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This and that August 26, 2021

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A little this, a little that, and a whole lot of not-much.

Have you ever noticed how sometimes recharging a device seems to take forever? I have and I was inclined to blame it on the device?
It was frustrating, especially since it was a new purchase and my expectations were high. It turns out I was experiencing misplaced blame. This afternoon my Kindle was taking forever and I couldn’t wait long enough for it to finish. Tonight, having to plug it in already, it charged in record time. I guess the fault lies with the power grid not the device or the power cords.

It could even be the fault of neighboring power hogs. I wonder who that could be? Hmmmm. I know it’s not me, a couple of lights and a laptop is all I’ve got going on.

I’m sad, as I sit here blogging and looking out the window at the darkness of night. A couple of months ago it would be getting dark just about now, not this full on night thing. Summer is on it’s way out. That’s why I’m sad. To think it has gone by so quickly.

It’s a good thing, I didn’t put my Christmas tree away. In another two or three months it will be time to put it up again, this way I don’t have to bother. Besides I like using it as a shield to hide behind. Privacy screen.

I’m excited, in a couple of weeks two of my young relatives will be moving back to Canada, specifically to the area where I live. I can hardly wait to see them. I’m sad that I didn’t meet the criteria for them to spend their two week self-isolation at my house.

This will be a great adventure for them. And an even bigger adjustment as they have never lived here, they left as babies. I think they have been dreaming of it for a long while though. Coupled with early onset adulthood I think they are ready for what comes next in their lives. Living with their same-age cousins won’t hurt either.

Overall, I’m happy with life.

Now I just have to figure out what book I wish to read next.

Maybe I will give this one a try. It looks to be filled with spies and intrigue.

The Captain’s Quest (The Leeward Islands Series Book 4) 

Innocent mistakes can have dire consequences. 

Pricilla Middleton only attended the Lemoore house party to keep her friend out of trouble. Now, her only chance to keep from becoming a gossip column headline is to sneak aboard her brother’s ship and pretend she’d been visiting him instead of taking part in the debacle. Before she can speak to her brother, the ship sets sail, and the man in charge is not at all who she expects.

Captain Tobias Prescott, son of an infamous war hero, has been assigned on a critical mission to deploy warships in St. Kitts for battle in New Orleans. Unfortunately, his orders require him to assume command of a friend’s ship, and he must weigh anchor the instant the former captain is escorted down the gangplank. When they reach open waters, the last thing he expects is to find a woman hiding in the captain’s cabin, yet his mission is too urgent to return her to England.

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I’ll let you now how it goes.

This and that August 24, 2021

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This is another one of those days when I’ve got nothing. Nothing to write that is. Most of the stuff on my mind isn’t appropriate for this post.

I’ve been closely following the debacle that has stunned the world. It seems we have been content to close our eyes to things and just coast along hoping someone else would take care of us. It will take some major courage to get the world out of the tough spot we find ourselves in. Our guys had the courage in WWII, I’m not sure how it could happen exactly but I’m sure our guys and gals could successfully rise to the challenge this time too.

The other news type thing on my mind is the whole covid situation. A fourth wave seems to be showing up in the last few days. Just when restrictions loosen up the infection rate starts rising again.

Along with that concern, we have a family situation where we need to find a isolation spot for teenage boys coming home after a lifetime overseas. I want to have them with me but there is one difficult hurdle to overcome. Other options may work out but if they don’t I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it work out well for them. We will have to wait and see how it all turns out.

In regard to books, I can’t find it again but I was reading a book collection that was a retelling of fairy tales. Red Riding Hood and Cinderella were the first two. From my point of view they were really bad. I couldn’t bring myself to even read them. I removed the book from my device without taking note of the title. I wanted to share it with you and thought I could easily find it again but … no such luck. Maybe it’s better that I couldn’t find it. Kinder.

The sky is a heavy grey all of a sudden, I think another storm is supposed to roll through tonight, dropping some more rain. It’s funny, we had been having drought conditions and they were predicting a long hot summer. The prediction has changed, we are supposed to have more rain with cooler temps for the rest of the season. Winter shows up here the end of October/early November usually.

It will be interesting for our newly home teenagers, they have not experienced real winter before. It will be all new. They are excited and looking forward to it, I do know that. I don’t think they have seen snow and if they have it would have been a brief thing. Both of their parents have experienced full on Canadian winters and the kids have grown up with the stories wishing they could visit us in the winter. Their time has come!

