandma’s courage was because she couldn’t bear to go home at night leaving us in the uncertainty of Dad’s care.

In today’s terms – we were removed from an unfit home and placed in foster care with Grandma as the caregiver. A huge undertaking when you think about it. In today’s world, we would have been removed but Grandma probably wouldn’t have been the one to take us. Not with modern day Social Services regulations.

Fifty-five years old with heart related health issues, married to an elderly man, nearly twenty years her senior, with serious heart issues of his own, I suspect she would have been disqualified. And while their house was amazing compared to ours, it was only a small single story with two bedrooms. Grandma was determined to make it work.

Taking in three hurting children ages twelve, ten, and seven, indefinitely, was life changing, on so many levels.

We never did go back. This move was for the long haul and I’m sure Grandma was relieved. Mom joined us after release from the hospital and Dad didn’t complain, not that I ever heard anyway. I’m sure there were many conversations my brothers and I were not privy to, so I guess we wouldn’t know, even if he did object.

The change in our life was like night and day. The most impactful difference for me was peace and stability. The provision most appreciated by my oldest brother was food – there was always plenty in the frig and we were allowed whatever we needed. We had to get used to regular baths, meals, bedtimes, and church attendance. None of us were not complaining about any of it. We loved our new life.

An undertaking like this meant extra work, and the three of us were required to help. I don’t remember feeling like it was a hardship although I’m sure there were times when I was reluctant to do what she asked. Grandma was a patient teacher and having to work with her provided skills that would set me up for life. I learned how to garden, mow lawns, can and freeze, make bread, pick fruit and vegetables. I learned how to wash clothes with a wringer washer, hang them on a clothes line to dry, iron starched white shirts, wash and wax floors, paint cupboards, and much more. In short – I learned how to work and found I liked it. Working with her was a special gift.

Life wasn’t all work and no play. Grandma was fun, deviously so sometimes. Her antics proved it. She was usually the mischief instigator, shooting watermelon seeds, cherry pits, or peas across the table at one of us, starting a war. It’s a good thing the kitchen was set up for easy cleaning.

Then there was one warm summer day with open windows, a perfect time to take a break from watering plants and shoot a little spray at the person doing dishes. Or one day throwing glasses of water through the space at top of the crooked bathroom door just when someone (my lucky mother) was drying off after a shower. Water everywhere was just part of the fun.

There were many more tricks – rubber sealer rings in bologna sandwiches, chocolate covered ants at church socials, disguising herself as a vagrant on Halloween night to fool the kids. That last one backfired when the army fellow next door noticed a shadowy figure and went striding out to challenge the scruffy trespasser. She revealed herself quickly, I think she was worried he would take her down with a tackle. So many good memories.

We always felt safe and loved at Grandma’s house. Her love wasn’t restricted to the three of us either. It extended to all her grandchildren, even her great grandchildren.

When my first child was born, we (baby and me) would pack up for the drive back home to spend time with her. She loved babies and was always thrilled to have us.

There are special moments in the memories of those days. Baby was six months old when we went shopping for a table and chairs for her new apartment. A set I inherited a few years later and eventually passed on to one of my kids. A few months ago, my daughter bought a new table and passed Grandma’s on to one of her friends who appreciates retro. Her memory lives on.

My second child was born three years after the first. By then Grandma was not doing well as her heart was giving out. She was determined. She was going to live long enough to see this new baby. And she did it. We were able to lay him in the bed beside her so she could look her fill. The next day she was gone.

I still miss her. She was mother to me through my teen years. She was grandma to my first born. The picture I have when I miss her most is the way she was on those visits with Gerald, my first boy. When the missing gets to be too much, I remember how weak and frail she was in those last days. I couldn’t wish her back.

She would be 119 years old this year. It tickles me to imagine what she would be like if she were alive and well today. I’m sure she would be serving bologna sandwiches with hidden sealer rings, while shooting us with cherry pits or watermelon seeds, enjoying every minute of it.

And she would have loved every future baby born to call her Great Grandma and beyond.

Bargain books August 07, 2020 – Part two

Failing to look at the suggestions at the bottom of the page means I missed interesting offerings for the author of my current read. An author is new to me. I can’t pass up the opportunity to experience more of her so we have to have bargains Part Two.

I don’t know about you but I like what they call speculative fiction. One of these three new books is just that. I do like Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker. There are a number of their books shelved in my living room. They say Lorana Hoopes writes like them, I’m looking forward to finding out if it’s true.

The Still Small Voice: Christian Speculative Fiction (Are You Listening Book 1)

The Still Small Voice

Amazon quote:

Would you give up everything to follow God?

Jordan Wright’s life was thrown upside down when she ended up pregnant in college. After giving up her son for adoption, she sought to find meaning in her life. As she gave her life to God, she began to receive visions and words to tell others. But can she trust God enough to take on the hardest mission of her life?

Kat Jameson had been a lukewarm Christian for years, but when her best friend died, her world was thrown into turmoil. Dreams haunt her evenings and a strange light began appearing around people. Kat believed she was going crazy until she met someone with a special message for her. Will she let go and finally let God use her?

