understanding

This and that August 14, 2021

/ For the Love of Books / Leave a comment

So, first off this morning, I’m catching up on sites I follow on YouTube. This particular guy is prolific and it’s very easy to fall behind on his channels.

I love the video I’m about to share and I think you will love it too.

The creator of this series is a Hollywood producer, he has worked on shows like Entertainment Tonight and other shows you may recognize. I can’t think of them all at the moment but I can tell you this… he knows how to do a good job.

He is not just a producer, he also a writer working on the script for an outer space type movie that doesn’t yet have a name.

While researching to make sure his script is production ready he formed a connection with an astrophysicist who, it turns out, is excited about his project. They clicked as like-minded people even though they work in vastly different disciplines. Out of this unlikely friendship they’ve created another video project, totally unrelated to the original film idea.

This explanation may be clear as mud but if you watch their first introductory video explaining how they met and what they are trying to do, it will make more sense.

They have many videos in the new series, already edited and ready to go. This lets us know it’s not a bright idea that will fizzle out after a couple of episodes.

These guys are interesting and funny. They have good chemistry and are relaxed with each other, which makes the watching experience enjoyable. The content is excellent and that makes it even better.

I enjoy listening to these guys and I’m very much looking forward to more. They have a new release scheduled for Saturday mornings, 6 am California time.

Check this out. Jeff and Mike

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Mike is currently on a road trip that started just this morning, well technically he left home last night but couldn’t have gone far. The idea of the trip is to share grassroots America with his fellow countrymen as well as the rest of the world. He’s hardly left home and is already posting short clips on some of his other channels.

This guy is a Type A personality with ADD. He has new ideas popping out everywhere… but he produces and he’s interesting to watch.

At least many of us think so.

He has his detractors like most everyone else on line these days. I’ve heard it said of leaders… if everyone loves you – you’re not doing it right. He must be doing something right.

I’m sure I will share more from this guy. He has a bunch of other channels, with different focus and goals in mind. He also has several episodes he does with his mom. She is an interesting lady and has an exceptional story to tell.

But that will be a post for another day.

Oops, I see he just posted another video on this channel about his mom, must go watch it.

There’s a good chance you will see more from me later on.

Happy Watching and Reading

Another this and that August 06, 2021

/ For the Love of Books / 5 Comments

I think there is something wrong with me. I don’t feel like reading.

Shocking!

I’ve finished the book I was reading and can’t seem to settle on any of the five or six that are next in line. This rarely happens, I must be sick or something.

Maybe it’s or something. My mind has been pulled in a number of different directions today and right now it’s hard to settle down to a quiet occupation like reading.

One of the things I’ve been dwelling on this evening is the subject of the next couple of chapters read in the book called The Power of Writing It Down. The author makes a case for writing as a way to improve our health. Studies have demonstrated a change in moods by writing 20 minutes a day for two weeks, an effect that lasts for an even longer period of time.

The authors name is Allison Fallon. Allison is a writing coach and she has a large team of people working with her. Her book has come out of her personal and corporate experiences and in my mind that gives her credibility. The kind of writing addressed in this book is called expressive writing. Medical researchers have studied brain activity during writing experiences and they found that different parts of the brain would light up during different types of writing. What Allison calls expressive writing comes from the subconscious part of the brain rather than the conscious part where we live most of the time.

Today’s chapters talked about writing when we don’t feel inspired. We have nothing to say and yet if we sit quietly, meditatively, and we gradually set aside the conscious noise about all the things our mind goes to when we are supposed to be working or listening; something changes. Our mind becomes focused on a single thought and as we start to write, a conversation happens.

At the end, we read over what we’ve written, in amazement. Where did that come from? I wasn’t even thinking about any of that when I sat down and yet here it is.

Allison stresses that writing out of the subconscious helps us discover who we really are, not who we have made ourselves out to be to please others. It can be a little scary, thinking about what might come out of our subconscious. Maybe, hopefully, it will be positive more often than we might think.