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

How could they not love it?

Read and enjoyed August 17, 2021

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I loved this story. For a number of reasons.

I’ll admit I was uncertain at first as I tried to read the first chapter. Watching hulking men storm the beautiful house brandishing weapons in a uncivilized manner was disconcerting. Reading on was looking highly unlikely.

Fortunately, as I read on a little further and other characters were introduced, the story began looking more and more appealing.

There were so many interesting aspects added as the story unfolded. The nationality, culture, and customs of the “invading army” lent a flavor to the story different from what we are used to. The complex family, residents of the house, were definitely not the norm. Each family had deep secrets which added stress to the precarious legal situation.

And, just when I thought I had something figured out there was another twist to the story.

In the end my only complaint was the first chapter and the last page. For the same reason. They were both awkward and dissatisfying.

Aside from that though, it was a great read, one I would gladly do all over again.

The hulking warriors were definitely becoming more civilized as trust grew. A point in their favor. Really, they were just being as protective as an angry mama bear. It was beautiful to see… unless their anger was being directed at you.

The Rose of Winslow Street 

Romance and Drama to Capture the Heart in This Emotional Tale

The last thing Libby Sawyer and her father expected upon their return from their summer home was to find strangers inhabiting a house that had been in their family for decades. Widower Michael Dobrescu brought his family from Romania to the town of Colden, Massachusetts with a singular purpose: to claim the house willed to him long ago. Since neither party has any intention of giving up their claim, a fierce legal battle ensues between the two families.

When important documents go missing from the house, Libby suspects Michael is the culprit. Determined to discover the truth behind the stolen papers, Libby investigates, only to find more layers of mystery surrounding Michael and his family. Despite their rivalry, Libby finds herself developing feelings for this man with the mysterious past.

As a decision about the house looms in the courts, Libby must weigh the risks of choosing to remain loyal to her family or give her heart to a man whose intentions and affections are less than certain.

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I’m looking forward to my next read which will be the most recent Christy Barritt download. It is still a bargain.

Run Aground (Lantern Beach Mayday Book 1)

A dead captain on a luxury yacht leads to a tumultuous seafaring journey . . .

Med student Kenzie Anderson, tired of letting others chart her future, accepts a job as second steward aboard Almost Paradise. But when she finds the captain dead before the charter even begins, her plans seem to capsize.

Jimmy James Gamble senses something vulnerable and slightly naive about Kenzie when he finds her on the docks. Realizing danger may still be lingering close, he uses his hidden skills to earn a place on the charter. But being there causes him to risk everything—especially as more suspicious incidents occur.

As they set out to sea, Kenzie and Jimmy James both wonder if they’re in over their heads. They must figure out how to stop a killer before anyone onboard is hurt . . . otherwise, both their futures might just run aground.

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Happy Reading…

on this warm smoky day

How was your week?

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This was a letter to a friend tonight, chatting and asking about her week. It was fun to remember good days gone by and I thought it would be nice to share memories with you too. This takes place in Canada.

How was your week? Was the weather warmer than you’d like? Did you have a chance to get to the mainland to see the kids?

Our weather has been warm again the last few days. It makes me very grateful for A/C when temps are in the 30s. I like to be outside when it’s working though because cold air blowing around makes me shiver. I sit on the deck with a book and a coffee to enjoy the heat. I don’t work in the yard though, exertion in heat like that is a killer. My body doesn’t handle overheated very well anymore. I wait for evenings and mornings to garden.

We’ve had air quality alerts with all the smoke hanging around from the many forest fires between Saskatchewan, here, and western Ontario. We don’t have nearly as many fires as you do in BC but still, there’s been enough smoke to reduce visibility and turn what sun we could see orange. We’ve had rain with thunder and lightning where I live. The rain seems to be localized. Some areas get it and others don’t. The farmers are having a hard time of it. Some are selling off their herds as they are having trouble with feeding them.

One of my neighbors has been replacing part of his fence due to the weather. It had a definite list to it after one of the big storms whipping through at the end of May. The wind can get really wild around here with major storms . Watching the poor trees taking a beating and listening to roar of the wind, always makes me think of being out on the water. Between the number of years spent near the ocean in North Vancouver, Prince Rupert, and then Chemainus, there must be scary memories buried somewhere in my subconscious data bank.

