Story prompt Skin

Disclaimer: Please do not read this post if difficult personal story is not your cup of tea, or if it could trigger or offend you.

This is week six in the Sunday Scribblings  prompt hosted by Peckapalooza: The Confusing Middle.

Normally I hook these challenges together to create an ongoing chapter story. It pleases me to get as much mileage as possible out of my writing attempts. I did have a plan in mind to work this week’s prompt into today’s chapter (6) while advancing my story. At least I did until yesterday’s post with reference to Father’s Day. Plans have changed.

I consider myself thick skinned when it comes to my personal history. Much of the time I can talk about most of it matter-of-factly while minimizing the truth of our abusive family life. No big deal.

Yesterday I made reference to abusive relationships because, just like there are many who find Mother’s Day traumatic, there are many who find Father’s Day a traumatic experience. The reasons are different but still painful.

Now, working my way emotionally through the aftermath of yesterday, I realize trauma related to Father’s day goes deeper than first thought. Generally, the deeper the trauma the less likely we are to speak about it. Many are vocal every year about their negative experiences surrounding Mother’s Day. Today for the first time, I realize we are hearing a complete lack of corresponding comments surrounding Father’s Day. The silence speaks loudly, if we happen to be listening.

Yesterday I wanted to acknowledge mostly-forgotten hurting hearts. To be seen and understood means a lot to those living with unimaginable pain. It felt like the right thing to do, to offer support and encouragement.

It’s no surprise to find, once again, my conscious mind can’t handle the truth of my own life. It has deeply buried the negative and bought into the never-happened, no-big-deal lies. My brothers insist I need to face the uncomfortable truth. I find I don’t want to/can’t remember. Inappropriate (not fitting the situation) triggered responses are the only evidence of truth.

The triggered reaction arising out of yesterday’s sharing was a shock to my system. The emotional upheaval I woke up to this morning was a shock too. As a result this has been a recovery day. As the day wears on I’m starting to feel better.

My skin appears to be thinner than I believe it is.

I’m sharing all this now because I feel compelled. Partly because I know the power of story to comfort and help others. Partly because I know the value of expression to release pent up emotions. I’m trusting that life will be incrementally better after acknowledging another sliver of truth. So far it always has been and I have great expectations for now too.

May life be better for you too, as you acknowledge the truth (as you are able) of your situation.

Next week will be soon enough for anther installment in my continued story about Carly, an exposed woman in Witness Protection.

Hoping this all made sense…

Janette

 

Free books June 20, 2020, and Dads

FREE suggestions for us today.

Princess Paisley (Not-So-Fairy Tales Book 1) 

Princess Paisley

Amazon quote:

Fairy tales aren’t just for children anymore! Welcome to Jackalopany! Meet King Jack and Queen Felicia and their estimable children, Paisley and Jackson. Paisley has reached the year of her majority and is about to endure her “Majority Ball.” She’s unique, prank-loving, and not ready to change her life. She’d rather continue her days herding sheep, playing her harp, and avoiding the responsibilities associated with the Jackalopian throne. The shepherd Henry, Prince Rupert of Froggilandria, Kyle of Kaiandra, Marcus of Wellsbiundia, and the amusing Cletus of Rednecky all battle for the hand (and possibly the rest of) Princess Paisley. Will Darius of Griffinland foil the plans of so many? Will tragedy leave the Jackalopian throne bereft of an heir? And last but not least, will the narrator ever stop yammering about the rigors and rules of the fairytale genre?

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The Mail-Order Bride Carries a Gun (Brides of Sweet Creek Ranch Book 1)

The Mail-order Bride carries a gun

Amazon quote:

The mail-order bride seeks justice. Not a husband…

ELLA HUNTER never thought she’d be a mail-order bride. But when she sees a photo in the Marriage Gazette of the man she believes killed her brother, Ella agrees to marry the Civil War soldier turned cowboy. Prepared to confront a cold-hearted killer then return home, she finds all her expectations dashed when her intended husband appears to be a good man. Ella’s loyalties are torn between honoring the memories of her family and her undeniable attraction to Ty Haven.