I’ve experienced a little of this writing what I didn’t expect phenomenon while working on some of these this and that posts. I think they have turned out to be some of the best ones. Reader response seems to bear that out.

In the end. Writing like this was a very emotional experience and I was left with a pleasant aura that stayed with me for hours. It was very positive and I would love to have it happen many more times. Maybe it will as I practice this type of writing more often.

I know you have questions so I’ll say this…

The pleasant aura was kind of like when you read a extra specially good book or watch a movie that leaves you with an awww kind of feeling. Or when you do something that turns out so much better than expected and you can’t help but keep looking at it, thinking about how much you love it. And, at the same time you are thinking I can’t believe I just did that.

This turned out way different, and so much better than I visualized going in to this post. I was wanting to practice expressive writing tonight but I was worried at the same time. I’m feeling a big sigh of relief at the way this all went.

Photo by EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA on Pexels.com

I think I can settle down now and read a book for awhile.

Happy writing and happy reading.

Check out Allison’s book, maybe it will inspire you and meet a need, all at the same time.

There was one more exciting thought on my mind tonight but I will save it for another post.

Later.

Free and bargain books August 2, 2021

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BookBub has a FREE suggestion for us. This was on my reading list in 2017 and I can still vividly remember this story. If I had time I would read it again. It was unpredictable, that was one of the things I loved the best about this book.

Stealthy Steps (Nanostealth Book 1) 

Amazon quote:

My name is Gemma Keyes. Other than my name, I am utterly forgettable—so those who never paid much attention to me in the first place haven’t exactly noticed that I’ve disappeared. Vanished. Oh, it’s much more complicated than it sounds. I’ve had to learn the hard way: Invisibility comes with its own set of problems.

I should tell you about Dr. Daniel Bickel, world-renowned nanophysicist. We used to work together, but I’ll be candid with you: He’s supposed to be dead. Well, he’s not. (Imagine my surprise.) Instead of the proverbial “six feet under,” he’s subsisting in an abandoned devolution cavern beneath the old Manzano Weapons Storage Facility on Kirtland Air Force Base here in Albuquerque.

“I need to show you what I’m protecting here, Gemma,” he insisted.

I stared into the clear glass case. I could hear . . . humming, clicking, buzzing. A faint haze inside the box shifted. Dissolved. Came back together. Reminded me of how mercury, when released on a plate, will flow and form new shapes. Only this, this thing was “flowing and forming” in midair.

“Do you see them?” Dr. Bickel asked.

“Them?” I was confused. My mouth opened to a stunned “o” as the silver haze resolved into blue letters.

H E L L O

Dr. Bickel hadn’t pressed any buttons. Hadn’t said anything to them. Hadn’t gestured.

He grinned. “Ah. They’ve noticed you. They know they haven’t seen you before.”

“Well, I wish they wouldn’t notice me!” I choked on the words, my eyes fixed on the glass case.

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1531 Entertainment has a bargain suggestion for us, It’s a four book collection, two of them are in my downloads and I’ve read one of them. I do enjoy this author.

The Complete Shepherd’s Heart Series: A Boxed Set Book Bundle Collection Volumes 1-4

Amazon quote:

1. Rocky Mountain Oasis:
Brooke Baker, sold as a mail-order bride, looks to her future with dread but firm resolve. If she survived Uncle Jackson, she can survive anyone.

When Sky Jordan hears that his nefarious cousin has sent for a mail-order bride, he knows he has to prevent the marriage. No woman deserves to be left to that fate. Still, he’s as surprised as anyone to find himself standing next to her before the minister.

Brooke’s new husband turns out to be kinder than any man has ever been. But then the unthinkable happens and she holds the key that might save innocent lives but destroy Sky all in one fell swoop. It’s a choice too unbearable to contemplate…but a choice that must be made.