I guess the ocean wasn’t the only place we experienced scary times. One year, when Gerald was four months old, we were camping in a tent at Mara Lake in the Okanagan. A big storm whipped up on the lake, strong enough to take out trees. We were hiding in our tent through it all, fortunately we were in the middle of a field and it didn’t last long. The campers parked among the trees closer to the beach were not as lucky, several had trees fall on them (the vehicles, not the people, thankfully.) I’ll never forget that trip.

The other strong memory I have from that holiday was staying among the trees (apricots) in an orchard turned campground. That’s what you call diversification. It was at the south end of Okanagan Lake on the eastern shore. It was pretty and different. It was hot too. So hot that my can of baby formula was wrecked. Who knew? I was a new mom with little baby food experience.

Of course, this also reminds me of our first summer camping trip about six years earlier. We were headed to Regina for a visit with Dave’s sister and we camped overnight in Jasper. It never crossed our minds to think that we would freeze to death in our tent in summer in the middle of the Rocky Mountain forest. We were fast learners, let me tell you. Not a whole lot of sleep that night. We travelled on hoping to stop for the night somewhere in Saskatchewan never realizing there would be no tress to speak of. We were spoiled with BC forest campgrounds. Not finding any trees, we opted for a motel room. We were more experienced on the return trip.

Lots of good camping experiences. I could share memories all night but I’d better quit.

I am doing well, in spite of the heat. Life is quiet around here. The biggest excitement currently, aside from the fence, is the bunny eating all the tender plants in the neighborhood. I have a feeling he’s alone and sticks pretty close to places he knows. Sad for us.

Have a great weekend.

Still praying God’s blessing and strength for you and your family.

♥ J

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Bargain books July 19, 2021 Part two

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I’m not sure how it happened. Despite seeing a number of tempting books we only ended up with two. I just had to go back for another look. I found two MORE.

I’m a little unsure about one of them but not enough to cut it from the lineup.

Since we started the day with Christmas, we will continue and start this post that way as well. I know and like some of the authors in this collection and it made the selection choice easy. This book is on pre-order and will be released in October.

Christmas in Mistletoe Square: Christmas Romance Novella

Amazon quote:

Christmas is in the air in Kedgewick Creek, North Carolina, at the foot of the Blue Ridge Mountains.

Will romance find four couples in the month of December or will the pressure to keep the festivities Mistletoe Square is known for keep these couples apart?

Find out in this collection of four novellas from inspirational authors Pepper Basham, Cara Putman, Janine Rosche, and Teresa Tysinger.

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This next book is a complete change of subject and will be a deep dive by the looks of it. I’m excited to see what this one is about.

Things Left Unsaid 

Amazon quote:

An emotional novel of family, friendship and forgiveness from Courtney Walsh, the New York Times bestselling author of Hometown Girl.

Lyndie St. James is thrilled that her best friend, Elle, is getting married but unprepared for the emotional storm of the wedding week and returning to her childhood summer home of Sweethaven. The idyllic cottage community harbors some of her best—and worst—memories. It’s not only the tragic death of her childhood friend Cassie that has haunted her for ten years, it’s the other secrets she’s buried that have kept her from moving on.

But Lyndie isn’t the only one with secrets.

Cassie’s mother, father and brother, still struggling with the loss, have been drifting further and further apart. And Elle herself, the last to see Cassie alive, carries an impossible burden of guilt. Now reunited, each of them has a choice: to reveal the truths of that night or continue to live in its shadow. That means embarking on a personal journey of the heart—to escape the darkness and all its regrets and to finally come to terms with the past and, especially, with each other.

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This next book is in a similar vein but I’m not sure if the dive is as deep.

When It’s All Said and Done

Amazon quote:

As sisters, they couldn’t be more different, but can they count on each other when it’s all said and done?

Ruth Webber’s only focus in life is saving the business her late father left behind and, since her capricious younger sister doesn’t care about family legacy, she must do it alone. When a long weekend trip presents an opportunity to advance the family interests, Ruth won’t let anything stand in her way, not even her sister’s drama or the smile of a handsome new friend.