TY HAVEN needs a wife. The ranch he runs in the wilds of Wyoming Territory could use a woman’s influence. Frankly, so could he. So when Ella arrives like a gift tied up in a cornflower-blue hair ribbon, more intelligent, practical, and, yes, beautiful, than he could have imagined, he hopes she will give him and the West a chance. Turns out, he doesn’t just need a wife. He needs Ella. But she has a secret, and it might destroy their marriage almost before it’s begun.

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As I write this, it’s Father’s Day tomorrow. Actually, I guess it’s today in many parts of the world. A day to honor our fathers.

My father has been gone for many years. Maybe if he was still alive he would have had time to change his ways and become a good father. We will never know. One thing I am grateful for today; his abusive behavior has not carried on through the generations even though it could have. My grandchildren enjoy loving fathers and I feel blessed.

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Life is not perfect. It never has been and never will be. Life can, and does, go on in spite of it all. If we let it.

I chose, and continue to choose, to forgive and move on. Not an easy thing to do. As I look on my family and the legacy of love, I’m grateful for making this choice, over and over again.

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I can’t help but think about people like me with a past our conscious minds cannot bear to acknowledge. I hear pain, I see pain. All this talk about fathers is dredging it up. I cannot actually see or hear you but I can acknowledge you.  You are not alone. Look around carefully. There are others like you close by. Support one another.

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Some of you will think I am crazy for saying all of this.

Statistics show that one in four women/girls have been abused or will be abused at some point in their life. As I share my story (sparingly) I’m finding this number believable. Feeling alone is a result of conditioning by our abusers. No one will believe you. It’s all your fault. It was an important day in my life when I admitted I was not alone. there were fellow sufferers who knew exactly what I was talking about. I still experience days like that from time to time, it’s always a surprise.

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Father’s day is still a day to celebrate. The good do not need to be brought down because of the bad. I will be the first to stand and give honor to the good dads of the world. We love and appreciate you.

Read and enjoyed Feb 7, 2020

This is a slow day for book suggestions but we have a few more read-and-enjoyed to share.

Legacy Restored is my 5***** favorite today. It is book 2 in The Legacy series. Book 3 Legacy Reclaimed is scheduled to be released February 11, 2020.  Legacy Rejected is book 1.

Legacy RejectedLegacy RestoredLegacy Reclaimed

Romantic Suspense –  Book 2 is currently $0.99 while the other two are $2.99 each. I’ve only read book two and would love to read the others.

Book one:

All she wants is a home, but there is no safe haven when mobsters are after you.

Book two:

She’s a reformed thief working to take down a murderer. He’s a grieving man who refuses to let another woman die needlessly. When their desires clash, will it lead to hostility… or fireworks?

Book three:

She’ll risk anything to save the company her parents built. He’ll risk anything to save her. Someone will stop at nothing to make sure they both fail. 

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This next book – Deliverance: Lydia’s Story – is a fictional story about a broken family dealing with drug abuse, loss, hope and restoration.

Deliverance

Amazon quote:

Lydia Blankenship and her husband, Jim, lost their own little girl years ago to a medical mishap. It took Lydia nearly thirty years to stop hating the nurse who administered the wrong medicine. Now, she and Jim are once again in parental bliss as the legal guardians for Lydia’s charming five-year-old grandniece, Gracie. The girl’s mother, however—recently released from prison for drug-related theft—plots to kidnap the little girl and run.

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Heart’s Design was a pleasant surprise too. It can be read free with Kindle Unlimited

Heart's Design

Life as a big city lawyer is not her heart’s desire. It is the plan of her heavy handed barrister father. He expects all three of his offspring to become part of the family business.

On a summer hiking trip with her city-girl friends, they cross paths with a small town mineralogist and college professor. Spending time with him she finds he hears and understands. It’s a new experience, to be heard, and she’s beginning to see life in a different light. Maybe she could stand up to her father and follow her heart.

