Just start talking. That’s what I have to do tonight. Once again I do not have a post in mind.
I’m going to keep it short because I need sleep to be able to function tomorrow. I know if I don’t use restraint this could easily end up being really long, leaving me with a very short night.
This whole subject has been on my mind for a long time but it’s complex and not necessarily easily understood, especially when spoken about briefly. I think it would take a book for me to say everything I need to say on this subject.
I don’t even know how to begin and it’s already been a half hour. I think slow, trying to get it right enough to make sense, and I write even slower.
I’ll try to express the kernel of it in a sentence or two and expand on it another time. Or even more likely, it will take many times to get it all out.
I love God deeply, and at the same time I feel loved by him. We have loved each other for a very long time.
It’s killing me not to expand on this but I know I have to go.
In the meantime…
I love looking at the mountains, they remind me – our help comes from the creator, of heaven and earth. And what a creator he is.
Tomorrow is technically Thanksgiving Day in Canada but today was the day that worked best for our family gathering.
We have so much to be thankful for. Most of all for the safe arrival of two family members who recently had to travel a great distance to be with us.
We are all presently healthy, happy, and well cared for.
The fellowship around the table was sweet, hilarious at times, and the turkey dinner was delicious.
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That’s about it for this post. Nothing to share for new books. The current historical read that I predicted wouldn’t be boring, kind of is. I was expecting story but it’s more like a history course. I’m skimming through it.
I like learning lots from a well crafted story but I’m not much for pages filled with facts, figures, and the names of many players who may or may not appear in the story itself. Personal preference, what can I say.
The reason I haven’t done it sooner, preferring anonymity, is because I thought you wouldn’t like me anymore if you knew the truth.
At this point I don’t think it will be much of a surprise to anyone, as I’ve been leaving lots of hints. I’m sure you may have already guessed anyway.
I don’t know why, but age has never really meant a whole lot to me when it comes to relating to people. I’m attracted to who they are and what they are all about. Do we share common interests? Do we enjoy talking to each other?
Currently, the person I relate to best in the company I work for is the young thirty-and-a-bit gal on my team. We each have our part to play in the process we are responsible for and we support one other in whatever way is needed. We enjoy hanging out, especially if it involves ice cream.
You may suspect I am past retirement age and you would be right. I have no plans to quit anytime soon and some of my clients are counting on it. lol
I’m not taking a job away from a younger person. So far we haven’t found anyone who wants it, and I think it’s funny. It’s true, I might not want it either if I were new to it today. I’ve grown into the job as it’s changed hugely over the last nine years and it would be much a bigger challenge now, having to start from scratch.
On the other hand, challenges and learning new things keeps a person young.
Talking about young, there’s a meme out right now that makes me laugh, and it fits me perfectly.
It says: my mind thinks I’m 35. My body tells my mind it’s an idiot.
It’s easy to forget how old I am until I pass a mirror or try to attack the garden like I did a few years ago.
One thing is sure about getting old; it’s going to happen to everyone. I’m grateful that I’ve gotten to be the age I am, not everyone makes it this far.
I’m grateful I can still think like I’m 35 and some days I can even behave like it. Not everyone has the health to do it.
I’m grateful that I see people, not age. I love hanging out with the teenagers in my family, well not just my family, other people’s too. Not everyone does, but we won’t talk about them. I feel blessed.
I feel blessed by the smiles on our faces. We haven’t seen much of each other through the years, with their family living in China and all. These two are home now and we are going to have a good time.
These guys take after my brothers in the height department.
We took this picture at their father’s request. He wanted to see us together, missing us all.
It’s not easy letting your kids go.
We promise to do a better job of keeping them in the loop.
Josh, in the red shirt, likes to cook and he knows how to get great treats when he wants them. Zach, the tall one, is not used to baked goods as they are uncommon in China. Ingredients are not easy to find. This will be an adventure for him.
Mark Lowry is the author of Mary Did You Know , has had a long and popular singing career. He has an off-the-cuff let’s-sing show from his home “studio”, it’s on his YouTube channel and many other platforms. Tonight his special guests have just released a new project. The group’s name is SouthBound and the album is SouthBound.Live.
This in an impromptu concert and many people, including me, are loving it.