2. High Desert Haven:
When her husband dies in a mysterious riding accident, Nicki Trent is left with a toddler and a rundown ranch. Determined to bring her ranch back from the brink of death, Nicki hires handsome Jason Jordan to help. But when William, her neighbor, starts pressing for her hand in marriage, the bank calls in a loan she didn’t even know about, bullets start flying, and a burlap dummy with a knife in its chest shows up on her doorstep, Nicki wonders if this ranch is worth all the trouble.

To make matters worse, terrible things keep happening to her neighbors. When her friend’s homestead is burned to the ground and William lays the blame at Jason’s feet, Nicki wonders how well she knows her new hand…and her own heart.

3. Fair Valley Refuge:
Victoria Snyder, adopted when she was only days old, pastes on a smile for her mama’s wedding day, but inside she’s all atremble. Lawman Rocky Jordan is back home. And this time he’s got a bullet hole in his shoulder and enough audacity to come calling. Since tragedy seems to strike those she cares for with uncanny frequency, she wants nothing to do with a man who could be killed in the line of duty like her father.

But when an orphan-train arrives at the Salem depot, Victoria is irresistibly drawn toward the three remaining “unlovable” children…and stunned by a proposal that will change all of their lives forever.

4. Spring Meadow Sanctuary:
Heart pounding in shock, Sharyah Jordan gapes at the outlaw staring down the barrel of his gun at her. Cascade Bennett shattered her dreams only last summer, and now he plans to kidnap her and haul her into the wilderness with a bunch of outlaws…for her own protection? She’d rather be locked in her classroom for a whole week with Brandon McBride and his arsenal of tricks, and that was saying something.

Cade Bennett’s heart nearly drops to his toes when he sees Sharyah standing by the desk. Sharyah Jordan was not supposed to be here. Blast if he didn’t hate complications, and Sharyah with her alluring brown eyes and silky blond hair was a walking, talking personification of complication.

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Browsing a little, I ran across a FREE book by anther favorite author. It’s non fiction, a book on prayer, but it looks like it will be a seriously fun read. Diane Moody has a gift for delivering stories laced with humor. I’m looking forward to this read.

Confessions of a Prayer Slacker (Second Edition) 

Let’s face it. Most of us are clueless when it comes to praying. Why is that? And how come we’ve never done anything about it? In Confessions of a Prayer Slacker, author Diane Moody traces her own personal prayer journey with a touch of humor and a healthy dose of transparency.

‘‘I want my readers to stop the merry-go-round of prayerlessness, quit acting like a bunch of spiritual babies, and get serious about this thing called prayer. Without it, we’ll never experience the warm, one-on-one relationship God desires to have with each one of us.”

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I’m still deciding on a current read but I’m leaning toward another Mystery/Suspense of some sort.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Happy Reading

I don’t write about politics, but …

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I don’t write about politics but… I spend a lot of time paying attention.

I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure I’ve gained a number of followers based on my frequent presence on many of the popular sites. I expect they are disappointed to find I am not a political voice, never mind a loud one, in this digital world.

It takes a lot of work to be effective as a voice and my heart is not in it. I’m a staunch supporter though. Sites need subscribers, views (lots of them) and likes, to be noticed and taken seriously in the digital world. Not only that but voices need supporters to give them the courage to continue on in a place where someone wants to shut them up.

The beauty of a country where free speech is taken seriously; we are able to freely voice our thoughts and opinions, right or wrong. There seem to be bullies wanting to take away this right.

I follow dozens of sites but who I listen to most often, keeps changing. Mostly because of big tech censorship. There are certain things conservative voices are just not allowed to talk about. If they do they will be booted off any and all of the mainstream platforms.

That’s why things keep changing. People keep disappearing. The message doesn’t disappear though. New voices keep popping up, jumping into the fray, looking for the truth someone seems to want to keep from getting out. It used to be fairly easy to identify the voices, there were so few. Now they are multiplying like rabbits, which is a very good thing in these unprecedented days of censorship. We-the-people are noticing and saying hey, wait a minute! What is going on here?