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Blackbird (Amish Mountain Secrets book 2) free to read on Kindle Unlimited

Blackbird

Women are dying again, found in conspicuous places with a dead blackbird placed beside the body. The man committing the murders ten years ago perished with a fall in a fast flowing river. These new murders look just like his but how could that be.

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Maybe tomorrow will be a better day for new book offerings. In the meantime…

Happy Reading.

Free and bargain books January 22, 2020

BookBub has a great bargain book for us today ($0.99) and it’s from a favorite author. I loved this book.

No One to Trust

No one to trust

Amazon Quote:

Summer Abernathy wakes up one morning to find her husband missing, three men in her home intent on finding him, and the life she’s been living based on a lie. Which Kyle Abernathy did she marry? The computer programmer she met in line at the bank? Or the one who was apparently using that image as a cover story?

The search for her husband–and answers–takes Summer ever deeper into a world of organized crime where people are used one moment and discarded the next. And with her deepest relationship of trust already shattered, Summer doesn’t know who to believe.

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BookRunes has a FREE book for us

Deliverance ….I’ve not read this author before so I’m not sure what to think except that it’s worth a try.

Deliverance

Amazon Quote:

Lydia Blankenship and her husband, Jim, lost their own little girl years ago to a medical mishap. It took Lydia nearly thirty years to stop hating the nurse who administered the wrong medicine. Now, she and Jim are once again in parental bliss as the legal guardians for Lydia’s charming five-year-old grandniece, Gracie. The girl’s mother, however—recently released from prison for drug-related theft—plots to kidnap the little girl and run.

Lydia’s happy days with her grandniece are quickly threatened, along with her tranquil marriage. The law is on Lydia’s side, but her niece, Nicole, has years of experience sidestepping the law. When Lydia turns to her friends to help thwart her niece, they support her crazy antics. When she turns to God, she doesn’t like the answers.

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Another author I have not experienced but would like to. A bargain book at $0.99

Granted is book 3 in the May Hollow Trilogy

Granted

Amazon quote:

Former international flight attendant Annie Taylor is embracing her country roots and racing toward a future with her sustainable farmer fiancé, but wedding plans are complicated by her new job, a mysterious ex-boyfriend, and a narcissistic father. 

Meanwhile, Annie’s old-fashioned grandma, Beulah, is facing a shake-up in the last place she ever thought she would—home. A crisis on May Hollow Road follows a friend’s betrayal, challenging Beulah’s forgiving nature. An unwelcome diet, a new houseguest, and a possible overseas trip will all stretch her spirit—if she lets it.

Happy Reading everyone!

Teach me to read? and two free books

This post is inspired by the post of a blogger friend here , wanting to become a better reader. His title asks the question: Can you teach me to read?

I agree with him, reading skill is rarely the real problem. Discovery of enjoyment in reading is the real issue. Find a book you love and you will learn to love reading. Over the years, I’ve been considering this question long and hard. In fact, the passion behind this idea is the main motivation for this blog . It’s amazing to witness readers inspired and discovering the joy found in a good book.

Much of my thinking is backed up in the scholarly writings of Mortimer J. Adler and Charles Van Doren in The Classic Guide to Intelligent Reading How to Read a Book. available on Amazon

How to Read a book

My copy was printed in 1972 and given to me 25 years ago (or so) by a good, and scholarly, friend. I freely admit I couldn’t get into it enough to read the whole thing but still it occupies a prominent place, front and center on the book shelf. I think of it fondly and refer to it occasionally. I remember it’s liberating wisdom about the sacredness? of the written word and a few other myth busters like – it’s okay to read the ending before beginning a book, maybe it will even be helpful making connection for you.

Here are some misconceptions I think are acting as road blocks to discovering the joy of reading.

Our mind is convinced we are the problem, the flaw is within us. It’s our fault when we don’t enjoy a book, (We will never make a good reader. We have never learned do it well.) We need to know – lack of enjoyment in a book is not our fault. Seeing the truth of this  will be liberating.

Another thought, while we are at it – lack of speed does not count as a fault. It’s true, slow can be painful and discouraging.  Be encouraged, practice will increase speed, life will be better.