I enjoy this so much I must share. These energetic guys are singing many of the songs off their new project. I have to have this.
Mark has just hit a million subscribers on Facebook and he loves reminding us. Everyone of them love him too.
The upbeat songs in this concert touch hurting hearts in the most amazing way.
The Sunday Scribblings story prompt today was milkshakes. I think it was chocolate milkshake day but I could be wrong about that. I don’t dislike milkshakes but rarely order one. My drink of choice usually is coffee, second choice would be iced tea. But not sweet tea. I tried it once when travelling in the south, couldn’t do it. I would pick salty over sweet any day of the week.
On the other hand, I do enjoy some desserts, especially if they lean toward the semi sweet side. Cheese cakes, tiramisu, tuxedo cake. I’m drooling already just thinking about them. Best change the subject.
I still don’t have a big appetite after the reaction to my second shot. My energy levels have not recovered either. I’m a little discouraged over that. Winter will soon be here and I need to get outside to do winter clean-up before the snow flies. One good thing about the snow – at least I don’t have to feel guilty about neglecting the yard.
Staying inside today produced a good chance to pay bills and respond to messages. That brightened my day considerably. The sad side of it, though, is knowing what my son and his wife and daughter are going through today. They will be putting their two oldest on a plane in a few hours to fly home to Canada. This isn’t a visit, they are moving home to see what comes next for them now that high school is nearly finished. I remember what it was like the first time my son flew off to a foreign country for who-knows how long. It was tough.
At the same time, I can relate to both sides. I have been the leaver and the left. It is much easier to be the one striking out on a new adventure. So many new things to experience. The left get to look at an emptier house every day and keenly feel the loss.
The adventurer doesn’t miss out on sadness though. Unfamiliar culture and languages can magnify homesickness. Even just a new and unfamiliar city brings it’s share of homesickness. No one gets away pain free.
On the other hand, sadness and homesickness means we loved. We can’t miss what we have never loved. What a blessing to have loved and been loved.
The three boys living here are excited to welcome their cousins. My daughter is left wondering how she is going to survive as the only woman with six guys. It will be an adventure, for sure. I tell her be glad it’s not girls, they would have to install another bathroom or two. Although if the girls were anything like the two of us, hogging shower and bathroom time would not be a big issue.
All that said, I enjoyed my kids when they were teens and I think she will enjoy these boys too. They are all loving kids.
Well, word is just in, the first leg of the flight was cancelled which means they will miss the connecting flight. At least they have a travel agent to take off some of the pressure. Arrival time will be affected, although this is not a total surprise.
A little of this and a little of that, again tonight… just because I feel like it.
My daughter asked me to check through family pictures this afternoon, she was in need of photos taken with a particular family member. It needed a big chunk of time to find anything after this many years.
I did find a few that fit her needs. But that’s not all I found. There was one I’ve been thinking of lately that always makes me smile. I think it represents my personality fairly well.
I would never have dreamed of taking such a picture but my son-in-law thought it was a great idea. Since I was oblivious to what he was up too, I couldn’t even change to a more lady-like position.
Fine tuning the stove installation.
I have no idea, anymore, what precisely was going on but whatever it was I was the only one small enough to reach. Now that it’s been awhile, this is one of my favorite pictures. Yup, that’s me, climbing on things.
So, this brings me to another favorite picture and I think it kind of goes with my picture. We are like two peas in a pod when it comes to one or two things. That’s my assessment anyway.
We were looking for evidence of her visit a few months after I moved here to Manitoba, back in 2013. At least I was looking through photos. My daughter is already in British Columbia ready for the memorial service tomorrow and needing memories.
Mabel aka Granny, was amazing. Facebook, Face time, emails, messages, all that good stuff right up until the end. This was 85 years young at the time.
Checking Facebook with her morning cup of tea.
Making memories with three of her many great-grandsons
Trusty stylus in hand, emailing someone in the family.
This is my favorite picture of her. The pose says it all.
My next favorite thing in this picture is the stuffed snowman on the hearth. It’s a wind up music box. It plays “Cold as Ice” while it swings around. Makes me laugh every time. I have no idea why I think it’s so funny but after a dozen years I still think it’s hilarious.