My question in all of this is Why? That is a huge question.

There are a number of free speech replacement platforms under construction but it takes a lot of time and energy to have them working at a level even close to the efficiency of well established sites. It looks like locals.com and Rumble are making good progress with the investment interest they have been able to generate for their ideas. Dave Rubin of The Rubin Report is behind locals.com. He is a mover and shaker with a lot of great connections. It looks like he has a good chance at making it work.

I don’t see eye to eye with Dave Rubin on all of his opinions and positions; we are both OK with that. He is a voice of sanity in a world full of non stop yelling and I appreciate what he does and what he is trying to do.

I’m attaching one of his videos. I need a picture to dress up this post.

An introduction to a character I’ve just been talking about seems wise too, and besides, he is spending time with a sane politician about the very censorship I have been going on and on about. Adding this interview here seems like a good plan to me.

I have lots more to say on this whole subject but I’ll save it for another day when I feel inspired to share how I really feel about all of this.

Books may be the subject of a post, yet today. Now that I have this one off my chest I’ll finish my current read and do some browsing.

Later, y’all

This and that July 22, 2021

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I have no new suggestions today. Some days are just like that and I’ve decided I’m OK with it.

I think my goal for the moment needs to be – reduce the line up of books waiting to be read.

It’s gradually gotten out of hand and I’m finding it overwhelming, if I’m being honest. I can hear someone saying – it took you long enough. What can I say. I’m a sucker for books 🙂 Anyway, I purposely haven’t done a deep dive today looking for bargains.

Moving on,

The last number of weeks I’ve spent a significant amount of time watching podcasts and while I’ve enjoyed them I’m realizing there is a down side to this kind of indulgence. Many (not all) of the sites I’ve subscribed to are built around the state of world news. Between opinions and an over abundance of information there comes a point where enough is too much. I feel weighed down, and distracted. There are other things requiring my attention and I haven’t been able to do them justice.

This blog has been affected the most by this stealing of reading/writing time. My mind feels foggy and empty. It takes a good amount of thinking time to have something to say. It takes input too. The trouble with the podcasts is the political subject matter. I don’t write about politics and the abundance of input produces no fruit in my world.

Reading, on the other hand, always spurs some kind of usable thinking.

I’m going on a podcast diet, cutting way back on time spent and it’s helping. With more time devoted to reading, the fog seems to be lifting enough to make comments.

During last nights post, I found I’d inadvertently started a new read with the novella belonging between books 1 and 2 in the Culper Ring series. I was too far into it to avoid the spoiler so I went ahead and finished it. Going back to the beginning, I’m now half way through book one and while the novella has given away one aspect of the ending it hasn’t spoiled the whole book for me. It is still a good read with lots of unexpected action.

Another decision in the back-to-reading restrictive diet was concerning my TBR list of neglected Non-fiction downloads.

Earmarking an hour devoted to Non-fiction reading seemed like a reasonable way to make some headway. The Power of Writing It Down is my pick for current read and I’m almost to the end of the first chapter.

This read definitely takes more work, that’s for sure. The author packs every single page full with thoughts, concepts, and information. A number of things stood out for me, right from page one.

I need time to chew on them before I can make comment.

There was one thought towering above the rest, though.

Research shows that thought patterns and tasks performed thousand of times create a rut or neural pathway and without conscious thought the mind automatically goes there. It’s discouraging to think that without thought these ruts lead us to unhealthy places. On the plus side: research also shows that with conscious choosing of different, healthier paths, performed enough times, over time they can overwrite and replace the old unhealthy paths.

This idea resonates with me more than usual. I think it’s because, even before reading this book, I’ve found myself practicing new patterns of thought and actions this summer. I’ve noticed myself making different decisions and choices and I’m pretty happy thinking about what it means going forward. I’ve been praying for healing and it appears to be on the way.

Read and current reads

Happy Reading y’all

A plug for Jerry Jenkins

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Just so you know who he is…

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He’s giving away FREE writing advice so I doubt he will mind me sharing parts of today’s email with you.