The real problem (I believe) with the lack of enjoyment is found in connection, or more accurately, the lack of it. Books are like people…  they are written by people, so this makes sense to me. When interacting in a conversation we find some connections come easily and swiftly, others – not so much. Like with people, all books are not created equal. It’s unrealistic to expect the same level of connection with every book we pick up.

Another misconception (I think) holding us back from embracing the importance of connection is our misplaced view of honor due to a book.  Somehow (I’m not sure how it happened exactly) we’ve had it drilled into us, the idea that if a book is in print it is important, true, and worth our reading time. We’ve all embraced this rule. At least until we identify the need to examine and discard it. A book does not deserve to be read just because it materialized in front of you. It needs to earn the right. There are so many ways it could be undeserving. Maybe the skill level of the author is lacking, maybe their style of expression is off-putting, maybe their treatment of the subject fails at believable. Maybe the content is blatantly untrue.

If a story does not grab your attention it is not your problem. And, it is possible it’s not the authors either. It’s normal for us humans to see things differently There will always be someone who loves something that I don’t. We like what we like and there’s no argument or shame in that. If a book doesn’t appeal quickly, let go and move on without a second, self defeating, thought.

Somehow, I’ve noticed, when it comes to food we aren’t bound by the same sense of guilt. We know what we like and, in most cases, we find it easy to say no without apology.

Reading deserves the same respectful consideration and we need to learn to say no. No more forcing ourselves to finish a book we don’t enjoy. The only benefit of finishing is reinforcement of the lie, reading is drudgery.

One more thought in regard to food: Many of us have the experience of siting at the table of a cook with few skills, eating is necessary but it’s drudgery. The opportunity to sit and sample at the table of a skilled chef will open our eyes to unimaginable possibilities. Who knew food could taste this good! Books are similar, in my opinion. The same story (recipe) in the hands of a skilled author could take you on a magical journey, maybe even the ride of your life. 

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OK, so now I’ve had time to sleep on it. In the bright light of morning I’m seeing this from a different perspective and second guessing myself. Maybe the reader is skeptical.

What if I have this all wrong?

Maybe it’s not as simple as finding books you love to make reading universally easy.

Maybe reality says this only works for the few, like me and a short list of other addicts among the billions of possible could-be readers.

Maybe, because I am put off with books I can’t make myself read but I’m all-in with stories appealing to me – like decadent cheese cake, or peanut covered ice cream, drowned in a sea of hot melted chocolate – maybe I just assume it will work as a stimulant for everyone. Maybe in reality it doesn’t work like that.

Maybe books really aren’t like food, where you can’t help but devour a new discovery, tasting so wonderful.

Maybe I’m wrong.

I don’t think so. But I could be.

I hope I’m not. How sad would that be.

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So sorry to change the contemplative mood but, here are a couple of FREE books this morning.

Deep Blue Sea (New England Inspirations Book 1) is new to me but looks like it could be good.

 

Deep Blue Sea

Amazon quote:

Jamie Walker has a secret.
And she’ll do anything to keep it that way.
Her missing cousin’s cold case has been reopened at the worst time. And by the worst person: a hot shot detective from New York striving to close his 100th case.
As the detective gets closer and closer to uncovering the truth of what happened all those years ago, Jamie will go to any lengths to make sure this dusty mystery is one he’ll never solve.

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Holmes Crossing Series contains the first three books in the series. I’ve read and enjoyed the first one, in previous downloads.

Homes Crossing series

 

Amazon quote:

Her broken childhood makes Leslie desperate to properly balance her love for her family with her love for her ER nursing job.

When the loss of her husband’s business forces them to move temporarily back to his family’s farm, Leslie is terrified that once Dan is back in the fold of family and the community of Holmes Crossing, her needs will be smothered.

Then a near tragedy tests everything they both hold dear.

Start your journey to Holmes Crossing with Dan and Leslie’s story and get pulled into Terra’s, a girl with sass, spunk and a haunting secret.