Despite what Ruth thinks, family means a great deal to Angela, but the unexpected loss of her husband ended her dreams of having one of her own. Now, her only chance of building a new dream lies in her writing career, if she has the strength to act on it. All she needs is a weekend away to clear her thoughts.

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This one is a different flavor all together. Except, is it really? Maybe not.

Defending My Heart – Clean, Christian Football Romance: (A Texas Tornados Single Author Sports Romance Book 1)

Amazon quote:

The man who broke her heart. The second chance she’s not sure if she wants.

Emmitt Brown’s demons are even bigger than he is, and as a defensive lineman for a pro-football team, that’s something. When the team captain tasks his defensive line to go home for Christmas and get rid of their biggest past regret, Emmitt finds himself returning to the small town he grew up in to find the woman he never should have left. Too bad she hates him and tells him to go away.

Mia Carter can’t believe Emmitt Brown is back in town. She does not need this right now. Especially since he’s been the ghost who won’t leave her conscience alone for the past five years and especially since she recently lost her husband. But when the pro football player steps up and offers to help her son fight cancer, she finds herself reluctantly agreeing.

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OK. This is definitely It for today. Anything else will have to wait for tomorrow.

I will stay far far away, there will be no more looking and books.

Happy Reading!

This and that July 18, 2021

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I’ve discovered it’s best to date these things. They all merge together otherwise. Indistinguishable.

It’s warm out there! That the biggest thing on my mind at this moment. Usually it starts to cool off a little by 7 PM but not tonight. I went out to do some watering and quickly changed my mind. Later.

The highlight of the week was last night’s family Zoom call. Most of us live thousands of miles apart. We enjoy one another but we are not good at staying in touch. In all honesty, I’d have to admit that would be a gross understatement. Since we’ve committed to a Zoom call once a month, we are doing much better at connecting and we are having a lot of fun. The next call is going to fall on my birthday, how nice is that!

So, the other thing on my mind this week was tied up with a comment I made the other day about a writing project I had in mind. I’ve been thinking about this for a very long time but even more so lately. It seemed like it was time to do something about it so this weekend I did put some hours into it and wrote something. In the end, I didn’t use any of it.

I’m surprised about the level of unexpected relief I felt.

Part of the impetus for this writing project was to have a place where I could fill the need to rant and rave once in a while. I couldn’t do it here, didn’t want to do it here, I felt like it would spoil everything.

Anyway, I created another space, wrote an introductory piece with a small rant at the end, and struggled with getting the site set up the way I wanted it. No matter what I did nothing was going right.

By the time I decided to give it all up and deleted the new blog, my rant had lost it’s steam and I felt a lightness I didn’t have earlier.

Sometimes it’s healthy to visit the dark places but sometimes it’s not. There already is an over abundance of negative self-talk going on in my head I don’t need more. It feels healthier, for the most part, to stick to the lighter side of things in my communications with the world.

Part of my reason for wanting a place to rant was to work my way through some of the life long issues that surface from time to time. Writing and talking can be very therapeutic.

The subject of my short rant was acknowledging, for the first time, that my parents were selfish, immature teenager/young adults making unhealthy decisions and choices without a worry over whose life would be negatively affected. I can’t believe that they would unthinkingly do what they did.

While it was healthy to face this truth, I could see that to camp on the negative side of my life, while creating content for a new blog on a regular basis, would be injurious to my emotional health.

I’m so glad I’ve got that all figured out.

Maybe for future needs, I can work through the issue in my mind and then reduce it to a short paragraph. That should take care of everything

There is one more truth recently discovered but I’ll save that topic for another time. It’s a very encouraging truth. I must share it with my brothers.

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Currently I’m reading book one in a three book collection.

A Family to Love by Cindy M Amos and several others

Skinny Ranch Romance – Cindy M. Amos
When a hometown parade explodes with violence targeted at obese onlookers, District Judge Ilie Walton is forced to team with former classmate Traynor Henning for a trial reduction program for the victims. None too pleased over the partnership with Tray, Ilie claims to remain blind to his Zach Efron good looks in the name of justice. As the fence lengthens and the pounds melt off volunteer participants, Tray’s devotion softens her resolve, launching a romantic partnership. When new evidence emerges on a cold case involving a death at their senior class party, Ilie insists that justice prevail, though it threatens to sever their tenuous relationship. Tired of bearing the guilt, Tray faces off with his buddy Rex about what really happened that day in his boat. When the cold case turns red hot, will Ilie stand with the hardworking rancher—or do justice and reconciliation take two separate paths?

