Another this and that August 06, 2021

I think there is something wrong with me. I don’t feel like reading.

Shocking!

I’ve finished the book I was reading and can’t seem to settle on any of the five or six that are next in line. This rarely happens, I must be sick or something.

Maybe it’s or something. My mind has been pulled in a number of different directions today and right now it’s hard to settle down to a quiet occupation like reading.

One of the things I’ve been dwelling on this evening is the subject of the next couple of chapters read in the book called The Power of Writing It Down. The author makes a case for writing as a way to improve our health. Studies have demonstrated a change in moods by writing 20 minutes a day for two weeks, an effect that lasts for an even longer period of time.

The authors name is Allison Fallon. Allison is a writing coach and she has a large team of people working with her. Her book has come out of her personal and corporate experiences and in my mind that gives her credibility. The kind of writing addressed in this book is called expressive writing. Medical researchers have studied brain activity during writing experiences and they found that different parts of the brain would light up during different types of writing. What Allison calls expressive writing comes from the subconscious part of the brain rather than the conscious part where we live most of the time.

Today’s chapters talked about writing when we don’t feel inspired. We have nothing to say and yet if we sit quietly, meditatively, and we gradually set aside the conscious noise about all the things our mind goes to when we are supposed to be working or listening; something changes. Our mind becomes focused on a single thought and as we start to write, a conversation happens.

At the end, we read over what we’ve written, in amazement. Where did that come from? I wasn’t even thinking about any of that when I sat down and yet here it is.

Allison stresses that writing out of the subconscious helps us discover who we really are, not who we have made ourselves out to be to please others. It can be a little scary, thinking about what might come out of our subconscious. Maybe, hopefully, it will be positive more often than we might think.

I’ve experienced a little of this writing what I didn’t expect phenomenon while working on some of these this and that posts. I think they have turned out to be some of the best ones. Reader response seems to bear that out.

In the end. Writing like this was a very emotional experience and I was left with a pleasant aura that stayed with me for hours. It was very positive and I would love to have it happen many more times. Maybe it will as I practice this type of writing more often.

I know you have questions so I’ll say this…

The pleasant aura was kind of like when you read a extra specially good book or watch a movie that leaves you with an awww kind of feeling. Or when you do something that turns out so much better than expected and you can’t help but keep looking at it, thinking about how much you love it. And, at the same time you are thinking I can’t believe I just did that.

This turned out way different, and so much better than I visualized going in to this post. I was wanting to practice expressive writing tonight but I was worried at the same time. I’m feeling a big sigh of relief at the way this all went.

Photo by EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA on Pexels.com

I think I can settle down now and read a book for awhile.

Happy writing and happy reading.

Check out Allison’s book, maybe it will inspire you and meet a need, all at the same time.

There was one more exciting thought on my mind tonight but I will save it for another post.

Later.

This and that, August 05, 2021

I’m cheating, it’s two minutes to midnight. If I dawdle it will soon be August 5th, barely, so I’m not lying. It can still be tomorrow even if I haven’t been to bed yet, right? A sleep shouldn’t be mandatory to make it so.

I decided to go ahead and do a this and that post now as I’m still awake and tomorrow is going to be busy. I’m on a roll, up to 53 days in a row, I don’t want to take a chance on messing that up without a really good reason.

I’m still awake because we have a thunder and lightning storm going on. It was pretty loud there for awhile although it has calmed down a bit at the moment. Things can change in short order though.

Two good things about this storm – First, it cools things off, which is very nice, and the rain helps clear the smoke hanging around from all the forest fires in the area, and second, we need the moisture. It as been so dry this summer.

Tomorrow will be busy because I have some stuff going on and on top of that I have an appointment to get the covid shot. I qualified for it months ago but have been reluctant. For a number of reasons. I’m still somewhat reluctant but reason says I need to go ahead and do this. Who knows what the future holds, I may be thankful I did it.

Sounds like it’s raining out there again but I think it must be my imagination.