Terra has spent the last few years outrunning the darkness of her past. But when she is forced to stay in Holmes Crossing past and present clash in a way that has chilling repercussions for any future she hopes to create.

After that you’ll meet Miriam who has a second chance at motherhood when she unexpectedly becomes a joint guardian of the baby she gave up. But can her rekindled relationship with Duncan, co-guardian of her daughter, withstand the accusing secrets of her past?

What readers have to say:

The Only Best Place

“If you cry easily, you may want tissues nearby.”

Happy Reading!

Let me know what you think. Am I delusional?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is going to be (hopefully) a lengthy list of free books especially for a blogging friend who, like Julia Roberts in the movie Runaway Bride, is trying to discover what he likes. Julia is accused of not knowing what she likes, always making choices based on the likes of others. There’s the famous scene in the movie where she’s trying to prepare eggs every way possible in a process of elimination. She’s been convinced her choices would be better made if she knew what she liked.

Sometimes we need to do that with books, read a large selection of different styles to discover the one we can’t put down and wish would never end.

 

Free books January 3, 2020

Chautona Havig’s  FREEBIE Friday book is Ready or Not

Amazon Quote…

“It’s Mom’s Night Out meets Cheaper by the Dozen when 22-year-old Aggie “inherits” her eight nephews and nieces, creating the instant family she never had (or even knew she wanted). Woefully (and laughably) unprepared, Aggie dives headfirst into a whirlwind of bottle feeding (babies need coffee, too, right?), car-pooling (ha! if only), house-keeping madness.

It’s the hardest job she’s ever loved, and she’s bound and determined to succeed. Ready or not (she’d say not!) here she comes!”

Ready or Not

This is from the Aggie’s Inheritance Series book 1, I’ve read and enjoyed this book.

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Also FREE from Chautona Havig this weekend,  The Diary of a De-cluttering Junkie 

This book has been offered up in Episodes and the first 7 of them are free for the weekend.

Kaye Harper has had it–utterly fed up with the constant junk that clutters her life. So, armed with a stack of books that guarantee to teach her the secret of living a clutter-free life, Kaye embarks on a journey that takes her from clutter bug to clutter free–and beyond.

Her family doesn’t know what to think of her and her new passion. While Jacob does enjoy the streamlined beauty of his new life, he is also just as frustrated as their sons as Kaye goes from clean up to clear out–including treasured possessions.

Who knew that what started out as a survival technique would become an addiction?

While her husband and children watch in fascinated horror, Kaye is determined to rid their life of excess and embrace a less complicated and more orderly existence—all without losing her mind. – Amazon quote

Diary of a de cluttering junkie

I have not read this one but it looks like a lot of fun.

That’s it for free books today.

Happy Reading

Bargain book collections December 10, 2019

It’s a slow day for books from Bookbub, BookRunes, and LPC books but there are still a couple of new bargain book collections to talk about.

The 12 Mysteries of Christmas is just that  – twelve books. Well, novellas really, as they are about 100 pages each. Susette Williams and Alexa Verde are two authors showing up regularly for me, I like their books so I think this will be good a cozy-mystery read. It’s a bargain at $1.31 CDN

The twelve Mysteries of Christmas

We are going from Christmas to summer with the next collection. A little warmth to take our minds off the sunny, glittery, frigid weather we are experiencing here today. I have read book 1 but it’s been a few years.

A Summer Romance Collection, a bargain at $1.32 CDN

A summer Romance Collection

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I’m currently reading A Tuscan Legacy and I’m up to book 4 and loving this collection. Each book is the unique love story of one of the cousins. And there is an intriguing thread of mystery winding it’s way through each book. It adds to the allure of the story. We will have to wait until the end, though, to discover the closely guarded family secret that’s lasted for two generations.

It’s still a bargain at $1.32 CDN if you don’t have a copy yet.

A Tuscan Legacy

Happy Reading

Free and bargain books December 09, 2019

BookBub has a free one for us this morning.

Remembering Christmas is FREE. I’m drawing a blank on this one, although it seems I did read it in 2012. There are other Dan Walsh books in my collection of downloads too and I’ve read most of them by the looks of it. I’ll have to pay better attention this time.