Fans of Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker will love this speculative fiction. Best-selling author Lorana Hoopes will challenge your faith in this heartwarming speculative fiction. Are you listening to God’s voice?

******************

This next one is a romance and is the beginning of a new series. A Prequel on Pre-order at a bargain price. I’m taking a chance.

Sealed With a Kiss: A Clean Inspirational Small Town Romance (Star Lake Book 1)

Sealed with a Kiss

Amazon quote:

He’s loved her for years. She’s never seen it. Will they ever get their chance?

Max has loved Layla since the moment he met her, but the time has never been right to tell her. When she breaks off her engagement, will he finally get the courage to tell her how he feels or will he lose his chance forever?

Layla has been using relationships to determine her worth, but when her latest one falls apart, she decides to give up on men all together. When she realizes Max has feelings for her, will she stand by her conviction or will she give love one more try?

Fans of Karen Kingsbury, Susan May Warren, and Colleen Coble will love this heart-warming prequel to the Star Lake series by best selling author Lorana Hoopes. 

****************

One more bargain, available without waiting.

Where It All Began: An Inspirational Christian Fiction (A Heartbeats Inspirational Romance Book 1)

Where it all Began

Amazon quote:

An impossible choice. An unforeseen consequence. The hand of God.

Sandra Baker thought her life was on the perfect track until she ended up pregnant. Her boyfriend, not wanting the baby, pushes her to have an abortion and though she doesn’t want one, she realizes she cannot support a baby alone.

After the procedure, Sandra’s life falls apart as the guilt creeps in. She turns to alcohol, her relationship ends, and she struggles to find meaning in her life.

When she meets Henry Dobbs, a strong Christian man, she begins to wonder if his God would accept her. Will she tell Henry her darkest secret? And will she ever be able to forgive herself and find healing? Find out in this emotional love story.

Fans of Colleen Coble, Lori Wick, and Karen Kingsbury will love this inspirational romance from best-selling author Lorana Hoopes.

***************

This has been a very good book day with strong representation from two genres. We are in good shape for the weekend!!

Happy Reading

….until tomorrow.

Free books June 20, 2020, and Dads

FREE suggestions for us today.

Princess Paisley (Not-So-Fairy Tales Book 1) 

Princess Paisley

Amazon quote:

Fairy tales aren’t just for children anymore! Welcome to Jackalopany! Meet King Jack and Queen Felicia and their estimable children, Paisley and Jackson. Paisley has reached the year of her majority and is about to endure her “Majority Ball.” She’s unique, prank-loving, and not ready to change her life. She’d rather continue her days herding sheep, playing her harp, and avoiding the responsibilities associated with the Jackalopian throne. The shepherd Henry, Prince Rupert of Froggilandria, Kyle of Kaiandra, Marcus of Wellsbiundia, and the amusing Cletus of Rednecky all battle for the hand (and possibly the rest of) Princess Paisley. Will Darius of Griffinland foil the plans of so many? Will tragedy leave the Jackalopian throne bereft of an heir? And last but not least, will the narrator ever stop yammering about the rigors and rules of the fairytale genre?

****************

The Mail-Order Bride Carries a Gun (Brides of Sweet Creek Ranch Book 1)

The Mail-order Bride carries a gun

Amazon quote:

The mail-order bride seeks justice. Not a husband…

ELLA HUNTER never thought she’d be a mail-order bride. But when she sees a photo in the Marriage Gazette of the man she believes killed her brother, Ella agrees to marry the Civil War soldier turned cowboy. Prepared to confront a cold-hearted killer then return home, she finds all her expectations dashed when her intended husband appears to be a good man. Ella’s loyalties are torn between honoring the memories of her family and her undeniable attraction to Ty Haven.

TY HAVEN needs a wife. The ranch he runs in the wilds of Wyoming Territory could use a woman’s influence. Frankly, so could he. So when Ella arrives like a gift tied up in a cornflower-blue hair ribbon, more intelligent, practical, and, yes, beautiful, than he could have imagined, he hopes she will give him and the West a chance. Turns out, he doesn’t just need a wife. He needs Ella. But she has a secret, and it might destroy their marriage almost before it’s begun.

***************

As I write this, it’s Father’s Day tomorrow. Actually, I guess it’s today in many parts of the world. A day to honor our fathers.

My father has been gone for many years. Maybe if he was still alive he would have had time to change his ways and become a good father. We will never know. One thing I am grateful for today; his abusive behavior has not carried on through the generations even though it could have. My grandchildren enjoy loving fathers and I feel blessed.

*****************

Life is not perfect. It never has been and never will be. Life can, and does, go on in spite of it all. If we let it.

I chose, and continue to choose, to forgive and move on. Not an easy thing to do. As I look on my family and the legacy of love, I’m grateful for making this choice, over and over again.

****************

I can’t help but think about people like me with a past our conscious minds cannot bear to acknowledge. I hear pain, I see pain. All this talk about fathers is dredging it up. I cannot actually see or hear you but I can acknowledge you.  You are not alone. Look around carefully. There are others like you close by. Support one another.

*************

Some of you will think I am crazy for saying all of this.