Talking about the garden, the bunnies are stunting my plants by eating the young growth off some of them. One of the worst is a bush I planted last year. It’s smaller now than when I planted it, it’s supposed to end up about 3-4 feet high. It’s not going to make it at this rate. I was trying to figure what I could use to protect it and I came up with the bright idea to use small branches from pruning one of the fast growing bushes in the backyard. I formed them into a sort of lattice work fence, close enough together that the bunnies won’t fit through the spaces. So far it seems to be working but I may have created another problem for myself. What if the branch cuttings root themselves where they are stuck into the ground? Hopefully the bush I am protecting will grow fast so I can take down the bunny fence before that happens. I’m not holding out too much hope, though.

I don’t think we have had any strikes tonight quite as strong as the brightest one in this picture but in general this is about what life looks like around here. Flat with lots of light flashing in the clouds.

Photo by Amol Mande on Pexels.com

The last big storm we had back in June, one of the lightening strikes hit a transformer here in town and we were without power for a number of hours. I hear it was quite spectacular.

I’m pretty sure tonight’s storm won’t be like that.

It’s 1 AM, I’d better go have that sleep so I’ll be ready for whatever tomorrow holds. Got to be in good shape for that shot.

Later!

I don’t write about politics, but …

I don’t write about politics but… I spend a lot of time paying attention.

I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure I’ve gained a number of followers based on my frequent presence on many of the popular sites. I expect they are disappointed to find I am not a political voice, never mind a loud one, in this digital world.

It takes a lot of work to be effective as a voice and my heart is not in it. I’m a staunch supporter though. Sites need subscribers, views (lots of them) and likes, to be noticed and taken seriously in the digital world. Not only that but voices need supporters to give them the courage to continue on in a place where someone wants to shut them up.

The beauty of a country where free speech is taken seriously; we are able to freely voice our thoughts and opinions, right or wrong. There seem to be bullies wanting to take away this right.

I follow dozens of sites but who I listen to most often, keeps changing. Mostly because of big tech censorship. There are certain things conservative voices are just not allowed to talk about. If they do they will be booted off any and all of the mainstream platforms.

That’s why things keep changing. People keep disappearing. The message doesn’t disappear though. New voices keep popping up, jumping into the fray, looking for the truth someone seems to want to keep from getting out. It used to be fairly easy to identify the voices, there were so few. Now they are multiplying like rabbits, which is a very good thing in these unprecedented days of censorship. We-the-people are noticing and saying hey, wait a minute! What is going on here?

My question in all of this is Why? That is a huge question.

There are a number of free speech replacement platforms under construction but it takes a lot of time and energy to have them working at a level even close to the efficiency of well established sites. It looks like locals.com and Rumble are making good progress with the investment interest they have been able to generate for their ideas. Dave Rubin of The Rubin Report is behind locals.com. He is a mover and shaker with a lot of great connections. It looks like he has a good chance at making it work.

I don’t see eye to eye with Dave Rubin on all of his opinions and positions; we are both OK with that. He is a voice of sanity in a world full of non stop yelling and I appreciate what he does and what he is trying to do.

I’m attaching one of his videos. I need a picture to dress up this post.

An introduction to a character I’ve just been talking about seems wise too, and besides, he is spending time with a sane politician about the very censorship I have been going on and on about. Adding this interview here seems like a good plan to me.

I have lots more to say on this whole subject but I’ll save it for another day when I feel inspired to share how I really feel about all of this.

Books may be the subject of a post, yet today. Now that I have this one off my chest I’ll finish my current read and do some browsing.

Later, y’all

This and that July 25, 2021

Right where I’m supposed to be.

Like most people I look at my life compared to others, convinced I come up short. What have I done that would amount to anything?

Lately, I’ve been hearing voices of reason saying there is only one you, the one person equipped with your unique talents. There are things only you can do. If you don’t do them they will be left undone. Be you. To the best of your ability.

I’m listening. Working toward being at peace with being me.

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Switching gears completely; there was an interesting email yesterday from prolific and popular author Davis Bunn. There were two attachments, one was a reading from his latest book and the other was a tour of his current address. They are living in a palace, how awesome is that.

I’ll share them here for you.

Here is a peek at his latest book. I’ve read and enjoyed the sample.