The reason I’m inspired to share this? It’s a message I often wish I could deliver to promising authors. Their writing would be so much better if they learned this secret.

Well, I guess it’s not much of a secret, but there are still those who have yet to discover the difference this practice can make.

His email is long so I will pick and chose, to give you the idea.

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His email is jerry@jerryjenkins.com

Jerry says…

If I could give you ONLY one writing tip…

So here it is: Avoid on-the-nose writing.

This is one of the most common mistakes I see in otherwise good writing.

(I left out his next comment – a really long and detailed example of on-the-nose writing)

Here’s how that scene should be rendered:

Paige’s phone chirped. It was her fiancé, Jim, and he told her something about one of their best friends that made her forget where she was.

“Cancer?” she whispered, barely able to speak. “I didn’t even know Alyson was sick. Did you?”

Trust me, not one reader is going to wonder how she knew the caller was Jim.

We don’t need to be told that the chirp told her she had a call (duh), that her phone is in her purse, that her purse is over her shoulder, that she has to open it to get her phone, push a button to take the call, put the phone to her ear to hear and to speak, identify herself to the caller, be informed who it is…

…you get the point.

If you’ve fallen into on-the-nose writing (and we all have), don’t beat yourself up. It shows you have the ability to mirror real life.

That’s nice. Now quit it.

Leave that to the amateurs.

Separate yourself from the competition by noticing the important stuff.

Dig deep.

Go past the surface.

Mine your emotions, your mind and heart and soul, and remember how it felt when you got news like that about a friend or loved one.

Don’t distract with minutia. Give the readers the adventure they signed up for when they chose to read your story.

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Jerry has a free workshop coming up if you are interested in hearing more from him…

P.S. Watch your inbox Thursday around noon Central for my next email. We’ll talk about what to do if you post your writing online and no one responds.

P.P.S. If you liked today’s little writing tip, you’ll love this: Join me Monday at noon or 7 p.m. Central, when I’m hosting a special FREE workshop How I Write Bestselling Novels. You can reserve your seat by clicking here—only 3000 spots available per session!

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Sign up for his email, he’s always giving away free advice.

And… he knows how to WRITE.

Most of all, remember today’s writing tip.

Morning chat July 11, 2021

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I took a little break from reading to pour a new cup of tea and while I was at it I felt like saying good morning to someone, since I am in such a good mood. Saying good morning to you seemed like the best choice and so, here I am.

So, why am I in a good mood? Well, I think it’s me picking up on the mood in my current read. Everything is going well for the characters and I’m happy about the way things are playing out. I’m happy about the writing too. Ultimately it is the authors treatment and handling of the story that elicits this type of response from me, the reader.

Hmmmm. It hasn’t ever occurred to me to express it quite like that before. When I stop and think about it, though, it’s true. On the surface I love the story but what I’m truly loving is the writing and the heart of the author.

There is a Bible verse that says out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. It is so true. We write from who we are.

Our books and stories are flavored by our hearts. Our hearts are flavored by our thoughts, our outlook on life.

I’d try to explain what’s going on with the story but it’s complicated and convoluted. It would probably take me at least 5000 words and I know we aren’t ready for that. I’ll give you the brief synopsis from Amazon, it says it better than I could at the moment.

It’s talking about book three in the four book collection.

As a side note, I have to say I’ve enjoyed everything I’ve read in this collection so far.

Warfare of Love 

HOMETOWN HERO
Fighting through two years without leave and secret feelings, Davis and Muller must go undercover as newlyweds to stop the disaster.

When a shocking mix up with the chaplain makes their undercover roles a reality; Wolf and Angel must unmask a mole, stop a terrorist, protect the President-elect and untangle the events that just made them partners for life.

Can undercover love survive in the midst of trial?

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It’s been nice chatting with you. Gaining a little insight into the way books affect me has been an unexpected added bonus. I love it when that happens.