The scales of justice possess keen discernment, yet love never needed a final verdict to overcome.

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This is the one recently finished

Dearly Loved: Second Chance Christian Romance

The lovesick daydreams of Meredith Ambrose’s teenage years for neighborhood heartthrob David Steller have faded into uncomfortable memories-until he lands in a hospital bed in her unit where she works as an R.N.

David came to the Northwest to look her up-he just didn’t plan on their reunion occurring with him on a gurney. Can he prove he’s really changed after all these years? (Christian romance)

Happy Reading!!

A little of this and that July 08, 2021

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I felt like celebrating! It’s been a long year of work related complex challenges and steep learning curves. That’s what happens when government agencies implement major updates in their departments leaving their users scrambling to deal with it. Today I cleared the last hurdle and I felt like partying. Too bad I was alone and it’s a work day.

I’m still feeling just as pleased and relieved, hours later.

On the other hand though, there was a thread of sadness running through my day. A beloved family member is experiencing declining health and all of us in the family are sad to see it. A very special lady. In her better days she was vibrant and full of energy. Always on the go, a force to be reckoned with. The stories we could tell are endless..

Speaking of stories. I have nothing to offer in the way of new books. No good suggestions from any direction today.

I did finish a book that I liked a lot, though. It’s still a bargain.

Hard Landing (Hope Landing Romantic Suspense Book 1)

Two wary souls get a second chance at love…if a killer doesn’t find them first.
When a stalker turns to murder, pilot Kelli Spencer needs protection. What she doesn’t need is her old love Jack Reese returning to stir things up, but the former Navy SEAL and his team of protection specialists are the best of the best.

Trust him with her life? If she has to. Trust him with her heart? No way.

The last time Jack left, he made it clear married life held no appeal. Ten years later, he wastes no time letting her know he hasn’t changed. Not that she’d be fool enough to hope.

As the commander of Knight Tactical, Jack jumps at the chance to protect Kelli and take down a killer, but as soon as she’s safe, he plans to shake the dust of the small mountain town off his feet again…until he realizes he never should have left the first time.

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I’ve barely started a new book. It starts off with a life threatening situation before it’s hardly even gone two pages. Reminds me of the opening scenes of Criminal Minds TV series. It seemed like a perfect time to work on a blog post.

I guess I need to remind myself they won’t be killing off the main character this close to the beginning.

Deadly Chances: Five romantic suspenses where couples outrace danger and take a chance on love

The one I’m reading:

DANGEROUS VICTORY
Car mechanic Valerie watched her father die in a fiery wreck and she can’t admit to herself that she’s in love with a Nascar race car driver Jackson, especially after he’s also injured in a crash. But when a stranger shows up, terrorizing her about a mysterious delivery from her uncle, Jackson is the only one who can navigate the danger with Valerie. It’s a race for survival, and a high speed adventure in love.

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I guess I’d better go back and see if she survived to see chapter two. This is still a bargain as well. Good deal.

Happy Reading.

A helpful resource – professional counselling in book form

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The level of professional counselling we need is sometimes not easily found. That was the case for me a decade or two ago and this book was a life saver. It was written as a joint effort by the Minirth/Meir group, both of them psychiatrists, joined by a third person, a psychologist.

The book starts off talking about codependency. That’s not the way I remember it from my first reading. It’s funny how that goes. The parts I remember are the ones explaining what happened to me, how it has affected me, and the broken way I do life as a result. Understanding opened many life changing doors in my thinking.

Of all of the many books I’ve read this one was the most comprehensive and impacting. It was written to be a counselor to those without access to one. It covers the subject well enough to be a textbook written in layman’s terms.

I’ve shared this book here before but feel inspired to share it again.

I was speaking with a long time friend today, catching up on our lives and families. Stuff happens in our families and sometimes there is brokenness left undiscovered for decades.

I’ve been thinking about our conversation for most of the day and tonight remembered about this book that could be helpful in their situation. So, this is for my friend, to share as she sees fit.

It’s for you too (as reader) if this would be helpful in your life.

One more comment. I remember interpreting the title and certain phrases in the synopsis in a negative way.