Prime Directive 

Amazon quote:

Lieutenant Amanda Bostick is ordered to investigate why scientists on a distant outpost on the planet of Lorian are being murdered with no alarm raised.

“In the past ninety days, sixteen colonists have been murdered, and nobody thought to report it until now?”

When a number of scientists are mysteriously killed on an insignificant scientific outpost on the planet of Loria and no alarm is raised, Commander Rickets of the Galactic Space Arm (GSA) is angered that no one can explain why. Rickets orders Lieutenant Amanda Bostick along with two armed Guardians, Sergeant Hamoud and Corporal Nasim, to investigate.

All three have faced setbacks in their careers and time is against them: the GSA is demanding answers within ten days. But they have no idea what to expect as there are few reports on the planet.

Why are the scientists being killed? Is there more to the mission than first appears? Are the sentient Lorians who inhabit the planet more of a threat than the GSA realize?

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This wasn’t on my radar for today’s post but now that it is I am more than happy to share with you.

If any other sudden inspirations pop up, I will plan on This and That part two.

Enjoy your day.

Happy Reading.

How was your week?

This was a letter to a friend tonight, chatting and asking about her week. It was fun to remember good days gone by and I thought it would be nice to share memories with you too. This takes place in Canada.

How was your week? Was the weather warmer than you’d like? Did you have a chance to get to the mainland to see the kids?

Our weather has been warm again the last few days. It makes me very grateful for A/C when temps are in the 30s. I like to be outside when it’s working though because cold air blowing around makes me shiver. I sit on the deck with a book and a coffee to enjoy the heat. I don’t work in the yard though, exertion in heat like that is a killer. My body doesn’t handle overheated very well anymore. I wait for evenings and mornings to garden.

We’ve had air quality alerts with all the smoke hanging around from the many forest fires between Saskatchewan, here, and western Ontario. We don’t have nearly as many fires as you do in BC but still, there’s been enough smoke to reduce visibility and turn what sun we could see orange. We’ve had rain with thunder and lightning where I live. The rain seems to be localized. Some areas get it and others don’t. The farmers are having a hard time of it. Some are selling off their herds as they are having trouble with feeding them.

One of my neighbors has been replacing part of his fence due to the weather. It had a definite list to it after one of the big storms whipping through at the end of May. The wind can get really wild around here with major storms . Watching the poor trees taking a beating and listening to roar of the wind, always makes me think of being out on the water. Between the number of years spent near the ocean in North Vancouver, Prince Rupert, and then Chemainus, there must be scary memories buried somewhere in my subconscious data bank.

I guess the ocean wasn’t the only place we experienced scary times. One year, when Gerald was four months old, we were camping in a tent at Mara Lake in the Okanagan. A big storm whipped up on the lake, strong enough to take out trees. We were hiding in our tent through it all, fortunately we were in the middle of a field and it didn’t last long. The campers parked among the trees closer to the beach were not as lucky, several had trees fall on them (the vehicles, not the people, thankfully.) I’ll never forget that trip.

The other strong memory I have from that holiday was staying among the trees (apricots) in an orchard turned campground. That’s what you call diversification. It was at the south end of Okanagan Lake on the eastern shore. It was pretty and different. It was hot too. So hot that my can of baby formula was wrecked. Who knew? I was a new mom with little baby food experience.

Of course, this also reminds me of our first summer camping trip about six years earlier. We were headed to Regina for a visit with Dave’s sister and we camped overnight in Jasper. It never crossed our minds to think that we would freeze to death in our tent in summer in the middle of the Rocky Mountain forest. We were fast learners, let me tell you. Not a whole lot of sleep that night. We travelled on hoping to stop for the night somewhere in Saskatchewan never realizing there would be no tress to speak of. We were spoiled with BC forest campgrounds. Not finding any trees, we opted for a motel room. We were more experienced on the return trip.

Lots of good camping experiences. I could share memories all night but I’d better quit.

I am doing well, in spite of the heat. Life is quiet around here. The biggest excitement currently, aside from the fence, is the bunny eating all the tender plants in the neighborhood. I have a feeling he’s alone and sticks pretty close to places he knows. Sad for us.