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I love my mother-in-law like a mother/friend. I’ve been separated from her step-son for 17 years and in spite of it all, she understands and the two of us are still close. She has room in her heart for all of us and I appreciate it more than I can tell. Not everyone can love without choosing sides. Actually, the whole family is good at loving this way. I feel truly blessed.
♥♥♥♥♥
Rest in Peace Mabel. You are a special lady and we all love you.
I can be at peace with her passing because I know I will see her again. Sooner than I might wish, the way time flies by.
My last email to her ended with the chorus from an old Rusty Goodman song about heaven.
Look for me, for I will be there too I realize, when you arrive, there’ll be so much to view After you’ve been there ten thousand years, a million, maybe two Look for me, for I will be there too
Several days ago I shared the helpful video I had the good fortune to run across. It was an interview with Jennifer Kolari and can be found here.
I’m still thinking about some things she shared that impacted me most.
I did take notes but they are in the form of phrases, just enough to remind me of the thoughts I didn’t want to forget. I won’t be able to share the clear or complete explanations contained in the video. I refer you back to the video for that wealth of information. (This is my disclaimer: much hereafter is on me, the author can’t be blamed for any issues or misunderstandings. I do want to give her credit for the good parts though.)
One of the first significant phrases was “your body keeps the score”. There are many reasons why our brains do not retain memories, especially of traumatic events, but our bodies remember everything Jennifer says. I have never thought about it quite like that before (stored in the body rather than in the brain) but I have always been convinced that some part of me does remember all the things I don’t or won’t.
Another point, in regard to the out of proportion reactions we often have to people, situations, comments etc. — we need to find healing before we can learn how to respond rather than react. I totally get this. I’ve been working on it in my life for quite some time and lately have seen positive changes in my thoughts and actions. I appreciate what she is about to say on how to go about doing this.
Jennifer says “to heal it you’ve got to feel it.” I agree, and to do that we have to give ourselves permission to feel our emotions. Most of us have learned to push down and bottle up our feelings. Typically, over time the feelings fester and eventually erupt into something much worse than they were originally.
So here’s the part I’ve not heard expressed quite this way. She says we feel love with our heart and we feel fear with our gut. I guess I haven’t really thought about the heart response because the feelings there would be positive and pleasant. I have definitely noticed negative changes in the gut though. When I’m feeling anxious things definitely do not feel pleasant in my digestive area.
She says one of the reasons for this concept to be plausible is due to neurons.
Apparently both the heart and the gut have neurons, who knew. I did a little internet research and here’s what I found.
According to several sources, including sciencemag.org the gut contains millions of neurons and is directly connected to the brain. The vagus nerve is one of the largest nerves carrying messages back and forth at a dizzying rate. The site linked above is as recent as 2018. If we feel fear or anxiety there will be a reaction in the gut. For some of us it morphs into painful intestinal disorders and other similar diseases.
The heart similarly has a large number of neurons but it also has it’s own nervous system and brain. Sometimes called the little brain according to heartmath.org. In 1991 a scientist made this discovery. The heart and the head brain are also sending a dizzying number of message back and forth.
Wow! I have to say this little bit of exploration done in order to speak intelligently to Jennifer’s comments regarding the gut and the heart, has opened up a whole new world of information. It’s calling out to me, to look into it more and more thoroughly.
Bottom line for the original subject of this post; to be emotionally healthy it helps to understand how the heart and gut are tied to our thoughts and memories. We feel love in our heart, we feel fear in our gut. When we react to people rather than respond, which part of our body is involved? Most often it will be fear, the gut. The next question is what happened to us to cause this reaction? How is it tied to our early life, what traumatized us. A dog? Lost? Abused? What?
Jennifer’s point is that if we can figure out the originating event and allow ourselves to feel the irrational fear it will lose it’s power over us and we can move on. Feel the fear of the dog, the bully, the dark, whatever it is.
Here’s a little teaser about the heart brain.
I’m not sure if I have been able to stay on subject well enough to make sense but I hope so.
I think the main take away is that our emotional well being affects our physical well being. After that, it becomes a vicious cycle. Learning to read the signs and figuring out what to do to alleviate/repair issues and memories, can be life changing.
Check out the interview and the other links to learn more about this fascinating subject.
A little this, a little that, and a whole lot of not-much.