Reality was nothing like my expectations. Supportive, kind, understanding, helpful; these are all words I would use to describe the experience. And, validation.

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Love Is a Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships

Amazon quote:

Let go of unhealthy relationships with the book that more than 850K people have trusted.

Best-selling doctors, Hemfelt, Minirth, and Meier, walk you through their ten proven stages to recovery from codependency that results from external circumstances.

Humans are susceptible to codependency because of our sinful tendency to use defense mechanisms to fool ourselves. In codependent relationships, deceitful games are played, and important Christian principles are often taken out of context and abused.

God wants us to have healthy relationships with a balance between being dependent and independent. The doctors describe how the most effective means of overcoming codependent relationships is to establish or deepen a relationship with Christ Himself.

They describe the causes of codependency, pointing out the factors that perpetuate it, and lead readers through their ten stages of recovery.

Continue a deeper study with the Love Is a Choice workbook, available separately.

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Read this prayerfully with a surrendered heart and mind. I say this because our defense mechanisms can have us locked up so tight that helpful thoughts cannot penetrate the armor we have going on. Work on wanting to know. Work on believing there is hope, and that you are worth so much more than what you’ve been told.

♥

Must post

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Must post, can’t be breaking the posting streak again so soon.

I’ve only minutes to get this done in time while it’s still today so I’ll talk quick. I had good intentions but my nose was in a book and I lost track of time. Shocking I know.

I was relaxing after an awesome family time to celebrate a high school graduation.

It was fun. We ordered in from a new place serving Middle Eastern food. It was delicious and the portions were huge. Probably because Obby Khan owns it’s and he’s a retired footballer with a footballer appetite. Our boys will eat what the ladies couldn’t.

The evening felt special for our grad and it was even more exciting when a parade of cars dropped by the house with signs, horns blowing and shouts of congratulations.

Tomorrow they will do a drive-through at the school to receive his diploma, dressed in cap and gown accompanied by siblings and proud parents.

Must go.

Here is the book I’m reading…

We all learned some things

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It’s funny how a lighthearted conversation can turn into something so much more.

So the back story is that this annoying application showed up on my android phone a number of months ago and it kept wanting to open things up for me. I had no idea where it came from or why it was there. Unequivocally, I wanted it gone. Stop trying to take over my phone and my life.

Nothing worked the same with it there. I was happy with life before it showed up and I just wanted it off my phone so things could go back to normal. I even searched out removal instructions but couldn’t make them work for some reason.

After limping along for a very long time I mentioned it at my daughter’s house yesterday, complaining that I missed dates because I couldn’t access my calendar anymore. She enlisted the help of my grandson and while he searched to see what the app was all about before he looked for removal instructions, I laughingly but vehemently admitted to my rebelliousness at the app for trying to take over my life.

I’d figured out how to work around it for most things just not everything and I was highly resentful.

This was new territory for my daughter, I think she called it an eye opening experience listening to me rant about how much I hated the interference of this thing. Thankfully she didn’t enlarge on her comment during the family Zoom call later on.

So with my grandson’s search, he discovered the annoying app must have been an update and it was intended to launch apps, replacing the last version of an app launcher. It wasn’t the enemy I took it for and it wasn’t trying to take over my life and force me to do things I didn’t want to do.

There was a choice for just-once or always. I thought that meant it was an optional thing and the just-once was to decide if I wanted it or not. Turns out the just-once was to let me choose between two versions. He checked them out, we decided on always, problem solved.

At the time, I thought the whole conversation was hilarious. Later, thinking about why I felt like I was being pressured to do it’s biding, the conversation in my head took on a more serious tone.

Part of the problem in the misunderstanding is that while I can figure out how to use most apps, I have a problem with operating system issues. It’s always been that way. Probably because the need for action shows up so seldom.

The bigger part of the misunderstanding is more complicated. Thinking about my knee jerk reaction and my unreasonable position of viewing the app as the enemy, I have to admit, an irrational response on my part is pretty normal as a first reaction to many things.

I see the enemy everywhere because I have major trust issues.

I have to figure out how to make positive changes.

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I’ve been thinking about a dog. After seeing my grandson’s new puppy. A dog would be an easy way to share my life with another being and allow a little more than the usual contact with other humans.

Hmmmm.

I know. I have to stop thinking that everyone and everything is out to harm me. Fear is no way to live a fulfilling life.