Remembering Christmas

Rick has a life that doesn’t include his parents. He’s never liked his step father and when his mother begs him to come home he reluctantly agrees. Her husband’s stroke leaves her needing help running the family bookstore, a chore Rick is not thrilled about.

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As promised, here is another installment of the bargain book collections I found on Amazon yesterday.

A Date With Danger, a six book, 1406 page, Romantic/Suspense collection, a bargain at $1.32 CDN. Reading through the blurbs on Amazon, it looks as though this may be a fun read, in places. I think it may have to go the top of my TBR pile. Digging a little deeper into my reading experiences, it appears I’ve read several of these books along the way somewhere. I guess that’s not too surprising as contributors will sometimes go with manuscripts already published.

A Date With Danger

The fun one will be the last one. Delilah Morgan’s dying husband wants to protect her from future suitors lacking his approval so he arranges for the local judge to court her, when the time is right. Unfortunately, he doesn’t remember to share the news of this arrangement with his wife who is, decidedly, not looking to be courted.

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A Tuscan Legacy will keep us busy with nine books plus a novella. A good deal at $1.33

A Tuscan Legacy

Amazon quote:

When Isabella Rossi invites each of her adult grandchildren to her estate in the Tuscan hills for her eightieth birthday, she hopes to reunite a family fractured by distance, death, and secrets.

The birthday gift of a painting, arriving unsigned and with no sender’s details, rips open old heartbreak. One family secret has already been revealed, her youngest son Albertino’s illegitimate English daughter. Now it seems there could be yet more secrets.

Returning home, the cousins, scattered across three continents, each discover their lifetime love. When they gather again at the villa as summer ends, the remaining secrets are revealed. But can they be forgiven, or will the mistakes of the past be repeated?

Sounds interesting.

Happy Reading

 

 

 

Free book December 1, 2019

Author Chautona Havig made another suggestion, today.  Ghost of a Girl  is FREE It’s Young Adult (YA) and a Novelette. The beginning story in a new series The Good Shadows. Carol Alwood is a new author to me so I can’t make any comments on what this will be like. It looks like it’s worth a shot to me though.

Part of the synopsis on Amazon says…

He may be a mortician’s son, but that doesn’t mean he’s seen a ghost. Until one night…

Sixteen-year-old Owen Parker stays busy with his family’s business, playing basketball and keeping up his grades. But he’s never too busy for his friend and secret crush, Violet Blackstone. Lately, Violet is acting strange spending time with new friends, talking about going to parties, and blowing off plans to hang out. Owen forgives Violet for testing their friendship, but it still hurts.

Ghost of a Girl

I’m looking forward to checking out this book.

That’s it for free books today. It’s been a slow day for new material. Catch up time!

Currently I’m reading The Soldiers of Purple Heart Ranch book two.

Book one was The Corporal and the Choir Girl. Brandon is spending time at Purple Heart Ranch with his fellow Special Unit members, healing from a mission gone wrong. One of their four members disappeared in the unexpected blast. He is considered dead even though they can find no trace of his remains.

The three reach the ranch with a mission that’s two fold. Healing is one part but the painful part will be telling Reegan (gardener at the ranch) that her twin brother (the only remaining member of her family) is considered to be dead.

Afternoon church service surrounded by friends seems like the kindest place for her to hear the traumatic news. Brandon is captivated and filled with inner peace at the sound of the voice of an angel in the choir. Reegan’s voice silences the inner turmoil of guilt and flashbacks for the first time since the blast took his friend. He feels peace even though they have still have the telling ahead of them.

Reegan can’t accept their decree Reece is dead. She’s always had a sense of her brother’s presence and she can feel he’s still alive. Something’s wrong but he’s alive. She won’t accept the guilt Brandon feels either. Instead there’s this strong pull of inspiration to comfort him.

This collection is still a bargain today at $0.99. Grab a copy if you haven’t already.

The soldiers of the purple heart ranch

I’ll need to post about read & enjoyed books again soon

In the meantime Happy Reading.