Have a great weekend.

Still praying God’s blessing and strength for you and your family.

♥ J

Photo by GEORGE DESIPRIS on Pexels.com

This and that July 22, 2021

I have no new suggestions today. Some days are just like that and I’ve decided I’m OK with it.

I think my goal for the moment needs to be – reduce the line up of books waiting to be read.

It’s gradually gotten out of hand and I’m finding it overwhelming, if I’m being honest. I can hear someone saying – it took you long enough. What can I say. I’m a sucker for books 🙂 Anyway, I purposely haven’t done a deep dive today looking for bargains.

Moving on,

The last number of weeks I’ve spent a significant amount of time watching podcasts and while I’ve enjoyed them I’m realizing there is a down side to this kind of indulgence. Many (not all) of the sites I’ve subscribed to are built around the state of world news. Between opinions and an over abundance of information there comes a point where enough is too much. I feel weighed down, and distracted. There are other things requiring my attention and I haven’t been able to do them justice.

This blog has been affected the most by this stealing of reading/writing time. My mind feels foggy and empty. It takes a good amount of thinking time to have something to say. It takes input too. The trouble with the podcasts is the political subject matter. I don’t write about politics and the abundance of input produces no fruit in my world.

Reading, on the other hand, always spurs some kind of usable thinking.

I’m going on a podcast diet, cutting way back on time spent and it’s helping. With more time devoted to reading, the fog seems to be lifting enough to make comments.

During last nights post, I found I’d inadvertently started a new read with the novella belonging between books 1 and 2 in the Culper Ring series. I was too far into it to avoid the spoiler so I went ahead and finished it. Going back to the beginning, I’m now half way through book one and while the novella has given away one aspect of the ending it hasn’t spoiled the whole book for me. It is still a good read with lots of unexpected action.

Another decision in the back-to-reading restrictive diet was concerning my TBR list of neglected Non-fiction downloads.

Earmarking an hour devoted to Non-fiction reading seemed like a reasonable way to make some headway. The Power of Writing It Down is my pick for current read and I’m almost to the end of the first chapter.

This read definitely takes more work, that’s for sure. The author packs every single page full with thoughts, concepts, and information. A number of things stood out for me, right from page one.

I need time to chew on them before I can make comment.

There was one thought towering above the rest, though.

Research shows that thought patterns and tasks performed thousand of times create a rut or neural pathway and without conscious thought the mind automatically goes there. It’s discouraging to think that without thought these ruts lead us to unhealthy places. On the plus side: research also shows that with conscious choosing of different, healthier paths, performed enough times, over time they can overwrite and replace the old unhealthy paths.

This idea resonates with me more than usual. I think it’s because, even before reading this book, I’ve found myself practicing new patterns of thought and actions this summer. I’ve noticed myself making different decisions and choices and I’m pretty happy thinking about what it means going forward. I’ve been praying for healing and it appears to be on the way.

Read and current reads

Happy Reading y’all

Read and enjoyed July 21, 2021

This was my favorite read of the week. A story full of family secrets.

Going in, I never would have guessed how far they extended.

It seemed like many of the secrets started with a particular tragedy. If that heart breaking event could have been prevented, life would have been so much different. That was the general opinion.

But would it have, really?

On the surface you would think so but further down the road, the truth of that seemed much less likely.

There was nothing predictable about this story. The secrets seemed to multiply as the story went on. Details were allowed to filter out a little at a time. In some ways it was frustrating but mostly it was appreciated.

The characters were well developed and one couldn’t help but be drawn into their emotional struggles.

I could never have predicted the ending. A couple of details, maybe, but not the overall picture. Very nice.

Things Left Unsaid

Amazon quote:

An emotional novel of family, friendship and forgiveness from Courtney Walsh, the New York Times bestselling author of Hometown Girl.

Lyndie St. James is thrilled that her best friend, Elle, is getting married but unprepared for the emotional storm of the wedding week and returning to her childhood summer home of Sweethaven. The idyllic cottage community harbors some of her best—and worst—memories. It’s not only the tragic death of her childhood friend Cassie that has haunted her for ten years, it’s the other secrets she’s buried that have kept her from moving on.