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I’m not sure if this qualifies as the official post for today. I don’t really think so but time will tell. Maybe I’ll see you again later.

Hopefully after I’ve conquered book 4 in this collection. It’s still a bargain if you are interested.

Later, maybe.

Happy Reading.

Perfect timing

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It’s amazing how it happens. Perfect timing.

Yesterday’s post shared the idea of counselling in a book. Check it out here if you missed it… Love is a Choice

This morning, waiting in my inbox, was the regular email notification for the weekly podcast I follow faithfully. The content is always interesting and helpful, on a variety of topics. Today’s topic was especially meaningful on the heels of yesterday’s book. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect, the two books fit so well together.

The subject line of the email was an attention grabber.

A specific type of writing that will combat anxiety, depression, and symptoms from past trauma.

There was no way I could walk away from this podcast and leave it for another day. It had to be today. I watched it twice, it was packed that full. .

Today’s interviewee has written a book called The Power of Writing it Down.

Part of author/writing coach Allison Fallon’s target audience is the same crowd flocking to read Love is a Choice... Count me in.

The Power of Writing It Down: A Simple Habit to Unlock Your Brain and Reimagine Your Life

Partial Amazon synopsis:

For anyone who’s trying to make sense of their life, who wants to get unstuck from the patterns that hold them back, hear this incredible news: everything you need for the freedom you want is entirely within reach. This practice and pathway is free, it’s readily available every day of your life, it takes just minutes of your time, and anyone can do it. 

Author, writing coach, and speaker Allison Fallon’s life transformed when she discovered the power of a daily writing practice. As it turns out, using your words is one of the most powerful means you have for unlocking your life. The Power of Writing It Down is your guide to this transformative tool available to us all. In as little as five to twenty minutes a day, scientific research shows this daily practice can help you: 

  • Identify your ruts and create new neurological grooves toward better habits
  • Find fresh motivation and take ownership of your life
  • Heal from past pain and trauma
  • Relieve anxiety and depression
  • Contextualize life’s setbacks and minor frustrations
  • Live a more confident, balanced, and healthy life
  • …and so much more

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In the podcast interview she explains Expressive Writing well and mentioned that the writing talked about in her book is not regular writing and it’s not journaling. It makes a lot of sense.

The idea is to write down your deepest thought and feelings. I have experienced what she means when she says this type of writing accesses the subconscious part of the brain where the conscious is often not allowed.

This is basically what I do when I write my this and that posts. What comes out is often a surprise. With some of the posts, like I mentioned at the time of writing them, I was in the midst of angst and felt so much better when I was talked out. To really get into it, though, I expect most of it would not be something we’d want to share publicly.

I recommend listening to the interview before reading the book. I’m glad I did because hearing and seeing her will make the words on the page that much more real.

Practicing this form of writing will be helpful to everyone, not just the most broken among us.

Here is the link. Enjoy, and buy the book if it makes sense to you. I think you will be glad you did.

I haven’t been as intentional with this type of writing as is encouraged in her book. From ignorance, really. I want to try it her way, to see what the difference will be in my life.

I’m hoping you will discover this along with me.

Happy listening, reading, and writing.

A helpful resource – professional counselling in book form

/ For the Love of Books / 4 Comments

The level of professional counselling we need is sometimes not easily found. That was the case for me a decade or two ago and this book was a life saver. It was written as a joint effort by the Minirth/Meir group, both of them psychiatrists, joined by a third person, a psychologist.

The book starts off talking about codependency. That’s not the way I remember it from my first reading. It’s funny how that goes. The parts I remember are the ones explaining what happened to me, how it has affected me, and the broken way I do life as a result. Understanding opened many life changing doors in my thinking.

Of all of the many books I’ve read this one was the most comprehensive and impacting. It was written to be a counselor to those without access to one. It covers the subject well enough to be a textbook written in layman’s terms.

I’ve shared this book here before but feel inspired to share it again.