Statistics show that one in four women/girls have been abused or will be abused at some point in their life. As I share my story (sparingly) I’m finding this number believable. Feeling alone is a result of conditioning by our abusers. No one will believe you. It’s all your fault. It was an important day in my life when I admitted I was not alone. there were fellow sufferers who knew exactly what I was talking about. I still experience days like that from time to time, it’s always a surprise.

**************

Father’s day is still a day to celebrate. The good do not need to be brought down because of the bad. I will be the first to stand and give honor to the good dads of the world. We love and appreciate you.

Free books June 18, 2020

Happy Thursday y’all.

I’m browsing. Suggestions are slow coming in again today, so far anyway. That’s the nature of things. Promotions come and go. Some books rarely show up while others make frequent appearances. Every-day frequent.

Some books stretch their infrequent history out over a long time period of time.

This morning is like that, with some books first seen as far back as 2012. It isn’t easy anymore to remember when and where or how often. My goal has been to keep things fresh with as few repeats as possible. Now it’s like faces in a crowd …. haven’t I seen you somewhere before? It’s easy to know my first download date (Amazon notes that for me) the problem is keeping track of repeat appearances. To protect my sanity, a lowering of standards is in order. I’ll still pursue fresh but with more of an oh well attitude. My audience changes daily too. Maybe readers are less aware of repeats than I think. I like that thought I’m going with it.

A FREE book (2015)

A Work in Progress: (The Faith Series, Book 1)

A Work in Progress

Amazon quote:

Rebecca Avery has never been one of “them”—the popular kids, the beautiful people. With less than fashion-plate looks and an off-beat, quirky style to living life, she has been relegated to finding “alone” activities to fill her time throughout high school. Unfortunately, college hasn’t changed that. Then she meets Eric Barnett, a nice guy who seems a little quirky himself. The only problem is, he’s in love with her roommate—one of the truly beautiful people. When Rebecca finds herself falling for him, she must find a way to break out of her shell or risk losing him forever. Who will win out in this mixed up jumble of feelings and loyalties?

Eric Barnett is drifting through college. Unlike his friends, he doesn’t have a path to relentlessly pursue. In fact, he often feels like the tag-along in a life that’s unfolding without him. Then he meets Rebecca Avery’s roommate who seems like she will finally give him what he most wants—credibility with his friends. However, when the roommate proves to be less-than-into-him, can Eric see past the outward appearance to find love with Rebecca?

************

FREE (joined me in 2016)

Where Angels Tread (Kensington Family Novels Book 1)

Where Angels Tread

Amazon quote:

Shane Kensington has dedicated his life to serving others as a police officer, sworn to protect the community and people that he loves. But a tragic mistake he made three years ago shattered his confidence and turned his world upside down. Since then, Shane has become a shell of the person he once was.

Until the day he met Heidi.
 
Heidi Griffin is a single mother struggling to make a life for herself and her troubled young son. Still grieving her husband’s untimely death, Heidi is adamant that she won’t open herself up to love — and loss — again.

*************

FREE (2016)

A Rose Blooms Twice (A Prairie Heritage, Book 1)

A Rose Blooms Twice

Amazon quote:

Rose Brownlee has suffered more loss than most people can endure. Now she must find a purpose and a way to move on with her life. Will she bow to conventional wisdom or will she, like Abraham of old, choose to follow where God leads her . . . even to a wild and strange land she does not know?

Set in the American prairie of the late 1800s, this story of loss, disillusionment, rebirth, and love will inspire, challenge, and encourage you. One woman’s courageous journey to redemption and new love!

****************

FREE (2016)

Finding the Way Back (Forgiving Hearts Trilogy Book 1)

Finding the Way Back

Amazon quote:

Laurel thought life had dealt her its worst blow when her marriage fell apart. For almost a year, she worked to put herself back together. These efforts culminated in a new job in a new place. Away from all the reminders of pain and humiliation, she can begin again. But what if her attempt to escape doesn’t take her away from Colton, but brings her to him instead?

Colton is reaping the sorrow and misery he deserves. For the worst of reasons, he hurt the woman he loves. Laurel’s heart won’t heal easily or ever without God’s help. Will she give him the chance to regain her trust? Or will he be forced to live the rest of his life without her?

**************

I’m currently reading a book from yesterday and it is still FREE

Summer with the Marine (Blue Bay Beach Romance Book 1)

Summer with the Marine

Amazon quote:

Eisley Higgins is laid off and needs a fresh start. Her mother offers her the loft space at her new beach cottage. The last thing she wants to do is move to a retirement community in coastal Florida. She gets a job at a local restaurant and her coworkers insist she follow through with the new-employee ritual to go on a date with her first customer. She’s shocked when it turns out to be her childhood best friend.

Ford Armstrong spent over ten years in the military serving his country. During that time, he married, but the relationship and his hope for a family quickly fizzled. After what felt like a failure, he fully turned his focus to the Marine Corps, but then received two life-changing pieces of news. While figuring out his future, he runs into the girl from his past. Only, the first thing out of her mouth is the last thing he expects to hear.

*************

Happy Reading folks!

It looks like 2016 was a good year (chuckle)