But Lyndie isn’t the only one with secrets.

Cassie’s mother, father and brother, still struggling with the loss, have been drifting further and further apart. And Elle herself, the last to see Cassie alive, carries an impossible burden of guilt. Now reunited, each of them has a choice: to reveal the truths of that night or continue to live in its shadow. That means embarking on a personal journey of the heart—to escape the darkness and all its regrets and to finally come to terms with the past and, especially, with each other.

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I would definitely read this book again.

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Currently I’m reading a book I shouldn’t be, I don’t think.

It’s a short story, I’m already 1/4 of the way through. I’m not entirely sure what is going on yet as details are being doled out sparingly.

Pulling up the cover to include in this post, I realize my mistake. It’s a novella, meant to be a bridge between book 1 and 2 in the series. Oops.

Book 1 begins only 10 years earlier. Now, I’m not sure if I should stop and read book 1 first or carry on and take my chances.

I think I will be taking my chances.

I’m intrigued with the novella, I’m looking forward to book 1 being just as engaging.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Happy Reading!

Confessions of an abuse survivor

I decided to name this post, and any future posts like it, in a way that would provide a heads up for anyone wishing to avoid such emotional discussions. I’m not planning on raw, uncomfortable, tell-alls, I know difficult discussions can be had in a civilized manner.

Anyway, today’s post doesn’t include any of that.

This could be a this-and-that kind of day except my thoughts have been heavier than that this week. Confession seems to be a more appropriate label.

I debated including the term abuse survivor but decided it gives context to where my head is at with the topics. There is nothing frivolous in my contemplations.

Enough of that.

So here’s the thing I’m trying to figure out. Why?

That’s what I need to know. Why?

I haven’t come up with an answer, so far, and I doubt this writing exercise will be all that revealing but I have to try.

I’m reluctant to tell you what I’m referring to because when I think of putting it into words, in my mind it sounds silly. I’m afraid you will dismiss it as such if I tell you what I’m thinking.

So, partial confession. As I’m contemplating the why of my reluctance to take on a certain task I’m wondering if maybe a trigger is behind it. What thought or emotion is holding me back?

So, here’s the thing. In the last year or so, because of interviews and the like, I’ve been exposed to non fiction books, mostly related to my life experience with abuse. They struck me as useful in my healing journey and I put out a significant amount of money to obtain them.

I was excited to have them, paid full price for most of them, and yet I can’t seem to make myself take the time to read them.

Were they just another bright idea that didn’t survive the light of day?

Would my reluctance to tackle the challenge stem from deep insecurities? The fear of failure?

Could the reticence be linked to anticipated emotional responses to painful subjects?

Are there unidentified triggers going on?

I’ve faced head on the physical abuse attributable to my dad. At the same time, I will admit I don’t want to think about or deal with the emotional abuse stemming from my mother or my marriage.

Is that what this is about?

I’ve heard it said we must ask ourselves this question – Do you want to be healed, really want to be healed?

When we honestly ask ourselves this question we might be surprised to find that the answer is no. The price we would have to pay to find healing could seem too high.

If I’m really honest, I think when it comes to my mother and my marriage, my heart says the price is too high.

I do really want to be healed. I’m not acting like it.

I will keep on thinking and praying about this.

In the meantime…

Some of the books in the lineup.

The one I’m considering at the moment is The Power of Writing It Down

If you made it this far, thanks for listening.

This and that July 18, 2021

I’ve discovered it’s best to date these things. They all merge together otherwise. Indistinguishable.

It’s warm out there! That the biggest thing on my mind at this moment. Usually it starts to cool off a little by 7 PM but not tonight. I went out to do some watering and quickly changed my mind. Later.

The highlight of the week was last night’s family Zoom call. Most of us live thousands of miles apart. We enjoy one another but we are not good at staying in touch. In all honesty, I’d have to admit that would be a gross understatement. Since we’ve committed to a Zoom call once a month, we are doing much better at connecting and we are having a lot of fun. The next call is going to fall on my birthday, how nice is that!