I was speaking with a long time friend today, catching up on our lives and families. Stuff happens in our families and sometimes there is brokenness left undiscovered for decades.

I’ve been thinking about our conversation for most of the day and tonight remembered about this book that could be helpful in their situation. So, this is for my friend, to share as she sees fit.

It’s for you too (as reader) if this would be helpful in your life.

One more comment. I remember interpreting the title and certain phrases in the synopsis in a negative way.

Reality was nothing like my expectations. Supportive, kind, understanding, helpful; these are all words I would use to describe the experience. And, validation.

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Love Is a Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships

Amazon quote:

Let go of unhealthy relationships with the book that more than 850K people have trusted.

Best-selling doctors, Hemfelt, Minirth, and Meier, walk you through their ten proven stages to recovery from codependency that results from external circumstances.

Humans are susceptible to codependency because of our sinful tendency to use defense mechanisms to fool ourselves. In codependent relationships, deceitful games are played, and important Christian principles are often taken out of context and abused.

God wants us to have healthy relationships with a balance between being dependent and independent. The doctors describe how the most effective means of overcoming codependent relationships is to establish or deepen a relationship with Christ Himself.

They describe the causes of codependency, pointing out the factors that perpetuate it, and lead readers through their ten stages of recovery.

Continue a deeper study with the Love Is a Choice workbook, available separately.

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Read this prayerfully with a surrendered heart and mind. I say this because our defense mechanisms can have us locked up so tight that helpful thoughts cannot penetrate the armor we have going on. Work on wanting to know. Work on believing there is hope, and that you are worth so much more than what you’ve been told.

♥

We all learned some things

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It’s funny how a lighthearted conversation can turn into something so much more.

So the back story is that this annoying application showed up on my android phone a number of months ago and it kept wanting to open things up for me. I had no idea where it came from or why it was there. Unequivocally, I wanted it gone. Stop trying to take over my phone and my life.

Nothing worked the same with it there. I was happy with life before it showed up and I just wanted it off my phone so things could go back to normal. I even searched out removal instructions but couldn’t make them work for some reason.

After limping along for a very long time I mentioned it at my daughter’s house yesterday, complaining that I missed dates because I couldn’t access my calendar anymore. She enlisted the help of my grandson and while he searched to see what the app was all about before he looked for removal instructions, I laughingly but vehemently admitted to my rebelliousness at the app for trying to take over my life.

I’d figured out how to work around it for most things just not everything and I was highly resentful.

This was new territory for my daughter, I think she called it an eye opening experience listening to me rant about how much I hated the interference of this thing. Thankfully she didn’t enlarge on her comment during the family Zoom call later on.

So with my grandson’s search, he discovered the annoying app must have been an update and it was intended to launch apps, replacing the last version of an app launcher. It wasn’t the enemy I took it for and it wasn’t trying to take over my life and force me to do things I didn’t want to do.

There was a choice for just-once or always. I thought that meant it was an optional thing and the just-once was to decide if I wanted it or not. Turns out the just-once was to let me choose between two versions. He checked them out, we decided on always, problem solved.

At the time, I thought the whole conversation was hilarious. Later, thinking about why I felt like I was being pressured to do it’s biding, the conversation in my head took on a more serious tone.

Part of the problem in the misunderstanding is that while I can figure out how to use most apps, I have a problem with operating system issues. It’s always been that way. Probably because the need for action shows up so seldom.

The bigger part of the misunderstanding is more complicated. Thinking about my knee jerk reaction and my unreasonable position of viewing the app as the enemy, I have to admit, an irrational response on my part is pretty normal as a first reaction to many things.

I see the enemy everywhere because I have major trust issues.

I have to figure out how to make positive changes.

*********

I’ve been thinking about a dog. After seeing my grandson’s new puppy. A dog would be an easy way to share my life with another being and allow a little more than the usual contact with other humans.

Hmmmm.

I know. I have to stop thinking that everyone and everything is out to harm me. Fear is no way to live a fulfilling life.