Have you ever noticed how sometimes recharging a device seems to take forever? I have and I was inclined to blame it on the device? It was frustrating, especially since it was a new purchase and my expectations were high. It turns out I was experiencing misplaced blame. This afternoon my Kindle was taking forever and I couldn’t wait long enough for it to finish. Tonight, having to plug it in already, it charged in record time. I guess the fault lies with the power grid not the device or the power cords.
It could even be the fault of neighboring power hogs. I wonder who that could be? Hmmmm. I know it’s not me, a couple of lights and a laptop is all I’ve got going on.
I’m sad, as I sit here blogging and looking out the window at the darkness of night. A couple of months ago it would be getting dark just about now, not this full on night thing. Summer is on it’s way out. That’s why I’m sad. To think it has gone by so quickly.
It’s a good thing, I didn’t put my Christmas tree away. In another two or three months it will be time to put it up again, this way I don’t have to bother. Besides I like using it as a shield to hide behind. Privacy screen.
I’m excited, in a couple of weeks two of my young relatives will be moving back to Canada, specifically to the area where I live. I can hardly wait to see them. I’m sad that I didn’t meet the criteria for them to spend their two week self-isolation at my house.
This will be a great adventure for them. And an even bigger adjustment as they have never lived here, they left as babies. I think they have been dreaming of it for a long while though. Coupled with early onset adulthood I think they are ready for what comes next in their lives. Living with their same-age cousins won’t hurt either.
Overall, I’m happy with life.
Now I just have to figure out what book I wish to read next.
Maybe I will give this one a try. It looks to be filled with spies and intrigue.
The Captain’s Quest (The Leeward Islands Series Book 4)
Innocent mistakes can have dire consequences.
Pricilla Middleton only attended the Lemoore house party to keep her friend out of trouble. Now, her only chance to keep from becoming a gossip column headline is to sneak aboard her brother’s ship and pretend she’d been visiting him instead of taking part in the debacle. Before she can speak to her brother, the ship sets sail, and the man in charge is not at all who she expects.
Captain Tobias Prescott, son of an infamous war hero, has been assigned on a critical mission to deploy warships in St. Kitts for battle in New Orleans. Unfortunately, his orders require him to assume command of a friend’s ship, and he must weigh anchor the instant the former captain is escorted down the gangplank. When they reach open waters, the last thing he expects is to find a woman hiding in the captain’s cabin, yet his mission is too urgent to return her to England.
This is another one of those days when I’ve got nothing. Nothing to write that is. Most of the stuff on my mind isn’t appropriate for this post.
I’ve been closely following the debacle that has stunned the world. It seems we have been content to close our eyes to things and just coast along hoping someone else would take care of us. It will take some major courage to get the world out of the tough spot we find ourselves in. Our guys had the courage in WWII, I’m not sure how it could happen exactly but I’m sure our guys and gals could successfully rise to the challenge this time too.
The other news type thing on my mind is the whole covid situation. A fourth wave seems to be showing up in the last few days. Just when restrictions loosen up the infection rate starts rising again.
Along with that concern, we have a family situation where we need to find a isolation spot for teenage boys coming home after a lifetime overseas. I want to have them with me but there is one difficult hurdle to overcome. Other options may work out but if they don’t I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it work out well for them. We will have to wait and see how it all turns out.
In regard to books, I can’t find it again but I was reading a book collection that was a retelling of fairy tales. Red RidingHood and Cinderella were the first two. From my point of view they were really bad. I couldn’t bring myself to even read them. I removed the book from my device without taking note of the title. I wanted to share it with you and thought I could easily find it again but … no such luck. Maybe it’s better that I couldn’t find it. Kinder.
The sky is a heavy grey all of a sudden, I think another storm is supposed to roll through tonight, dropping some more rain. It’s funny, we had been having drought conditions and they were predicting a long hot summer. The prediction has changed, we are supposed to have more rain with cooler temps for the rest of the season. Winter shows up here the end of October/early November usually.
It will be interesting for our newly home teenagers, they have not experienced real winter before. It will be all new. They are excited and looking forward to it, I do know that. I don’t think they have seen snow and if they have it would have been a brief thing. Both of their parents have experienced full on Canadian winters and the kids have grown up with the stories wishing they could visit us in the winter. Their time has come!
For the Love of Books 