So, the other thing on my mind this week was tied up with a comment I made the other day about a writing project I had in mind. I’ve been thinking about this for a very long time but even more so lately. It seemed like it was time to do something about it so this weekend I did put some hours into it and wrote something. In the end, I didn’t use any of it.

I’m surprised about the level of unexpected relief I felt.

Part of the impetus for this writing project was to have a place where I could fill the need to rant and rave once in a while. I couldn’t do it here, didn’t want to do it here, I felt like it would spoil everything.

Anyway, I created another space, wrote an introductory piece with a small rant at the end, and struggled with getting the site set up the way I wanted it. No matter what I did nothing was going right.

By the time I decided to give it all up and deleted the new blog, my rant had lost it’s steam and I felt a lightness I didn’t have earlier.

Sometimes it’s healthy to visit the dark places but sometimes it’s not. There already is an over abundance of negative self-talk going on in my head I don’t need more. It feels healthier, for the most part, to stick to the lighter side of things in my communications with the world.

Part of my reason for wanting a place to rant was to work my way through some of the life long issues that surface from time to time. Writing and talking can be very therapeutic.

The subject of my short rant was acknowledging, for the first time, that my parents were selfish, immature teenager/young adults making unhealthy decisions and choices without a worry over whose life would be negatively affected. I can’t believe that they would unthinkingly do what they did.

While it was healthy to face this truth, I could see that to camp on the negative side of my life, while creating content for a new blog on a regular basis, would be injurious to my emotional health.

I’m so glad I’ve got that all figured out.

Maybe for future needs, I can work through the issue in my mind and then reduce it to a short paragraph. That should take care of everything

There is one more truth recently discovered but I’ll save that topic for another time. It’s a very encouraging truth. I must share it with my brothers.

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Currently I’m reading book one in a three book collection.

A Family to Love by Cindy M Amos and several others

Skinny Ranch Romance – Cindy M. Amos
When a hometown parade explodes with violence targeted at obese onlookers, District Judge Ilie Walton is forced to team with former classmate Traynor Henning for a trial reduction program for the victims. None too pleased over the partnership with Tray, Ilie claims to remain blind to his Zach Efron good looks in the name of justice. As the fence lengthens and the pounds melt off volunteer participants, Tray’s devotion softens her resolve, launching a romantic partnership. When new evidence emerges on a cold case involving a death at their senior class party, Ilie insists that justice prevail, though it threatens to sever their tenuous relationship. Tired of bearing the guilt, Tray faces off with his buddy Rex about what really happened that day in his boat. When the cold case turns red hot, will Ilie stand with the hardworking rancher—or do justice and reconciliation take two separate paths?

The scales of justice possess keen discernment, yet love never needed a final verdict to overcome.

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This is the one recently finished

Dearly Loved: Second Chance Christian Romance

The lovesick daydreams of Meredith Ambrose’s teenage years for neighborhood heartthrob David Steller have faded into uncomfortable memories-until he lands in a hospital bed in her unit where she works as an R.N.

David came to the Northwest to look her up-he just didn’t plan on their reunion occurring with him on a gurney. Can he prove he’s really changed after all these years? (Christian romance)

Happy Reading!!

This and that part two July 14, 2021

I was talking about plants in part one but that isn’t what I’ve spent the most time thinking about today. More than plants I’ve been thinking about a new podcaster someone told me about the other day. He has a number of channels started and has been posting short videos on most of them.

This fellow is personable, interesting, animated, and funny. He knows how to supply great content since he is a Hollywood producer in real life. He has a different focus for each channel. There are four or five of them and I’ve subscribed to them all.

So today he was posting short clips from the Grand Canyon in Arizona. It is beautiful. The coloring in the clip I’ll share with you is amazing.

This first one is the link for the story he promised in the last clip.

This next is the first beautiful clip I promised above. Not sure how they ended up in the wrong order but that’s the way things go sometimes. Enjoy the beautiful view.

His name is Michael, I’m sure he’s mentioned his last name somewhere but I didn’t catch it. If you enjoy him, he does give the links to all of his channels now and then as well.

Enjoy the Grand Canyon